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Today, I was in the grocery store buying a few things. A sales associate came over the intercom system saying, "Attention Safeway customers. If you drive a blue Subaru, it's rolling into 18th Ave." Everyone laughed except me. I forgot to set the brake. FML

#1582380
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18471) - you deserved it (44802)

On 05/03/2009 at 1:35am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my 6 year old granddaughter was sitting on my lap playing with the rings on my fingers. After a moment, she pointed to a gold ring with many jewels and said, "When you die can I have that one?" FML

#1579657
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57532) - you deserved it (3843)

On 05/03/2009 at 12:16am - kids - by itswhateverr (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, during lunch at school, a wave of nausea came over me. I ran to the bathroom and made it just in time. As I was throwing up, I set off the toilet's automatic flush and my vomit came flying back into my face. FML

#1558068
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64391) - you deserved it (4716)

On 05/02/2009 at 1:05pm - health - by sicktomystomach (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went to a fast-food joint and ordered off the $1.00 menu to save money. Five hours later I go to the hospital with food-poisoning. After a whole day of not eating, crapping, puking, having tests, and a bunch of IV fluids, my $1.00 burger ended up costing me $2,000 in bills. Really. FML

#1547778
422 comments

I agree, your life sucks (164329) - you deserved it (25193)

On 05/02/2009 at 12:56am - health - by Sick (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I went to the doctor for a checkup. The doctor went through the normal questions, then paused for a moment and jotted something down. Later when I got back my report from the checkup, I noticed that the doctor had checked the "no" box by "sexually active." She didn't even ask me that. FML

#1536104
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (77606) - you deserved it (5782)

On 05/01/2009 at 8:05pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, at the awards ceremony at my school, I ended up winning the top achievement award in my grade. The principal spent at least ten minutes talking about my success to the audience, the whole time referring to me as a "he" as I stood right next to him. I'm a girl. FML

#1535605
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (78032) - you deserved it (5042)

On 05/01/2009 at 7:48pm - misc - by smartgirl (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I did my laundry in my dorm. After dragging 2 hampers down 4 flights of stairs, my ID card with money on it was rejected. After dragging it back upstairs, I scrounged up enough quarters from friends. 30 minutes after finally starting my laundry, I realized I forgot to add detergent. FML

#1530286
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23547) - you deserved it (45145)

On 05/01/2009 at 5:15pm - health - by CollegeGirl (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I forgot my inhaler. I had an asthma attack and had to go to the ER. The doctors told me it wasn't an asthma attack. It was just a panic attack from worrying about whether I would get an asthma attack. FML

#1529921
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60475) - you deserved it (17426)

On 05/01/2009 at 5:07pm - health - by jlover42 (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I rolled down the windows in my car. When I tried to roll up the passenger side window, it was stuck. Rain was coming so I freaked out and brought it to the dealership to get it fixed. The man pushed the child safety lock button and the entire garage erupted in laughter. FML

#1525819
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11828) - you deserved it (57461)

On 05/01/2009 at 2:42pm - misc - by KMilly (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was laying in bed naked and blindfolded. I told my boyfriend he could do anything he wanted to me. About 30 minutes later I get out of bed and find him in the computer room play World of Warcraft. His friends needed him. FML

#1524498
393 comments

I agree, your life sucks (89888) - you deserved it (14060)

On 05/01/2009 at 1:40pm - intimacy - by chelle (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I had woken up very excited to celebrate my 21st birthday. I roll over in bed and ask my boyfriend if we can go out to the park to have a picnic, considering the lovely weather. He looked up at me and said, "You wish I loved you that much." He rolled back over and slept until 3 p.m. FML

#1520642
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (79128) - you deserved it (8514)

On 05/01/2009 at 10:17am - love - by Anon (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I found out my girlfriend of 5 years cheated on me. When confronted she told me, "I didn't get wet so it wasn't cheating." FML

#1518333
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (83525) - you deserved it (4977)

On 05/01/2009 at 5:50am - intimacy - by amiadori (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I paid 11 dollars to see the new Wolverine movie. I arrived an hour early and waited patiently for the movie to start. 3 minutes before it began, a drunk guy stumbled in and took the last empty seat in the theater... next to me. He talked to me the whole movie. FML



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