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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I found out everyone in my family thought the red toothbrush was theirs, and that all four of us have been using the same toothbrush for months. FML

#14596150
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38235) - you deserved it (8055)

On 01/16/2011 at 12:11am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, it's the 3 month anniversary marking the day two friends and I shaved our heads as a show of solidarity for a friend starting chemo. Her prognosis is good and her hair only thinned slightly. We, on the other hand, look like a motley crew of lesbian biker chicks. FML

#14585633
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28070) - you deserved it (10137)

On 01/15/2011 at 2:09am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while playing with my cat, she decided to give me a surprise nipple piercing with her claws. FML

#14579173
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25525) - you deserved it (4848)

On 01/14/2011 at 3:53pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I cleaned my entire apartment hoping to find the source of the terrible odor I've been smelling for the past week. It's me. FML

#14567308
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8019) - you deserved it (36496)

On 01/13/2011 at 4:12pm - health - by John - United States (New York)

Today, my step-mom asked if I was having some eating issues. I admitted that maybe I've picked up some bad habits from friends and school. Now she won't stop bombarding me with self-help books and therapy websites. FML

#14548248
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10072) - you deserved it (21522)

On 01/11/2011 at 8:04pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I discovered that just because I got my braces removed does not mean my painful mouth ulcers will stop. I now have them under my tongue. I can't even lick my lips. FML

#14541152
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22840) - you deserved it (2443)

On 01/11/2011 at 1:38am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I realized the birthmark I have on my chest isn't a birthmark at all; it's a third nipple. FML

#14534141
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40808) - you deserved it (4293)

On 01/10/2011 at 3:35pm - health - by triplenipple (man) - Sweden (Skane Lan)

Today, I was drinking a bottle of water. My friend came up from behind and scared me, causing me to inhale and choke on the water. Lacking air, I passed out. I awoke to him on the ground laughing his ass off. I almost drowned drinking a bottle of water. FML

#14533533
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30727) - you deserved it (4099)

On 01/10/2011 at 2:14pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I decided to try a self-tanning lotion my friend had recommended. I put it on, and decided to take a nap. I woke up later and checked myself in the mirror, expecting to see a new, more tanned version of myself. I didn't. I'm now orange. FML

#14533477
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8136) - you deserved it (36162)

On 01/10/2011 at 2:06pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Denmark (Midtjyllen)

Today, my husband and I are both suffering from food poisoning. He has horrible, raging, rank smelling, explosive diarrhea; I am vomiting every 15 minutes. We have one bathroom. FML

#14531050
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35491) - you deserved it (2720)

On 01/10/2011 at 7:48am - health - by AW -

Today, my boyfriend decided it would be fun to sit on my lap. In the process he landed on me so hard that he made me hit my head. Then when he turned around his elbow smacked into my nose causing it to break. FML

#14530558
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28391) - you deserved it (2965)

On 01/10/2011 at 5:35am - health - by dinosaur - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, trying to be cute, my boyfriend threw a snowball at me. This would have been fine had it not been hard enough to break my glasses. As a college student, I have to choose between eating for the next two weeks or replacing them. FML

#14529233
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29694) - you deserved it (2734)

On 01/10/2011 at 2:09am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I got a call from Red Cross about the blood donation I gave last week. They informed me that I have Hepatitis C. FML

#14524206
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37490) - you deserved it (4013)

On 01/09/2011 at 7:29pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Serbia



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