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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I went to the dentist to have a tooth pulled. The day before, I was too anxious to eat anything, so I went in with an empty stomach. There were complications during the extraction and now I'm not allowed to eat for the next 24 hours. FML

#15873960
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33181) - you deserved it (9441)

On 04/21/2011 at 2:18pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Glasgow City)

Today, my family and I discovered that my sleepwalking has escalated into sleep-raiding-the-fridge, after I woke up on my kitchen floor in a puddle of melted ice cream, surrounded by my parents, brother, and dogs. Apparently my recent dieting plans aren't going over too well with my subconscious. FML

#15842272
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32426) - you deserved it (4169)

On 04/19/2011 at 12:30am - health - by norestforthewicked -

Today, my husband and I were diagnosed with herpes. We've been together for five years and were both virgins before. Even the doctor couldn't give any other explanation. FML

#15820031
739 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53185) - you deserved it (7419)

On 04/17/2011 at 10:29am - health - by bumpyroad - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I had to take a mandatory drug test with the doctor present. Nervous, I couldn't get myself to pee in the cup right away. When I finally did, I couldn't stop myself from overfilling the cup and getting pee all over myself. FML

#15811020
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32399) - you deserved it (8370)

On 04/16/2011 at 6:20pm - health - by overflowing - United States (Texas)

Today, I got hurt and spent the remainder of the day limping. I wish I could say it was from something badass like roller derby, but I can't. A woman with a rolling cart filled with packs of Pepsi rolled over my foot on the bus. FML

#15809237
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26474) - you deserved it (3950)

On 04/16/2011 at 3:18pm - health - by pepsifoot - United States (Oregon)

Today, after receiving the third call this week from teachers about my son falling asleep in class, I decided that it would be a good idea to hide his Xbox controllers. He decided it would be a good idea to hide my diabetes medication. FML

#15805325
389 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49242) - you deserved it (18713)

On 04/16/2011 at 8:35am - health - by bbedlock (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I woke up with my eye swollen half shut. To spare the embarrassment, I asked my mom if I could stay home from school. She said no, but also attempted to make me feel better by saying that with my eye, my acne was unnoticeable. FML

#15796030
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33034) - you deserved it (3025)

On 04/15/2011 at 3:13pm - health - by madi - United States (California)

Today, to impress my friends, I attempted to do a back flip. The only one impressed was the doctor who set my broken leg. FML

#15786221
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10203) - you deserved it (36978)

On 04/14/2011 at 6:27pm - health - by fail (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I gave myself a bloody nose while trying to show my brother how to use a yo-yo. FML

#15786077
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15447) - you deserved it (24333)

On 04/14/2011 at 6:12pm - health - by Omegared - United States

Today, I had an allergic reaction to cranberry juice. The only reason I was drinking cranberry juice was to help with a bladder infection. Now I'm covered in what looks like a rash and peeing constantly. FML

#15768442
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32148) - you deserved it (3202)

On 04/13/2011 at 9:34am - health - by Arghh (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I used my hair straightener to attempt to straighten my eyelashes and burned my eyelid. I don't know what's sadder, that fact I thought it would be fun, or that I was stupid enough to think I wouldn't hurt myself. FML

#15753750
389 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12593) - you deserved it (134853)

On 04/12/2011 at 10:01am - health - by sadcase - Australia

Today, my dad set my hair on fire while cooking. He then tried to convince me that it spontaneously combusted. FML

#15748072
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32686) - you deserved it (3208)

On 04/11/2011 at 11:07pm - health - by ILiveWithMorons (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, after three days of hospital camping with my very sick husband, he was finally out of danger when I left last night to get my first good night's sleep in almost 96 hours. He woke me at 5 a.m. with a phone call asking me to bring him comic books because he's bored. FML

#15721476
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27720) - you deserved it (10957)

On 04/10/2011 at 6:59am - health - by Frazzled (woman) - United States (Ohio)



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