Today, I'm a horse trainer and I started working with a lady's horse. After two hours of hard work and sweat, me and the horse in question are tired and I tell her I'll be back tomorrow. I get to the part where she's supposed to pay me and she says, "Oh! I thought this was free!?" FML

Today, my social anxiety got so bad that my 12 yr old daughter had to get in the driver's seat to order from the drive-thru. FML

by Anonymous / 09/12/2016 at 10:55pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, at the end of my 10-hour shift, my manager made me count exactly how many business cards were left in inventory before I could leave. She didn't believe me when the number came to exactly 3000. She made me count them all again. FML

by Weddingbelles / 09/12/2016 at 11:52am / United States (Missouri) / Work

Today, my dandruff got so bad that when I sneezed on the bus, it created a "blizzard" of dandruff, covering me, and two others in it. I'm now known as "Winter Wonderland". FML

by Walking in a Winter Wonderland / 09/12/2016 at 6:51am / United States (Florida) / Health

Today, I accidentally mooed during sex. FML

by harambae / 09/11/2016 at 1:10pm / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy

Today, my colon got perforated during a routine colonoscopy. Apparently, it's a rare complication and I have no legal recourse. So now I'll need to use a colostomy bag for the next 6 months until I can get surgery to fix their mistake. FML

by Anonymous / 09/11/2016 at 1:52am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Health

Today, I was taking a quiz online called "Do Your Friends Actually Like You?" I quit after two questions because I remembered I don't actually have any friends. FML

Today, my boyfriend of 6 years broke up with me via a Whatsapp group. FML

by mkonda / 09/10/2016 at 1:11pm / India / Love

Today, my best friend texted me and told me she broke up with her boyfriend. Trying to be supportive, I sent a long message about how he never deserved her and that I was there for her if she needed someone to vent to. She replied, "Are you high?" FML

by indefiniteforest / 09/10/2016 at 12:11am / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found nudes on my boyfriend's phone. We've been together 14 years. They weren't of me. FML

by AloneAgainNaturally / 09/09/2016 at 5:03pm / United States (Virginia) / Love

Today, my babysitter told me to find a replacement, so I tried to bribe her into staying by offering her a raise. She told me that the money would be better spent on an exorcist. FML

by MumMatters / 09/09/2016 at 6:26am / Germany (Hamburg) / Kids

Today, I managed to spill Superglue on the one place you absolutely shouldn't spill Superglue. FML

by KittyKat168 / 09/09/2016 at 5:34am / Germany / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend stood me up. At dinner with his parents. FML

by notmyfam / 09/09/2016 at 3:47am / Australia (New South Wales) / Love