By Mike - 25/04/2011 21:39

Today, my house was robbed while I sat helplessly on the toilet with violent diarrhoea. I could hear them laughing hysterically. FML
I agree, your life sucks 55 736
You deserved it 6 391
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Top comments

Grimmerie 31

your attempts to foil them would have tanked. it sucks to have to put up with that kind of crap. at least they didn't tie you to a stool. although your attempts at heroism were flushed, try not to feel too shitty about it. after all, we can't all be heroes - someone has to be number two.

308 18

Comments

TheRealFamilyGuy 5

if it's was so violent why didn't you let the shit beat the shit out of the robbers?

59 5
JustLetItHappen 2

Dude, people stay away from crazy. But when you got shit, nobody messes with you. Get off the crapper next time.

9 2
smmrgrl 1

this îs why people should always have their phonea with them in the toilet :) plus, when ur bored, u could always play gaaammeesss :D

17 3
aquariusangel420 0

Well you priolly already had a mess to clean up but I woulda got up off that toilet quicker than fast and beat their asses finishing off the diareaa sp? on their heads that's what ******* get for messing with your house

6 3
urdirtyolduncle 15

This guy gives a whole new meaning to "a shitty situation"

6 5
bravesfan112233 0

did you at least wipe?

1 4
EnaBoC 5

Lol I always bring my phone with me. in fact....I'm taking a shit as I type this =)

24 5
QuantumLegend 0

"looking for my treasure!?" proceed: unload on their faces

3 2
SuperAnthony 7

You should be happy that you were safe in a locked bathroom away from possibly armed men, though that really sucks.

3 1
Miss_Michaela 10

You've 'robbed' the hopes of people's hearts in which they believed no one would use that pun ever again.

6 51
testthecoal 5

puns like this Want to make me tear my eyes out...

11 10
TheWindowLicker 13

As funny as that pun was when I first heard it, when it's misused it's not that great.

6 9
j_cat187 19

keep a pistol in every room in the house

7 6
Dreamcatcher619 6

wow, as funny as it is I think I heard that a million times everyone talks about jersey shore, but thanks.

0 4
iislix1ii 19

http://www.google.com/m/url?client=safari&ei=MVq3TbjhEdbZlgfV94aOAQ&hl=en&oe=UTF-8&q=http://wiki.answers.com/Q/Are_Fladoodles_real&ved=0CB4QFjAC&usg=AFQjCNGFddbgAKWP5h38wgX1JiuFMp988g

0 0
iislix1ii 19

omg srry tht was a mistake -_- i didnt mean to paste

0 0
erinhaydenn 0

that would scare the shit out of me .

4 1
SNL 2

that's hilarious !!!!! XD

0 1
BigMacBoi 3

#116 It's not like they'd find it or anything y'know there only looking through everything for valuables -_- Robbers: " OH HEY A GUN!"

0 1
The_Voytek_Bear 14

You could have used your weakness as your weapon. Fugure out how ]:->

69 10
kingtz 6

#3 I was thinking the exact same thing!

0 1
christian50 0

In a situation like that, you gotta let the shot hit the fan and go kick some ass.

2 3
vyktor_fml 0

Haha this is great.

0 1
emmanizzer 6

run out there and shit on them.... gross but hey, they're stealing your stuff!

5 2
Jrefinne 7

That's one of my biggest fears. FYL.

38 2
ydi_4_suking 20

to get robbed? or have violent explosive hershey squirts?

21 1
Saint_Pete_Saint 0

we^(my team and I) think this is hilarious but scary at the same time •.•

0 2
Grimmerie 31

your attempts to foil them would have tanked. it sucks to have to put up with that kind of crap. at least they didn't tie you to a stool. although your attempts at heroism were flushed, try not to feel too shitty about it. after all, we can't all be heroes - someone has to be number two.

308 18
Gamer_Bum 1

#6 anymore extremely original puns you want to throw out there?

6 61
kaylanicole1255 1

Ypu put wayyy too much effort into your comment! LOL :)

4 42
DanDanGoesRawr 0

hahah simply amazing

2 3
kingtz 6

#6 wins the internets!

18 4
stfuitscindeeeh9 3

Haha, I agree.

1 2
TheNewGuy03 28

your comment is an upper-decker! |the kid|

3 2
xMexicanXJesusx 0

I wanted to thumbs up this comment but it has 69 thumbs up. RESPECT THE 69.

16 0
ahlecksgee 0

this guy spends to much time on FML. still a genius . lmao

1 5
aardvarkish 15

6 succeeds in reminding me of Pendatik. A huge compliment.

0 0
kahbrah 3

that was like poetry and ur a genius

2 0
SpectSelf 0

I'm sure if you came out the bathroom with shit flying out your ass, they would've ran out the door with minimal gain. I mean a person who comes out the bathroom ******** on themselves does not give a ****!!! you might have scared them.

120 4
allmidnighteyes 10

Exactly this. If you come at them like some senile fool with liquefied shit flowing down your leg and a handful of it ready to throw at the robbers, it's pretty much a guarantee that they will NOT **** with you again.

21 0
puddy_fml 0

This made my night. I will, also, never forget this comment.

1 1
kai_li 8

This. I can take a shower, I can clean my pants and my carpet. OP is a fool. You must have homeowners insurance.

1 1
SeasonedLemur 5

I used to have a girlfriend that used to throw her turds at me, no joke. She used to laugh with glee as she squirted one out into the palm of her hand and then proceeded to launch it at me aiming specifically at mine eyes!!!

8 11
lolol_BKYCHO 3

Thanks for that, 75, I just vomited.

9 0
vyktor_fml 0

Dude your girlfriend was messed up...

3 0
FunCheeze 0

OMG!!! I COULD NOT READ THIS WITHOUT LAFFING HYSTERICLY!!!

2 1
pancakeboss 0

omg they should make a scary movie like that

0 1
Garytt 0

should of pinned him down and shat on his face :D

18 3