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Today, I had horrible diarrhea at work. When I felt the bubbling, I ran to the bathroom. An agonizing bowel movement later, I realized that there was no toilet paper in the stall. Just as I was about to ask a coworker who was in the bathroom for some, the fire alarm went off. FML

#21449227
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26606) - you deserved it (1526)

On 07/29/2015 at 8:57pm - health - by Crap (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I came home to find my mom drunk. She asked me for a hug and then started crying, "Where's my daughter?" I'm her daughter. And her only child, as far as I know. FML

#21449052
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21129) - you deserved it (1363)

On 07/29/2015 at 1:07pm - misc - by roselysunset (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went to a garden party my friend had invited me to. I soon discovered they had seriously downplayed the formality of the event, as I noticed trays of fancy hors d'oeuvres and glasses of champagne lined up on the table. I showed up with Kool Aid and Ritz crackers. FML

#21448484
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24576) - you deserved it (3358)

On 07/28/2015 at 8:22am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Slough)

Today, I found out my pregnant sister has been watching Teen Mom 2 to find out how to be a good parent. FML

#21447950
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27219) - you deserved it (1844)

On 07/27/2015 at 8:58am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I decided to start jogging to keep fit. I was passed about ten times by the same car, carrying four bozos whose vocabulary consisted only of, "TITTIES!" and copious amounts of giggling. FML

Today, my long distance boyfriend got angry because I like touching myself while we sext. It "distracts" me from him. I'm sorry you turn me on. FML

#21447742
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24754) - you deserved it (2418)

On 07/26/2015 at 10:02pm - intimacy - by wot02 (woman) - United States

Today, I had to go to the emergency room in the middle of the night. Even though they know I don't have any money, let alone shoes on my feet, my parents have decided it's far too much trouble to come pick me up because we're on vacation and they want to have fun. FML

#21447671
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22278) - you deserved it (1578)

On 07/26/2015 at 6:47pm - health - by GreatParenting (woman) - United States (Idaho)

Today, I received my replacement debit card in the mail after losing my previous one. I've already lost my new one. FML

#21447012
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11183) - you deserved it (26673)

On 07/25/2015 at 12:55pm - money - by Again (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, my grandma and I went shopping. When I picked up some shower gel, she started ranting in front of everyone that shower gel injures one's "lady parts" and causes infertility, and that she wants me to give her great-grandchildren. FML

#21446839
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23351) - you deserved it (1635)

On 07/25/2015 at 1:30am - misc - by for fuck's sake, gran (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my boyfriend gave me serious shit because I couldn't name 10 Pokémon. He said he even considered dumping me. Glad to know he has his priorities straight. FML

Today, I was on a date, and I tried breaking the ice by telling him my best joke. He laughed hysterically for a good 10 seconds, started beating the table with his fist, then suddenly went deadpan and said "No, seriously, you're a moron. Screw this date." FML

#21446581
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27056) - you deserved it (2756)

On 07/24/2015 at 2:54pm - misc - by HAIL SITHIS (woman) - United States

Today, I lost out on a job opportunity because the interviewer said my "fake fangs are unprofessional and frankly disturbing". The "fangs" are my real canines, and they have always looked this way. FML

#21446532
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24637) - you deserved it (1533)

On 07/24/2015 at 1:24pm - work - by (-,..,-) (woman) - France

Today, I had to explain to my boss that I was late to work because somehow my hand slipped when I was brushing my teeth, and I hit myself in the eye with the brush. I had to remove my contacts, wash my eye, and find my glasses. He didn't believe me, but at least my eye is minty fresh. FML

#21446192
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22403) - you deserved it (2086)

On 07/23/2015 at 8:12pm - work - by sarika (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)



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