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Today, I was walking to find a public toilet in a Chinese village. While looking for the women's restroom, I stepped on a thin sheet of plastic. I fell into the toilet's waste collection area and found myself knee-deep in the villagers' faeces. FML

#1897379
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66997) - you deserved it (5340)

On 05/13/2009 at 5:49am - misc - by pooped (woman) - China (Beijing)

Today, I rode my bike to the store because I only had a few things to pick up. When I walked back out after five minutes, my bike was stolen. I had gone to the store to buy a new bike lock. FML

#1881750
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43429) - you deserved it (11473)

On 05/12/2009 at 7:11pm - misc - by getyourownbike (woman) - United States

Today, I flew home from college to see my parents. Later I found the expensive painting and hand-made necklace I mailed to my mom for mother's day while taking out the trash. FML

#1877583
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56675) - you deserved it (2696)

On 05/12/2009 at 4:58pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I had all four of my wisdom teeth extracted. Under anesthesia I told the dentist my entire love life and drug history in detail. FML

#1877566
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55928) - you deserved it (13632)

On 05/12/2009 at 4:56pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, not wanting to be known as a lightweight anymore, I started drinking with some guy friends. After one beer I ended up in bed with one of them who kindly put my bra back on for me after, as I was too sloshed. I'm no longer known as lightweight, but instead, the slutty drunk. FML

#1869904
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11862) - you deserved it (78563)

On 05/12/2009 at 10:23am - misc - by Permafucked (woman) - United States (South Dakota)

Today, I spent hours baking a multi-layered, detailed cake from scratch for my mom's birthday. It took two seconds for my dog to devour the cake while I picked up a spoon I dropped on the floor. FML

#1868232
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51172) - you deserved it (6202)

On 05/12/2009 at 7:16am - animals - by babyboomerang (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I went out to a nice restaurant for my friend's birthday. I went to the bathroom and heard the woman in the other stall crying. She couldn't pull her underwear up over her obese, old-lady ass because her arms don't reach that far anymore. I was the only one there. I had no choice. FML

#1866535
385 comments

I agree, your life sucks (75294) - you deserved it (10848)

On 05/12/2009 at 3:19am - health - by bathroomseww (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was babysitting a really bratty little girl. She came and cuddled up on the couch so I took it as an apology. I feel asleep while she was sitting with me and when I woke up she had peed on me. She locked herself in her room and was laughing about peeing on me for discipling her. FML

#1861801
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54273) - you deserved it (6874)

On 05/11/2009 at 11:43pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I got my wisdom teeth out. Due to the drugs they gave me I felt nauseous. When I went to the bathroom as a precaution I did not throw up. Instead I passed out face first in the toilet. FML

#1847078
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44353) - you deserved it (2804)

On 05/11/2009 at 4:37pm - health - by anon (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, it's the five year anniversary of my father's death. I was cuddling with my boyfriend and crying about how much I missed him. He replied with, "Sometimes, I think you just like to hear yourself talk." FML

#1845741
319 comments

I agree, your life sucks (85347) - you deserved it (10033)

On 05/11/2009 at 3:46pm - misc - by bezoar10 (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, after a long day of working on my feet, I came home looking forward to soaking my aching feet in a foot spa. When I was pulling the machine out of a closet, it slipped and came crashing down on my feet. It broke. So did three of my toes. FML

#1842367
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47388) - you deserved it (3917)

On 05/11/2009 at 1:14pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador)

Today, I took my lunch break to buy my mom a pretty orchid. I took it to her apartment (to which I have a key), placed it on her coffee table with her card, and went back to work, pleased with my surprise. She called me later to ask why I got her a stick in a pot of dirt. Her cat ate the orchid. FML

Today, my mom told me to follow her car closely to my aunt's house. I kept really close to her which caused me to get pulled over for tailgating. I explained everything to the cop so he went over to my mom to see if that was the truth. My mom said she didn't know me. I got a ticket. Thanks mom. FML

#1828109
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (74818) - you deserved it (4998)

On 05/10/2009 at 8:55pm - misc - by newdriver (woman) - United States (New Jersey)



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