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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I broke my arm. When I got home from the doctors with my cast, I fell asleep on the couch from the medicine. When I woke up, there were swastikas, "I love the KKK", and multiple penises written all over my cast. My dad thought it would be funny. FML

#14750549
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32737) - you deserved it (3955)

On 01/28/2011 at 11:10pm - health - by Mervin22 - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was given the ultimate ultimatum: either I suffer excruciating stomach pains and remain a hostage to the porcelain whirlpool goddess, or I stop taking pain medication and face the wrath of a raging infection in my jaw. FML

#14743566
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26656) - you deserved it (2708)

On 01/28/2011 at 2:26pm - health - by Damn.... (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, after mourning and making my girlfriend cancel her big birthday party, I found out my grandma didn't actually die. FML

#14717553
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15795) - you deserved it (24045)

On 01/26/2011 at 5:31am - health - by WronglySad619 (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend had to give me an enema. FML

#14700960
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22204) - you deserved it (4017)

On 01/24/2011 at 7:30pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to the eye doctor. For the past three days every time I wear my glasses I become nauseous, get migraines, and have that "fish-eye view" where everything is rounded. Turns out they placed my lenses on the wrong sides. FML

#14694956
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26619) - you deserved it (2723)

On 01/24/2011 at 3:01am - health - by l0stnwundrland - United States

Today, I had a panic attack because I was constipated. FML

#14692086
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20751) - you deserved it (8115)

On 01/23/2011 at 10:41pm - health - by Sostupid (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, after months of living with my roommate's horrific snoring, I looked over to see her sleeping quietly. Elated that I might actually get a full night of rest for once, I went to bed. Just as my eyelids began to droop, she started making vile hissing sounds. Yes, hissing. FML

#14662747
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25977) - you deserved it (2476)

On 01/21/2011 at 2:46pm - health - by turnedintoinsomniac (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I braved the winter weather conditions to get to a clinic for a prescription anti-diarrhea medication. When I arrived to find it closed, I turned around to walk to my car where I slipped on the ice. The impact made me simultaneously bruise my elbow and shit myself. FML

#14660867
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34336) - you deserved it (3361)

On 01/21/2011 at 10:13am - health - by chelseaface (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because I'm "high maintenance." I'd only asked him to use deodorant and brush his teeth. He hasn't had a shower in over a week. FML

#14659037
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30469) - you deserved it (5618)

On 01/21/2011 at 4:25am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Monaco

Today, I now know why my next-door neighbour can't look me in the eye without smirking. He can hear every grunt, groan, fart and strain that happens in my bathroom from his bathroom. FML

#14656161
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24874) - you deserved it (3299)

On 01/20/2011 at 10:55pm - health - by Username -

Today, I came to school really sick because I had to take an important exam. After I finally finished, I accidentally sneezed on my answer sheet right before turning it in. The teacher refused to take it. FML

#14646184
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28117) - you deserved it (4043)

On 01/20/2011 at 12:47am - health - by sickly (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out that it's extremely difficult to take a dump while holding a cup under your ass for a lab specimen. I also found out that you get so nervous that you can actually forget to lock the door. FML

#14635663
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26472) - you deserved it (5238)

On 01/19/2011 at 3:34am - health - by Anonymous (man) - Lebanon

Today, I was going to the bathroom at my boyfriend's house. I had awful diarrhea and was almost done, when I noticed a spider on the ground. Being terrified, I took a giant ball of toilet paper to kill it. I realized then that I had no toilet paper left to use. FML

#14634381
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9897) - you deserved it (31063)

On 01/19/2011 at 12:45am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)



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