Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, after months of dieting, I finally reached my goal weight. Excitedly I told my boyfriend, who gave me a beautiful dress as an early Christmas present. It was a size too small. FML

#14179989
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26917) - you deserved it (4682)

On 12/12/2010 at 3:32pm - health - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, I was taking the bus back to my university campus, having left work early feeling sick. While on the bus I started retching. I managed to hold it in for a while, but as I stood up to get off the bus, I started puking through my mouth and nose. This was in front of twenty other passengers. FML

#14153644
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27259) - you deserved it (2744)

On 12/10/2010 at 12:21pm - health - by pukathlon - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, one my friends died. All my crying gave me a headache, so I asked my boyfriend to bring me some aspirin. My headache didn't go away. Instead, I got diarrhea because my boyfriend gave me laxatives instead of aspirin as a "joke" to cheer me up. FML

#14147287
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52675) - you deserved it (3875)

On 12/09/2010 at 9:23pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I spent ages at CVS waiting for a flu shot. The main cause of holdup was a disagreement between the pharmacist and the insurance company over 4 cents. FML

#14135848
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23683) - you deserved it (2443)

On 12/08/2010 at 9:07pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my boyfriend refused to have his hair treated against lice, because "men don't have lice". FML

#14130110
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26819) - you deserved it (3371)

On 12/08/2010 at 9:56am - health - by scratchy (woman) - Israel (HaDarom)

Today, feeling so depressed to the point of having suicidal thoughts, I texted a girl I had a crush on. Her response? "Can you please delete my number, you're getting annoying." FML

#14127475
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32161) - you deserved it (18630)

On 12/08/2010 at 1:26am - health - by whyme -

Today, I was extremely constipated. This is a side effect of the medication I take to alleviate my stomach condition. Due to this same condition I can't eat much roughage. We have no laxatives or stool softeners, and I have been shitting bricks for three days. FML

#14124824
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22005) - you deserved it (3159)

On 12/07/2010 at 9:38pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was sitting on the bus when an obese woman with flu came to sit beside me. After snorting hideously for five minutes, she picked up her scarf, blew her nose into it and dropped it. It fell on my lap. When I stood up to leave the bus, there were streaks of snot on my new skirt. FML

#14116866
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30753) - you deserved it (2586)

On 12/07/2010 at 4:38am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I found out I have Raynaud's, a condition where your veins basically shut off all blood flow to your hands and feet if you get cold. Turns out "cold" for me is anything below 70 degrees. Oh, and I live in Ohio. FML

Today, I took a nap because I've been sick for the past week and I was exhausted. When I woke up, my hair, shirt, pillow, and bedsheets were soaked. I threw up all over myself in my sleep. FML

#14095720
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32384) - you deserved it (3002)

On 12/05/2010 at 1:25pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Singapore

Today, I went into labor with my first child, and as much as I pleaded, I had to wait for my husband to finish his raid in World of Warcraft before he'd take me to the hospital. FML

#14093813
367 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67704) - you deserved it (10411)

On 12/05/2010 at 8:38am - health - by newmother (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I got hit in the mouth with a hockey stick and lost four teeth. Yesterday I got my braces of six years removed. FML

#14036176
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (72822) - you deserved it (5137)

On 11/30/2010 at 2:10pm - health - by Anonymous - Ireland (Monaghan)

Today, I was at my psychologist's. We were talking about creative outlets and I told him that I wanted to start playing Dungeons and Dragons again. He starts chuckling, and then says, "Oh, you were serious." FML

#14032735
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12364) - you deserved it (19389)

On 11/30/2010 at 2:16am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Wisconsin)



FML's blog

  • FML with pics? That's FML Pics
  • They say that a picture is worth a thousand words. We reckoned pictures could be worth 300 characters, which is why we launched FML Pics. The name says it all, really: it's an FML app, only with…

Monday 3 August 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: