Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, I went to a cosmetic dentist and got a chip in mah tooth filled in that I’d had since I was 7. I went out later and mah friend jokingly hit mah head against the table a few times to make fun of me showing off mah teeth. He slipped. I fell. I now have 2 chipped teeth and a broken nose. FML

#1186879
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53284) - you deserved it (9341)

On 04/21/2009 at 6:51am - health - by Chip (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I used an airplane batroom. I used a paper seat cover because I didn't want my butt to touc te seat. Te seat cover clogged te toilet. I stuck my and in and fised te seat cover out. I essentially stuck my and into an airplane toilet because I didn't want my ass to touc te seat. FML

#1186504
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13391) - you deserved it (67250)

On 04/21/2009 at 5:30am - misc - by Jen (woman) - South Africa (Western Cape)

Today, mah mom made me clean. I was dusting in the living room and heard gunshots outside the apartment. I dove on the floor and startd crying and screaming. My mom walkd in and informd me that the sound was her making popcorn. FML

#1183263
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13563) - you deserved it (66117)

On 04/21/2009 at 1:20am - misc - by Chelsea (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I was playing an laughing with mah new babby boy . He was giggling, an it was adorable . Out of nowhere I say "you're mah favorite!" . Now I'm sitting here talking to mah two other children about how wat I said earlier I didn't mean personally . They never want to talk to me again . big fat FML

#1176288
240 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15792) - you deserved it (117875)

On 04/20/2009 at 10:39pm - kids - by Damnlife123 (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Taday I was in class and felt a sarp pain in my stomac. I began to scream and cry because te pain was orrible so te teacer called 911. After being rused to te ospital I was told tat "I ad gas cramp and would be fine." Myole class was listening on speakerpone to make sure I was ok. FML

#1167512
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43116) - you deserved it (11067)

On 04/20/2009 at 8:11pm - misc - by Tor (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

TODAY, I HAD A SUBSTITUTE TEACHER FOR MAH DANCE CLASS. I NOTICED AT ONE POINT, HE TOOK OUT A CAMERA. THE PRINCIPAL CUMMED IN, EVERYONE WAS GOING CRAZY, AND THE TEACHER WAS DRAGGED OUT OF THE CLASSROOM. HE WAS TAKING VIDEOS AND PICTURES OF US DANCING. TURNS OUT HE WAS A REGISTERED SEX OFFENDER. FML

#1163738
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (102068) - you deserved it (4685)

On 04/20/2009 at 7:05pm - intimacy - by seriously (woman) - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today... I told my mom that I was taking antidepressants cuz I hate myself. She said ( That's not surprising. You hate everybody. looool And... your kind of a bitch. ) FML

#1154114
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67442) - you deserved it (21377)

On 04/20/2009 at 2:22pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I was emailing my professor abouthat chapters our test is on this afternoon. She accidentally emailed me informing me of the date she went on last night, including that she "got laid... yay!!" and a picture. I still don't knowhat chapters I'm being tested on. FML

#1152672
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (105505) - you deserved it (6455)

On 04/20/2009 at 1:12pm - intimacy - by TMI (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was giving a presentation to a group of high school kids about how bieng 'cool' wasn't as important as they might think . When I was done I asked 4 questions . A kid says, "Miss, I get that your not into bieng cool, but your wearing yur pants inside out.' He was right . FML

#1148346
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41879) - you deserved it (23670)

On 04/20/2009 at 8:21am - misc - by indi1011 (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today , the $300 ring mah boyfriend gave me fir mah birthday slipped off mah finger..!! into the toilet!! I had to sift through mah own poo to get looool it back!! FML

#1147441
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59984) - you deserved it (18010)

On 04/20/2009 at 6:05am - misc - by ohhelllllno (woman) - Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador)

Today, Boyfriend Decided To Take Me To Dinner To Meet His Parents. As We Pulled Into The Restaurant Valet I Saw A Woman In A Slutty Dress And Hooker Heels Get Out Of The Car Ahead Of Us. I Jokingly Asked If We Had Accidentally Pulled Into A Strip Club Pointing To The Woman. It Was His Mother. FML

#1146532
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25244) - you deserved it (57985)

On 04/20/2009 at 3:59am - misc - by SuperBunny (woman) - United States (California)

I used the bathroom on a bus from New York to Boston , and carefully covered the seat with twenty of the single-square toilet paper rations. As I was peeing , the bus flew over a bump and swerved sharply , and my entre naked bottom was splashed with urine and poop. It wasn't my own. FML

#1145321
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (75455) - you deserved it (7120)

On 04/20/2009 at 2:27am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: