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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I found out that the weird lump on my eye is benign. That would be great news but they aren't going to treat it at all. Now I look like I'm high all the time. FML

#16016823
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26799) - you deserved it (2769)

On 05/02/2011 at 6:58am - health - by anon (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my favorite song came on and I started playing the air guitar and head banging to it. I didn't realize just how close I was to the chair next to me and went face first into the metal back. FML

#15991972
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11547) - you deserved it (36023)

On 04/30/2011 at 3:52pm - health - by Jordan - United States

Today, I was stuck crouching over the toilet after a night of drinking. My fiancé walked in, gathered my hair, and held it out of the way. When another wave of nausea hit me and I leaned in, he shoved my face into the bowl and ran out, laughing and yelling, "That'll teach ya!" FML

#15991083
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35027) - you deserved it (22424)

On 04/30/2011 at 1:50pm - health - by Laci (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my mom paid $40 for overnight shipping on delivery of paint for my Art major dropout sister, but insists on making me wait two weeks for my diabetes medication. FML

#15982407
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48900) - you deserved it (3084)

On 04/29/2011 at 9:00pm - health - by thanksmom - United States (California)

Today, my doctor told me my asthma was being triggered by my dad's smoking. He wrote a note to my dad, asking him to refrain from smoking while around me. My dad took one look at the note, then threw it in the trash, saying the doctor "doesn't know what he's talking about." FML

#15977216
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43394) - you deserved it (2893)

On 04/29/2011 at 12:09pm - health - by Wtf (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, a tornado watch has been instituted in my town. At this moment, I have violent diarrhea, and my toilet sits right in front of a window. FML

#15962941
234 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33515) - you deserved it (4104)

On 04/28/2011 at 12:51pm - health - by cnamobi - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was taking a dump in a porta-potty at a fair. I had the runs really bad. All I have to say is that it's tough to take a shit that seems never-ending while other people outside are bitching at you and hammering on the flimsy door. FML

#15946238
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35366) - you deserved it (3702)

On 04/27/2011 at 6:50am - health - by c.m.g. -

Today, I got concussion after a goat ran in front of me while I was jogging. FML

#15942316
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31784) - you deserved it (4144)

On 04/26/2011 at 11:07pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I broke my toe. My mom didn't think it was necessary to take me to hospital, opting to give me some painkillers instead. They were so strong that I fell asleep for an hour during my exam. FML

#15933616
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31724) - you deserved it (3905)

On 04/26/2011 at 12:00pm - health - by BigToe (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, it's hot and sunny, and a customer asked me how I was, I responded by saying "It's a hot sunny day. Who doesn't love the sun?" He responded by telling me he had just had three melanomas cut out. I guess I did find someone who doesn't like the sun. FML

#15933136
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27282) - you deserved it (5324)

On 04/26/2011 at 11:03am - health - by fifthtimesacharm -

Today, I lied to my diary about my weight. FML

#15932623
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23275) - you deserved it (50034)

On 04/26/2011 at 9:56am - health - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (London)

Today, while skiing on Mammoth Mountain, a man dressed in an Easter Bunny costume snowboarded into me and sent me flying. Not only did he hurt my wrist, he also threw an Easter egg at me, yelled "Happy Easter", and snowboarded away. FML

#15911784
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27212) - you deserved it (4074)

On 04/24/2011 at 7:49pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I shaved my head because I heard that one of my good friends got cancer. I went to visit her in the hospital. She's not bald. FML

#15907460
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20747) - you deserved it (58316)

On 04/24/2011 at 10:06am - health - by nohair (woman) - United States (Georgia)



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