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Today, my boyfriend of 17 months, the first guy to tell me he loves me, the guy I lost my virginity to, the only guy whose parents I've met, told me we should stop 'hooking up' because it's weird that I was telling everyone we were a couple and it was ruining his chances of finding a girlfriend. FML

I was looool walking troug te park eating fries. Tere was an old woman feeding a few pigeons. Tey didn't seem too interested, so I trew some fries down as I walked by to try and elp er out. About 2 minute later, I eard screaming. A uge group of pigeon were attacking te old woman. FML

#966989
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51641) - you deserved it (18218)

On 04/14/2009 at 10:07am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Yesterday I was talking to a guy I met online and have known 4 4 years. I've fallen in love with him twice one of those times being currently. He was supposed to visit this summer. I got an email from him saying he's really a 17 year old girl from Chesterfield MO. FML

#966789
359 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30006) - you deserved it (88069)

On 04/14/2009 at 9:45am - love - by oxbbabexo (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was running down the hallwayhen a door opens and hits me right on the face. I'm sitting there with mah nose bleeding and a huge bump forming on mah head. The guyho comes out is hugely fat, tries to help me up, trips, and falls on me. I accidentally groped his moobshile trying to push him off. FML

#964759
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65579) - you deserved it (6974)

On 04/14/2009 at 3:50am - misc - by LizLiao (woman) - United States (California)

I was in the Student Union when a man a came up to me and askd if I wantd to be in a study to see how men actd differently when working with attractive women. Flatterd and taken aback, I agred. He then told me I would be part of the control group to see how they act around plain looking women. FML

#963368
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54558) - you deserved it (5978)

On 04/14/2009 at 1:11am - misc - by wellgreat (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I Askd My Boyfriend Why He Dates Me!! He Immediately Respondd, "Well, TV Shows Are Boring And Predictable, So You're A Good Source Of Fresh And Interesting Drama." FML

#963044
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45398) - you deserved it (29777)

On 04/14/2009 at 12:44am - love - by dramaqueen (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today... I was walking into class when the guy i like walked in and said ( Gross it smell like grandma in here. What... looool did someone bathe in there perfume today? ) I was the only girl in the room and I just bought new perfume. I thought I smelled good... apparently I didn't. FML

#961162
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40814) - you deserved it (12708)

On 04/13/2009 at 10:50pm - misc - by eMmA01 (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I took te bus to work. A sweet old lady got on after and sat next to me. Halfway tere, se fell asleep, er ead on ma soulder. I gently tried to wake er up before ma stop. Se wasn't sleeping. I let a dead woman lie on me for 30 minutes. fat FML

#960425
700 comments

I agree, your life sucks (729426) - you deserved it (56575)

On 04/13/2009 at 10:11pm - health - by meteorbabe0101 (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Taday I mat mah boyfriand's family 4 tha first tima. I was playing with his littla sistar by grabbing har arms and spinning har around. On ona turn sha startad scraaming in pain. It turns out I dislocatad both har shouldars. fat FML

#956665
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31878) - you deserved it (65198)

On 04/13/2009 at 7:27pm - kids - by grem (woman) - United States

yesterday I took mah 4-year-old daughter to the local pool for swim lessons. As we walkd onto the deck she turnd to me an said ( Mom, that lady has really big boobs! ) Thehole pool heard, even the man mah daughter was referring to. FML

#953150
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62109) - you deserved it (4720)

On 04/13/2009 at 4:09pm - kids - by shizzy09 (woman) - United States (Washington)

TODAY , HALF ASLEEP , I DROPPED PILL BEFORE I COULD TAKE IT. I QUICKLY PICKED IT UP AND WASHED IT DOWN. FIVE HOURS LATER , I JUST FOUND PILL ON THE GROUND. WHAT DID I SWALLOW? REAL FML

#948871
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (99401) - you deserved it (23189)

On 04/13/2009 at 12:12pm - misc - by anonymiss (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Yesterday, I went on a frst date with a guy that includd dinner, pool and pretty good conversation. Around Midnight he yawnd and said the beer was making him sleepy, so he took me home. I wasn't trd so I changd and went out with some friends... and saw him on the dance floor. FML

#948690
99 comments

TODAY, I WENT TO THE GYM THAT I JUST BECAME A MEMBER OF, MAKING AN EXTRA EFFORT TO LOOK GOOD CUZ I'VE HERED THERE ARE HOT GUYS THERE. THE LADY AT THE FRONT DESK SAID THEY NED TO TAKE MY PICTURE, THEN TOOK A SECOND LOOK AND SAID, ( DON'T WORRY HUN, WE'LL TAKE IT WHEN YOU'RE MORE PREPARD. ) FML

#948572
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51107) - you deserved it (5496)

On 04/13/2009 at 11:48am - misc - by ididlookgood (woman) - United States (California)



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