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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, my ex gave me a heartwarming speech about how much he wanted me back. After talking for hours and me finally wanting to get back together too, he started mentioning a date he has with a cute colleague. Conclusion: he wants to get back together, but still be able to fuck the entire world. FML

#21366438
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33934) - you deserved it (3338)

On 03/02/2015 at 9:04am - intimacy - by donotbelieveinsecondchances (woman) - Netherlands (Zuid-Holland)

Today, my sister came out of the closet. By which I mean she came out as the pregnant mother of my boyfriend's child. FML

#21365896
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36565) - you deserved it (2399)

On 03/01/2015 at 2:03pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my boyfriend dumped me for another girl, via a text message ending with "No hard feelings. Well xcept 4 my cock obvs. ;)" Fuck you, Rick. FML

#21365892
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34174) - you deserved it (2577)

On 03/01/2015 at 1:59pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Suffolk)

Today, I slipped on some ice and wrecked my back. When my husband and I went to go to bed, he begged me to take one of the pain pills left over from his recent surgery. Not so I could feel better and get some rest, but so he could have sex. FML

#21365511
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30326) - you deserved it (3083)

On 02/28/2015 at 9:47pm - intimacy - by k8thagr8 (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I'm stuck in a taxi cab while the driver listens to a radio show about sex fetishes. Can't wait to look him in the eye as I pay him. FML

#21365302
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25763) - you deserved it (2517)

On 02/28/2015 at 2:53pm - misc - by jojolee68 (woman) - United States

Today, while cleaning my son's room, I found an envelope labelled "PRIVATE AND CONFIDENTIAL" under his bed. I opened it, only to find it was a glitter bomb. I couldn't get it all cleaned off myself before he got home. He just said "HAH! Serves you right!" and went to his room smirking. FML

#21365242
237 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18734) - you deserved it (55343)

On 02/28/2015 at 1:11pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I sharted during my wedding vows. FML

#21365151
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37765) - you deserved it (4510)

On 02/28/2015 at 9:16am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Denmark (Nordjylland)

Today, after struggling for over a year with it, and now having it medically confirmed, I told my step-dad about my depression. He gave me a disgusted look and scoffed, "Toughen up, cunt." FML

#21364994
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33274) - you deserved it (3875)

On 02/28/2015 at 12:22am - health - by fine (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I broke my leg. My mom told me I still have to go to tennis class tomorrow because the course isn't refundable. FML

#21364862
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29227) - you deserved it (2058)

On 02/27/2015 at 9:25pm - health - by Ouch (woman) - Hong Kong

Today, my hiccups got so intense that I threw up in the middle of class. FML

#21364742
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30076) - you deserved it (2255)

On 02/27/2015 at 5:23pm - misc - by pregz (woman) - United States

Today, while having sex, my fiancé started talking dirty. I enjoyed it, until he had a brain fart and said, "God, you love fucking my pussy." FML

#21364648
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29453) - you deserved it (3150)

On 02/27/2015 at 2:37pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I won a pool game against some guy. His friends started mocking him for getting his ass whooped by a pregnant girl who couldn't even lean over the table. He got mad, swung his pool stick at them, missed, and hit me right in the face. FML

#21364532
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30) - you deserved it (2420)

On 02/27/2015 at 10:29am - misc - by MCForty (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, as I was about to have sex with my husband, I said I wanted to "spice things up." Apparently, our ideas weren't the same. He yanked my nipples as hard as he could and said, "Yeah, you like that?" FML

#21364342
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31002) - you deserved it (5935)

On 02/27/2015 at 12:28am - intimacy - by milked (woman) - United States



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