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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, after a snowstorm my son decided that boarding off the roof onto my truck would be fun. My truck now has a puncture wound. The same truck that drove him to the hospital for his puncture wound and broken arm. FML

#21523317
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16861) - you deserved it (1482)

On 02/06/2016 at 6:56am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I worked up the confidence to go to the mall alone for the first time since being confined to a wheelchair. It didn't even take 20 minutes before some teenager grabbed my wheelchair and tried to race me around, all while his friends watched and laughed. FML

#21523102
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24561) - you deserved it (1112)

On 02/05/2016 at 3:08pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I shared with my doctor that I still feel uncomfortable with my medication. She expressed surprise, saying, "Really? By now I would've thought it'd be routine." Sorry, no. In three months, I have not gotten used to sticking a syringe up my butt and injecting my rectum full of medicated foam. FML

#21522878
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19521) - you deserved it (1516)

On 02/04/2016 at 9:22pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Maryland)

Today, I went to the doctor after being sick for weeks. I found out that I had bronchitis that then progressed to pneumonia. My girlfriend is hearing impaired, and when I can finally get words to come out when I speak, she can't understand them. I'm not sure who I feel more sorry for. FML

#21522623
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18882) - you deserved it (1547)

On 02/03/2016 at 11:59pm - health - by FueledByFate - United States (Arizona)

Today, I tried to explain autism to my classmates. One of them, a professional cunt who's always looking for an excuse to lecture people, accused me of being "ableist" because my explanations weren't accurate, and said I shouldn't explain things I don't understand. I'm actually autistic. FML

#21522371
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21715) - you deserved it (1382)

On 02/03/2016 at 8:33am - health - by Ishikur (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was at the gym. I'm 360 lbs and have finally decided it's time to change that. Some girl and her two bitch friends thought it'd be fun to follow me and belittle me at everything I did. When I mentioned it to the staff, they said that they were just "encouraging" me. FML

#21522018
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26747) - you deserved it (1738)

On 02/02/2016 at 5:17am - health - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, when I went to see my therapist, she handed me a tube of tooth paste and said, "Please use it". FML

Today, I got in trouble with my boss for not showing up to work yesterday. It seems going into anaphylactic shock isn't a valid excuse. FML

#21521056
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20183) - you deserved it (1195)

On 01/30/2016 at 4:33am - health - by Allergic to Assholes - United States (Indiana)

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom. I was there with the lights out when something ran across my foot. I freaked out, tried to kick it off, and ended up smashing my foot into the side of the tub. FML

#21520448
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18690) - you deserved it (2805)

On 01/28/2016 at 3:24pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I was diagnosed with a condition that makes me lactate. I'm a 6' tattooed guy with a boxing competition coming up soon. I'm never going to hear the end of this. FML

#21520387
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21992) - you deserved it (1557)

On 01/28/2016 at 11:26am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I woke up with a pounding headache. My wife tells me that last night I woke up from a nightmare, screaming, tried to run away and knocked myself out running headfirst into the bedroom wall. So she put me back to bed and went back to sleep. FML

#21519974
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20521) - you deserved it (1978)

On 01/27/2016 at 7:02am - health - by oliver (man) - United States

Today, I learned that I have a sinus infection, ear infection and bronchitis so bad it was on the verge of pneumonia. My work won't let me call in sick. I work with kids. Lovely. FML

#21519906
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20338) - you deserved it (1181)

On 01/27/2016 at 12:02am - health - by sicky - United States (Utah)

Today, I donated blood for the first time. It wasn't until I passed out on the ice during hockey practice that I remembered the nurse warning me not to do any type of exercise. FML

#21519730
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10585) - you deserved it (17656)

On 01/26/2016 at 4:38pm - health - by ktm1313 - United States (Ohio)



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