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Today, I was in a public restroom taking a dump. It's difficult for me to do it in public, so to make it easier I kept telling myself "Nobody's here, you're all alone." I then heard "No, you're not." I didn't realize I was saying it out loud. And that I wasn't alone. FML

#14199411
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15249) - you deserved it (28221)

On 12/14/2010 at 4:26am - health - by shit (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I read that using vegetable oil would give your legs a smooth feel, especially if you haven't shaved for weeks. So I tried it out. My legs felt slimy, the oil clogged up the blades, and I was reduced to shaving my legs with a naked razor head and soapy water. Endlessly smooth indeed. FML

#14195214
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6467) - you deserved it (23991)

On 12/13/2010 at 8:55pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I missed work because I was at the hospital getting treated for accidentally inhaling chlorine gas. I didn't realize that using Comet Industrial Strength Cleanser to scrub out a cat litter pan could be so hazardous. FML

#14189532
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9297) - you deserved it (21733)

On 12/13/2010 at 10:27am - health - by lakb -

Today, the elevator got stuck in between floor 4 and 5 at my doctors office. I had been having violent diarrhea. It was the reason I was at the doctor. Elevator was stuck for 35 minutes. During that time, I diarrhea'd in my pants twice. There were seven other people in the elevator. FML

#14187537
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (99891) - you deserved it (5442)

On 12/13/2010 at 4:16am - health - by Christopher - Canada (Alberta)

Today, at Arby's, there were two cute guys behind me in line. Right before ordering, my dad said loudly "Go get the calorie sheet. You need to lose more weight before you think about going after those guys." FML

#14186357
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34849) - you deserved it (4882)

On 12/13/2010 at 1:29am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, after months of dieting, I finally reached my goal weight. Excitedly I told my boyfriend, who gave me a beautiful dress as an early Christmas present. It was a size too small. FML

#14179989
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26857) - you deserved it (4678)

On 12/12/2010 at 3:32pm - health - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, I was taking the bus back to my university campus, having left work early feeling sick. While on the bus I started retching. I managed to hold it in for a while, but as I stood up to get off the bus, I started puking through my mouth and nose. This was in front of twenty other passengers. FML

#14153644
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26668) - you deserved it (2706)

On 12/10/2010 at 12:21pm - health - by pukathlon - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, one my friends died. All my crying gave me a headache, so I asked my boyfriend to bring me some aspirin. My headache didn't go away. Instead, I got diarrhea because my boyfriend gave me laxatives instead of aspirin as a "joke" to cheer me up. FML

#14147287
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52567) - you deserved it (3869)

On 12/09/2010 at 9:23pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I spent ages at CVS waiting for a flu shot. The main cause of holdup was a disagreement between the pharmacist and the insurance company over 4 cents. FML

#14135848
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23620) - you deserved it (2435)

On 12/08/2010 at 9:07pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my boyfriend refused to have his hair treated against lice, because "men don't have lice". FML

#14130110
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26752) - you deserved it (3367)

On 12/08/2010 at 9:56am - health - by scratchy (woman) - Israel (HaDarom)

Today, feeling so depressed to the point of having suicidal thoughts, I texted a girl I had a crush on. Her response? "Can you please delete my number, you're getting annoying." FML

#14127475
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32089) - you deserved it (18612)

On 12/08/2010 at 1:26am - health - by whyme -

Today, I was extremely constipated. This is a side effect of the medication I take to alleviate my stomach condition. Due to this same condition I can't eat much roughage. We have no laxatives or stool softeners, and I have been shitting bricks for three days. FML

#14124824
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21948) - you deserved it (3155)

On 12/07/2010 at 9:38pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was sitting on the bus when an obese woman with flu came to sit beside me. After snorting hideously for five minutes, she picked up her scarf, blew her nose into it and dropped it. It fell on my lap. When I stood up to leave the bus, there were streaks of snot on my new skirt. FML

#14116866
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30678) - you deserved it (2583)

On 12/07/2010 at 4:38am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London)



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