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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, my step-dad explained to me why he doesn't need to wash his body. He condescendingly said, "Well when you shampoo your hair, the soap runs down your body and cleans everything." He's 37 years old. FML

#21329998
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29174) - you deserved it (2394)

On 01/03/2015 at 4:16pm - health - by Chicagoillinois (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend told me he'd come over and help me move a heavy dresser so I could paint the wall behind it. After an hour of waiting for him, I decided to move it myself. He finally arrived, not ten minutes after I broke my toe when I accidentally dropped the dresser on it. FML

#21330063
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26885) - you deserved it (8914)

On 01/03/2015 at 12:53pm - health - by ko (woman) -

Today, after finishing my second glass of wine, I walked out of the bathroom and saw the tag on my hair dryer from last year's rehab visit. FML

#21329685
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20177) - you deserved it (14029)

On 01/02/2015 at 11:04pm - health - by mosaicevolution (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, my sister compared me handling the news of recently being told that I have a devastating and very possibly fatal autoimmune disease, to that of a teenager being melodramatic. FML

#21329069
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32903) - you deserved it (2404)

On 01/02/2015 at 12:37am - health - by Sisterly Love - United States (Michigan)

Today, is the fourth day of my husband's and my new diet and exercise routine. I've already caught him eating junk food 4 times. He has lost 2 lbs and I've gained 3. FML

#21328280
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32573) - you deserved it (3685)

On 01/01/2015 at 12:50am - health - by hungry - United States

Today, I was trying on wedding dresses with my future sister-in-law who is a little bigger than me. We tried on a similar dress and she said it looked better on me because I'm skinny. Instead of saying, 'No way' or 'It looks great on you', I accidentally said 'Yeah, I know'. FML

#21327629
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17966) - you deserved it (30790)

On 12/31/2014 at 2:47am - health - by bridezilla - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I am struggling with exhaustion due to insomnia. The reason I cannot sleep is crippling anxiety - not about my complicated romantic situation, my pileup of work, or even my relationship with my father. No, I'm afraid of a blind ship captain I saw in a dream three days ago. FML

#21327341
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23429) - you deserved it (4180)

On 12/30/2014 at 6:47pm - health - by insomniacap (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I decided to start jogging and exercising, so I had a wonderful workout before work. Then I broke my foot at work. Goodbye exercising. FML

#21327143
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25275) - you deserved it (2106)

On 12/30/2014 at 12:24pm - health - by mikki bee - United States (Nevada)

Today, on my first ski run down a mountain, I dislocated my patella. Now I get to watch out of the window as my family builds a snowman and names it after me. FML

#21326721
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24559) - you deserved it (2047)

On 12/29/2014 at 8:07pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, while putting a water bottle into the fridge, I suddenly had to sneeze. The force of my sneezing propelled my head against the open fridge door, causing a gushing wound to my forehead. Bless me. FML

#21326529
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27606) - you deserved it (3094)

On 12/29/2014 at 2:11pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, I didn't feel like going to work, so I called in sick. Five hours later while out shopping, I got hit by a car at a crosswalk. Now I'm laid-up in the local hospital, really wishing I was with the guys at work. FML

#21325487
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17243) - you deserved it (36352)

On 12/27/2014 at 7:52pm - health - by julichlove (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I went paintballing with my girlfriend and her family. Her dad ended up shooting me, and I doubled over in pain. I thought that was it, until he stepped back and shot me several more times in the stomach. "Just double-tapping," he smirked. More like quadruple-tapping. FML

#21324616
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26683) - you deserved it (3302)

On 12/26/2014 at 9:58am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I found a hornet's nest in the backyard, so I called my brother over to take a look. He said "Hmm, wonder how fast you can run." then hurled a rock at the nest and sprinted back to the house. I wasn't so fast. I now feel like someone's beaten me half to death with a cactus. FML

#21323182
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34145) - you deserved it (3717)

On 12/24/2014 at 9:43am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)



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