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Today, a guy attacked me and tried to steal my bag. I tried to defend myself by biting him as hard as I could. I then woke up to my husband screaming in pain. FML

#21360466
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32984) - you deserved it (3904)

On 02/21/2015 at 3:28pm - misc - by poncho55 (woman) -

Today, my dad gave my younger brother condoms and a pat on the back, even though he doesn't have a girlfriend. This is after called me a whore after he saw me kissing my long-term boyfriend last week. FML

#21360278
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20) - you deserved it (2641)

On 02/21/2015 at 8:46am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) -

Today, I witnessed the beautiful sight of a tiny baby bird struggling to take flight from its nest. "You can do it," I muttered, which I guess my asswipe of a cat heard as "Quick, go kill that bird and scar me for life, please." FML

#21360123
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28390) - you deserved it (3754)

On 02/20/2015 at 11:25pm - animals - by tulisa (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, some popped-collar wearing shitbird tried to pick me up with the line, "You look like Marilyn Monroe's corpse! Wanna fuck?" FML

#21359908
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29730) - you deserved it (2484)

On 02/20/2015 at 4:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend commented on one of his his ex-girlfriend's Facebook photos, saying how smoking hot she looks and how much he wants her. His excuse was that the photo was posted before he was with me, so he's clearly doing nothing wrong. FML

Today, I found a phone in a fitting room. I called the number that said "home" to let the owner know that I was going to give it to the store's manager. Apparently the husband didn't know his wife was out shopping and "blowing all his earnings". FML

#21359482
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28224) - you deserved it (2236)

On 02/19/2015 at 10:16pm - money - by Enslaved (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my attention-seeking, insanely thick co-worker explained that due to her new diet she can't eat bread. She "can eat pizza" though. When we pointed out that they’re pretty much made of the same ingredients, she wouldn’t believe us. I sit right behind this idiot every day. FML

#21359143
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29667) - you deserved it (2346)

On 02/19/2015 at 10:47am - work - by Vercsi (woman) - United Kingdom (Newcastle upon Tyne)

Today, I was at a family gathering with my boyfriend. Jokingly, my grandmother swatted my butt to get me to move. Out of habit, I moaned quite loudly. FML

#21358985
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7) - you deserved it (30756)

On 02/19/2015 at 12:45am - intimacy - by heymacie (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, while working at my salon, I was cutting an older gentleman's hair. When he got up to leave, everyone noticed he had clearly pissed his pants. I felt bad for him until he laughed and said, "Here's your tip, have fun cleaning that up." FML

#21358633
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31732) - you deserved it (2063)

On 02/18/2015 at 2:48pm - work - by breyn (woman) - United States

Today, I told my cousin that I would gladly help him through the loss of my aunt. That is until he started flirting with me. FML

#21358332
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29330) - you deserved it (2271)

On 02/17/2015 at 11:02pm - misc - by whateven333 (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I took my boyfriend to a family dinner. Not an hour later, I walked in on my sister giving him a handjob in her room. And what's worse, my first reaction was just to wonder why he'd bother cheating on me for just a handjob. FML

#21358057
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38913) - you deserved it (3085)

On 02/17/2015 at 2:17pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, a homeless guy told me I looked like shit and to have some self-respect. Right. FML

#21358017
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27253) - you deserved it (3939)

On 02/17/2015 at 1:23pm - misc - by trolls have hit the gutters (woman) - United Kingdom (Durham)



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