By Anonymous - 27/09/2014 02:46 - United States - Vancouver

Today, I'm sick with the worst head cold of my life. For some reason whenever I cough, I also fart. Everyone thinks I'm just trying to cover up flatulence with fake coughing. FML
I agree, your life sucks 38 085
You deserved it 3 510
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Same thing different taste

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Top comments

Martinez0285 28

At least that's the only thing coming out when you cough... Could be worse :p feel better op

71 2

Comments

kristabelli 19

OMG this made me snort my coffee it's so funny. xD (Sorry OP.)

3 14
HairIsEverything 15

#19 so did you do it through a straw or somehow line it up on the table?

20 3
orbit 22

I prefer to use a rolled up $20 bill, makes me feel more important while I snort my coffee

16 1
DarksideDoll 31

Conspiracy theory: OP only created an FML to further cover up his fake-cough & fart routine.

1 0
kittykat1501 31

19 means snorted out coffee. I've spit my coffee out at something funny before

0 0
Martinez0285 28

At least that's the only thing coming out when you cough... Could be worse :p feel better op

71 2
randomcrazyguy 17

When I was very sick every time I coughed I would: vomit, shart, and pee

10 4
marcranger 28

I once came down with food poisoning during hay fever season. I had to replace my entire underwear collection after that week!

6 2
mrwilsong 6

Mucinex , keeps farts in and mucus out.

31 2
octinate 17

Or work on your pelvic floor exercises

7 1
soccer_isbae 15

Wear a thong. It'll at make your farts silent, so you can blame them on someone else.

6 15
stronghand0331 17

In what world is this possible? I'd gladly become a citizen of that universe

25 3
Iceberg86300 14

Yeah, I'm not going to try this out. And not because I'm a guy that doesn't want to wear a thong, but because this is ludicrous. If you have gas, you might be able to make it unnoticeable. If you have gas and a cough or anything that requires a sharp contractions of your diaphragm there's no controlling of how the gas exits. Maybe stuff a squeaky toy squeaker up your ass and say it's just your lungs wheezing LOL.

2 2
man_eating_bunny 18

Thats sucks! Well at least ur not sharting...

4 5
sydstoomuch 19

Wow...Obviously you're trying to cover up the coughs with fake flatulence. FYL

22 1
pawelthink 14

I could picture Booger from revenge of the nerds saying "thank you Lord, my dreams came true!"

0 7