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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, my extremely in-shape boyfriend told me he hasn't had a chance to work out lately. I jokingly poked him in the belly saying he's getting chunky and winked. He burst into tears. FML

#16871149
296 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25692) - you deserved it (39096)

On 06/26/2011 at 9:08pm - health - by kaplwv116 - United States (Illinois)

Today, my mom insisted on putting sunscreen on me. I closed my eyes and shut my mouth while she rubbed some on my face. Halfway through, I burped. I opened my mouth just in time to get a large glob of sunscreen in it. FML

Today, my mother won't give me any painkillers for my migraine. She believes that "When medicine goes into your stomach, the acids stop the medicine from working" and that "It's all in people's heads when medicine works". FML

#16847494
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34446) - you deserved it (2987)

On 06/25/2011 at 8:58am - health - by Live02Dance - United States (Virginia)

Today, I had my first hockey game after being out with a shoulder injury. I ended up cracking my tail bone. FML

#16835605
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32651) - you deserved it (4328)

On 06/24/2011 at 3:17pm - health - by Paul Williams - United States

Today, I found out how it feels to have my groin catch fire due to a magic trick going wrong. FML

#16830734
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28677) - you deserved it (12156)

On 06/24/2011 at 5:57am - health - by chaoticnh - Austria

Today, I had my anus probed twice by two different doctors. I was diagnosed with hemorrhoids. I'm a 22 year old guy and have to schedule a colonoscopy for next week. I guess there's a first time for everything. FML

#16829540
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29368) - you deserved it (3275)

On 06/24/2011 at 3:17am - health - by John (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I dislocated my collarbone while trying remove my bra without taking off my shirt. FML

#16825145
280 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19188) - you deserved it (34735)

On 06/23/2011 at 11:01pm - health - by Ali (New York) - United States (New York)

Today, I couldn't prove my son has had chickenpox, so his school gave us the option of getting a potentially dangerous shot he didn't need, pay for an expensive blood test to show that he previously had the virus, or sign a waiver stating I'm a religious nut refusing medical treatment. FML

#16822119
356 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31258) - you deserved it (7424)

On 06/23/2011 at 7:58pm - health - by CallMeJesusFreak (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I attempted to bleach my body hair so I wouldn't have to shave. A little while later, I realized that I'd also succeeded in bleaching my skin, which was incredibly noticeable. I'm hosting a pool party this weekend. FML

#16817769
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11085) - you deserved it (47476)

On 06/23/2011 at 2:56pm - health - by run4fun (woman) - United States (Vermont)

Today, my dad informed me that I will be staying in the bug-infested shed for the summer when I come to visit, due to his girlfriend's sewing workspace completely taking over the only room I've ever had at his house. FML

#16792540
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33893) - you deserved it (2472)

On 06/22/2011 at 12:59am - health - by justinj360 - United States (Montana)

Today, my mother told my little sister and me that she has breast cancer to make us feel sorry so that we would clean our rooms. She is perfectly fine. My little sister still thinks that "mommy is going to die". FML

#16787044
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43676) - you deserved it (3465)

On 06/21/2011 at 7:51pm - health - by anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was sitting at the computer browsing various websites. In my attempt to scoot the chair forward, I hit my knee against the desk that my computer was on, and ended up breaking it. I literally broke my knee sitting on my ass. FML

#16781129
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31925) - you deserved it (8040)

On 06/21/2011 at 12:59pm - health - by Charles (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my mother tried to tell me that nicotine is the only substance that ensures weight loss, and that nicotine has been passed down in our family for over 5 generations of heavy smoking relatives. Then she encouraged me to start smoking. FML

#16776471
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44055) - you deserved it (3452)

On 06/21/2011 at 3:08am - health - by Caeru (woman) - United States (Texas)



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