Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, my mother, my aunt, and my two sisters are all on their periods. I can't even brush my teeth in my own house without being treated like a criminal. FML

#13641509
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42987) - you deserved it (4782)

On 10/29/2010 at 8:10pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I decided to put on my Halloween make-up to be sure that I could and that it would look nice. I was satisfied with my results, and went to wash it off. Everything came off fine, except for the eye liner and eye shadow. It's bright purple. I'm a man. Halloween isn't until Sunday. FML

#13615434
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12912) - you deserved it (27391)

On 10/27/2010 at 2:57pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I took a shower and right after I fell asleep on my bed wrapped in my towel. I awoke to find my dad slapping me in the face. He thought I had fainted because I'm a diabetic. FML

#13610970
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24697) - you deserved it (5093)

On 10/27/2010 at 2:07am - health - by haleyfml - United States (California)

Today, I realized that my dandruff issue was so horrible, that even my eyebrows have dandruff. FML

#13610452
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25741) - you deserved it (7313)

On 10/27/2010 at 1:24am - health - by ew - United States (Michigan)

Today, I went to the dentist. I had to get a tooth removed. In the middle of the procedure, the power went out. I had to sit there for an hour to wait for it to come back on. The anesthetic wore off before he started working on me again. FML

#13603751
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29968) - you deserved it (2311)

On 10/26/2010 at 4:34pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, while working at a hospital, I told a patient to smile for the camera when taking an xray. His response was, "I have Bell's Palsy and haven't smiled in 5 years." FML

#13601804
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24259) - you deserved it (7122)

On 10/26/2010 at 12:50pm - health - by oaksac191 - United States (New York)

Today, I watched a grizzled, old gas station attendant with a stain on her blouse use my driver's license to pick something out of her teeth. FML

#13559030
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32255) - you deserved it (2632)

On 10/23/2010 at 4:17am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was walking down my very steep basement stairs when I fell and rolled all the way down but luckily I didn't hurt anything. While walking back up around the very last stair, my cat jumped out on me, causing me to roll all the way back down. FML

#13536174
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25844) - you deserved it (3559)

On 10/21/2010 at 10:48am - health - by catattack78 (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was shaving my left armpit when I cut myself badly. I wondered whether or not it would be safe to shave my right armpit, then reasoned that it couldn’t possibly happen twice. It did. FML

#13534827
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15255) - you deserved it (25315)

On 10/21/2010 at 6:57am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I found out that I have a gluten allergy. What this basically means is that I can't eat anything with wheat in it; bread, pasta, cake, you name it. I am Italian, this basically limits me from eating any of the awesome food my family makes almost every night. Here I come plain rice. FML

#13531568
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35143) - you deserved it (2984)

On 10/20/2010 at 11:12pm - health - by allergic - Sent from mobile version

Today, I went to the doctor's for the third time in a week for a huge growth under my jaw. I have seen an urgent care doctor, an emergency room doctor and an ear, nose and throat specialist who all gave me different diagnoses. I've so far spent $300. FML

#13520116
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23995) - you deserved it (2679)

On 10/20/2010 at 12:41am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I got my lip pierced. By the orthodontist. FML

#13518841
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37897) - you deserved it (2987)

On 10/19/2010 at 11:05pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend and I went to see his 72-year-old mom who just had minor surgery on her abdomen. When we asked how she was healing, she lifted up her nightgown to show us a bruise near her belly button. She wasn't wearing any underwear. FML

#13507250
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29824) - you deserved it (3147)

On 10/19/2010 at 1:20am - health - by coeurdlucky - United States



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