By meh. - 07/04/2011 10:19 - Switzerland

Today, I finally learned why the application of lasers, acids, liquid nitrogen and witchcraft never did any good on the huge warts on my hands. Apparently, it's a genetic disease and not a virus. For unknown reasons, I've recently grown the normal viral kind too. On my tongue. FML
I agree, your life sucks 34 020
You deserved it 4 275

meh_dot tells us more.

meh_dot 0

Since I am now bored, drunk and everybody has loooong ceased to care, I'm going to actually respond to make myself feel a little bit better and no one else. @#105: Hell no! That I don't wish on anybody in the world (for the poor old lady on wikipedia it's too late of course). It's only acrokeratosis, but still... @all the religious numbskulls who were offended by that one word an anonymous guy posted somewhere on the internet and their opponents who thought that was a nice point to start another massive debate, which doesn't really come as a surprise, but come on! story goes like this: my hyper-esoteric mom found that with all the science and doctors and stuff, her side was kinda underrepresented. So she NAGGED me into seeing some healer dude who basically wished the lesions away, intensely so. Yeah right. Might as well have drawn pentagrams or sacrificed goats or prayed to a wizard in the sky for all the good that did. For me: same thing really. Not a bad thing that is, but it only works if you genuinely believe in it. Like that placebo effect thingie. I chose the witchcraft for convenience mainly and because it contrasted the other useless measures nicely. @the [do not want]-lick comments: haha. If it's funny the first time, it must be so next time too, right? Point is, if I had put my tounge in an inapropriate place, I would have posted so, with much pride. And everybody could have hit that 'deserved it' button to no end. That's why I specifically wrote unknown reasons. And why would I lick toads? They'd be effing hard to find in this climate but the weed and funny mushrooms grow well and everybody's quite laid-back about it. So there. @#102: Yes! Love it! And it's so accurate. See kids, this is how mutations work on humans in real life. And then you surf the web and mess up natural selection with online dating (not that I did). Hur hur hur. @everybodies genuinely empathic statements & ironic comments. Thx a lot! Heartwarming; made my day.

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…
Previous FML Next FML

Top comments

hmna 0

Dude. Dental dams. Or condoms, depending on the team you play for.

34 0
CallMeHush 0

Licking for love in all the wrong places...

34 2

Comments

trick619 0

maybe you will end up on a show on tlc or something

0 0
biass 0

I couldn't imagine that happening to me... I'm glad I'm wart-less... EWWW!

0 0
aquariusangel420 0

Sounds like herpes and you just wanna say it's something else quit being a ***** and maybe you would've contracted herpes DUMBASS there's meds for this maybe you should take them instead of sucking dick HAHA

0 0
rallets 22

maybe youre transforming into something... ...something a little lizard-like... ... GODZILLA!!!!!!! ahhhhhhh run away!!!!!!

1 1
rallets 22

but they taste so good >:O

0 1
beatrucelynn 0

frogs do taste delicious and send you on a wonderful spiritual journey.

0 0
meb09 0

I wouldn't share that with people. disgusting.

0 0
yougotapes 7

agreed... so sorry

0 0
EatnBeef 7

not called general warts... it's genital warts lol

0 0
TheRealFamilyGuy 5

I have general warts, their like genital warts but you know more general.

0 0
ubetrwatchBN 5

They're not as bad as specific warts. I've heard those kill.

0 0
MetallicaRules19 4

have a nice time in hell for using witchcraft...

0 1
Twisted107 4

how does it taste?

2 18
broccoli2 0

reminds me of the triceratops scene in jurassic park :D

0 0
noobgang7 5

When I seal the lips below your waist. You will never **** again (8)

0 0
LunaNstars 0

why don't you try it?

13 1
noobgang7 5

...After the lips are sealed below your waist? You will never **** again! Whitechapel reference win

4 10
nineiron457 1

I would hate that I've had them on my hands before so it'd really suck on your tongue

9 0
Mindtrap 0

ew 96 that hurt my eyes. and I've got them on my hands they suck D:

0 0
Pokeemon 3

I didn't even know it was possible to get it on your tongue I have one on my hand and it's grossss

6 0
yummycupcakegirl 0

Wow FYL, good luck.

0 0
omgcookeys 15

I know, if witchcraft didn't work, I don't know what will.

6 0
Auntie_Christ 0

See, GOD is repaying you for using witchcraft. You can look on the bright side: Now you won't need a barbell piercing ;-)

0 2
mskaybee 0

Really? You believe in a Judgemental, Intolerant, Vengeful God? Man I don't know why people would put their faith into an entity who likes to punish people on a whim for incredibly inane and harmless activities. The mind boggles at the thought of a God who makes people shit their pants with fear of His wrath...

6 0
mskaybee 0

Oh wait you're making a joke ... just looked at your profile. Sorry it's late here and I'm tired.

0 0
Acousticpixie14 6

Well what we think is harmless may indeed not be. I bet little kids think a lot of the things we tell them not to do are harmless, when they actually are dangerous for them. Humans are extremely arrogant. We do not possess all of the knowledge of the universe, plain and simple.

0 3
mskaybee 0

In the scheme of things it is harmless so long as the person isn't hurting or harming or exploiting other people or animals. As for your statement on human arrogance and not understanding the mysteries of life and the universe - will you also agree that Christianity (or another mainstream religion) is potentially harmful when it purports to be "the answer" to those mysteries.

3 0
SirEBC 7

Yes, yes, all religion is bad and Christianity is for close-minded ignorant bigots, blah blah blah. We get it. Please let this be the end to this and all other threads pointlessly babbling about each other's inferior beliefs/logic.

1 1
Jimboom 11

My deity can beat up your deity! :-P

0 0
Doortje 29

Maybe it'll provide extra pleasure when French kissing?

10 0
shakethat 10

Eeew I could not make out with anyone with warts on the tongue. sorry op. fyl

4 0
Time2spare 0

Dude that freaking sucks

0 0
ThatLooksSticky 16

I think I'd kill myself.

2 13
Chunkylover76 4

And you didn't come to that same conclusion right after you took your picture there! Gene Roddenberry must have threw up in his grave!

0 0
IFightBearsDaily 0

you'd kill yourself because of something this small? wow. imagine if something big happened. you'd have to kill yourself more inside, and then physically. how shallow are you?

5 1
biass 0

I'm very shallow. In the deep way though.

3 2
cptmorgan15 2

I agree with 27. As long as it's referring to 23.

0 0
ThatLooksSticky 16

I love the replies to the comment I made. Apparently no one recognizes sarcasm when they read it...and on a site dedicated to humor! Hehe people are so dumb. :)

2 9
megz21 0

it wasnt very funny... or sarcastic to say something like that

6 2
beastlybeauty 4

id kill myself if i looked like you... thatswhatsticky

1 4
beastlybeauty 4

lookssticky w.e.

0 5