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Today, I lied to the treadmill about my weight. FML

#7898560
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9519) - you deserved it (28359)

On 02/05/2010 at 2:33am - health - by Holly - United States

Today, my girlfriend decided it would be a funny idea to spray me with a hose while I was holding a kitten, showing her how cute we were. Needless to say, now I'm covered head to toe in cat scratches. FML

#7870417
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19631) - you deserved it (2804)

On 02/04/2010 at 3:40am - health - by littlespoon (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was at the gym and saw an old friend. I have put on a lot of muscle in the past few months, and she said to me "Wow, you've really gotten big." Just by habit I said "You too." Turns out she's gained 45 lbs since I'd last seen her. Oops. FML

#7869432
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9140) - you deserved it (25466)

On 02/04/2010 at 2:22am - health - by Tuffgunsmoke - Sent from mobile version

Today, my mom is going with me for a general check-up at the doctor's office. She just told me she had a nightmare last night that she went to the doctor with me, and he told her I'm pregnant. I am pregnant. I was about to tell her. FML

#7855976
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23881) - you deserved it (6212)

On 02/03/2010 at 8:18pm - health - by XxOx - Sent from mobile version

Today, my youngest son had to have stitches in his chin. He did great, I passed out. FML

#7844166
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16602) - you deserved it (6190)

On 02/03/2010 at 11:02am - health - by Sherlock - Sent from mobile version

Today, after waiting to get home to go to the bathroom, my six year old neighbor popped out and literally scared the shit out of me. FML

#7842488
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23659) - you deserved it (2992)

On 02/03/2010 at 8:48am - health - by Scaredshitless - Sent from mobile version

Today, I woke up in the hospital. I had apparently overworked my heart so much that I fainted. What caused it? I was playing a racing game on my Wii and freaked out when I won first place. FML

#7789192
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11608) - you deserved it (31981)

On 02/01/2010 at 7:40pm - health - by overexcited (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was playing rugby. I was tackled very hard at the end of a play, and I got up to find my head bleeding profusely. Not one person offered to drive me to the ER. I had to drive myself to get six stitches in the face. FML

#7771454
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24336) - you deserved it (2844)

On 02/01/2010 at 2:34am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, it's officially been two weeks since I found out I have mono. It's also been two weeks since anyone has visited me, called me, or even emailed me. The real kicker? I'm now fired from my job because they can't believe I can have mono twice in one year. I guess I'm just lucky that way. FML

#7770242
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23207) - you deserved it (3015)

On 02/01/2010 at 1:43am - health - by blah - Sent from mobile version

Today, my little brother was playing with my cat, getting it to chase a laser pointer. He thought it would be funny to shine the laser pointer over my nuts. FML

#7760741
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22802) - you deserved it (2836)

On 01/31/2010 at 10:16pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I sprained my ankle while playing soccer. I still have to walk home. In the rain. FML

#7742819
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19888) - you deserved it (2766)

On 01/31/2010 at 12:07pm - health - by snidpea - Sent from mobile version

Today, my sister asked me if any of my family members had commented on my recent weight gain. I told her no not really. Her reply? "They must just being saying it behind your back then." FML

#7729865
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20205) - you deserved it (3061)

On 01/31/2010 at 12:38am - health - by lilsis (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my mum got upset with me for getting my first hangover ever after being of legal drinking age for over 6 years. She is a closet alcoholic in denial who hides red wine bottles around the house. FML

#7663968
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22073) - you deserved it (2457)

On 01/29/2010 at 12:49am - health - by mirrorfad - Sent from mobile version



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