Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, when I picked up my repeat subscription of anti-anxiety medication, they had changed the packaging to be more 'child safe'. Now it's so hard to get the pills out that I had an anxiety attack trying to take one. FML

#15706489
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33470) - you deserved it (7633)

On 04/09/2011 at 8:53am - health - by VoiceMail (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, after getting up to press snooze on my alarm clock, I climbed back into bed. When I went to reach for the covers quickly because I was cold, I missed, yet still managed to pull back my fist with force punching myself in the face. I now have a bloody fat lip. FML

#15702397
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25361) - you deserved it (12506)

On 04/09/2011 at 12:01am - health - by FistFighter (woman) - United States (California)

Today, as a going away present after five years of military service and one combat tour, the hospital scheduled me for a prostate exam. FML

#15693766
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27381) - you deserved it (3831)

On 04/08/2011 at 12:09pm - health - by jonh_215 - United States

Today, I finally found a reason to quit smoking. I threw my cigarette butt out the window and it blew back in, went down the back of my pants, and burnt my butt in 3 different places. FML

#15693395
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13169) - you deserved it (52271)

On 04/08/2011 at 11:30am - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was in the emergency room. The doctor told me that my injuries and back problems are the intensity of those after a car accident. I slipped on a grape. FML

#15691583
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38918) - you deserved it (5298)

On 04/08/2011 at 6:35am - health - by ridella -

Today, I accidentally clamped my hair straightener down on my ear. Eleven hours later, it still feels like I have a burning, swollen fireball hanging off the side of my head. FML

#15681998
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29042) - you deserved it (11812)

On 04/07/2011 at 5:18pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I finally learned why the application of lasers, acids, liquid nitrogen and witchcraft never did any good on the huge warts on my hands. Apparently, it's a genetic disease and not a virus. For unknown reasons, I've recently grown the normal viral kind too. On my tongue. FML

Today, I sprained my sternum in my rugby match. I now can't yell, laugh, cough, inhale or exhale fully, or sneeze without a sharp pain shooting through my chest. I have a pollen allergy, and sneeze every 5 or 10 minutes. FML

#15674369
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40796) - you deserved it (3982)

On 04/07/2011 at 12:17am - health - by ouchiee (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I discovered that an unmentioned side effect of my new medication is body zits. I now have zits on my neck, my ear, and inside my nose. FML

#15666194
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34649) - you deserved it (3276)

On 04/06/2011 at 3:31pm - health - by ewwww (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I went to a baseball game. It was windy, so I decided to get my hat from the car trunk. When I opened it and reached in, loose papers started flying everywhere. Panicked, my dad slammed the trunk shut on my fingers. Entering the stadium, I discovered it was free hat day. FML

#15647807
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34264) - you deserved it (5514)

On 04/05/2011 at 3:46am - health - by oww (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I heard that one of our customers had passed away. Saddened, I told everyone who came into our shop about his death. Understandably, some customers got very upset and one even fainted. Suddenly, the 'dead' man walked into the shop. Turns out I got the name wrong. FML

#15640936
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12310) - you deserved it (40296)

On 04/04/2011 at 8:17pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Ireland (Cavan)

Today, I had diarrhea in a public bathroom. When I was finished, I noticed that someone had pissed all over the toilet paper. FML

#15630869
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44690) - you deserved it (4557)

On 04/04/2011 at 1:26am - health - by Anonymous -

Today, I was in the shower 'grooming' myself for my second anniversary with my boyfriend. Halfway through the hot water ran out. I now have the choice of going with the low 'half-fro' or risking hypothermia. My boyfriend thinks hypothermia would be the better option. FML

#15617500
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17529) - you deserved it (27245)

On 04/03/2011 at 5:35am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: