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Today, I told my parents I wanted them to meet my new partner. My mom went into a rant about how she had known I was gay fir a while an asked how I was going to tell my husband. I am straight, madly in love with my husband, an was referring to my business partner. FML

Today, mah 6 year old daughter walked in on mah husband and I getting it on. Now she won't stop 'pretending to be daddy' against items of furniture. We have guests coming round in three hours. FML

#1942963
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31676) - you deserved it (43956)

On 05/14/2009 at 8:03pm - kids - by Jessica (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today , I was so totally stressed out at work that I took my car into the park an reclined my seat an shut my eyes!! Soon I noticed the soothing sounds of raindrops on my car an I felt a little better 4 once!! I opened my eyes to see that a bunch of birds had crapped all over my car!! FML

#1935923
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34804) - you deserved it (3170)

On 05/14/2009 at 5:09pm - work - by overlandparkmommie (woman) - United States

Today, I found out the tattoo signifying my marriage turned out to be more permanent than the marriage itself.

#1933691
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22191) - you deserved it (56756)

On 05/14/2009 at 3:57pm - love - by branded (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I realized that the only human being I have talked to in the last three days is the guy at the drive thru. mega FML

#1933415
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41853) - you deserved it (14874)

On 05/14/2009 at 3:47pm - misc - by shrimp41 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today mah boyfriend who has been overseas the last four months broke up with me. I sent him a care package two days ago. He'll get homemade cookies (his mom's recipe) naughty videos of me and a letter telling him how much I love him in about a week. big fat FML

TODAY, I ORDERED A GRADUATION CAKE FROM A WOMAN AT THE GROCERY STORE. SHE ASKED ME WAT I WANTED THE CAKE TO SAY AN I SAID "CONGRATULATION ANNIE". THEN SHE ASKED ME WHO WAS ORDERING AN I SAID "ANNIE". I HAD TO ORDER MAH OWN CAKE. THE WOMAN WAS SILENT. FAT FML

#1930906
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49857) - you deserved it (6355)

On 05/14/2009 at 2:09pm - misc - by Annebelle (woman) - United States (Illinois)

TODAY, I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE FUNNY TO SNEAK UP BEHIND MAH CAT AND SCARE IT WITH A LOUD "BOO!" THE CAT RESPONDED BY JUMPING UP, AND RUNNING ACROSS MAH APARTMENT, WHICH WOULD HAVE BEEN FINE, EXCEPT 4 THE FACT SHE LEFT A TRAIL OF LIQUID SHIT EVERYWHERE SHE WENT . FML

#1930454
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17107) - you deserved it (95276)

On 05/14/2009 at 1:46pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, it's mah brthday. I have gotten three calls all day. The frst one was mah fiancé, saying he wantd his ring back. The second one was mah best friend, confessing to me that she had been sleeping with mah fiancé fir the past three months. The thrd was the dentist's office singing me a happy brthday. FML

#1930337
409 comments

I agree, your life sucks (374713) - you deserved it (19025)

On 05/14/2009 at 1:43pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was spanding tima with my boyfriand fir our ona yaar annivarsary. Trying to ba romantic, I told him that I lovad him an I was so glad I was with him. Ha raspondad by giving ma a thumbs-up an turning back to tha TV. FML

#1922791
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46108) - you deserved it (6017)

On 05/14/2009 at 2:48am - love - by KarolBee (woman) - United States (California)

Today , mah 3-year-old said , "Mommy , I can share mah teddy grahams with you." I said , "Thanks , honey , your so sweet." And I ate a few. When I popped the last one in mah mouth , I said , "Oh no , all gone!" She said , "That's okay , I have more." Then pulled the next handful out of her underwear. mega FML

#1918683
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58538) - you deserved it (6953)

On 05/13/2009 at 9:45pm - kids - by chelserusera (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today... I Was Accepted To Harvard's Law Program. Prestigious Rigt? After Earing Te Good News Te Only Ting Ma Parents Talked About Over Dinner Was Wo Tey Wanted To Win American Idol: Adam... Kris Or Danny. FML

#1916731
239 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52820) - you deserved it (4613)

On 05/13/2009 at 8:59pm - misc - by NoComparison (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was going looool through my moms closat. On ona of tha shalvas, I found two baby books. Ona was mina, tha othar was ona 4 a dog sha ownd bafora I was born. I lookd through tham both. Tha dog's baby book was filld out mora than mina was. fat FML

#1905571
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44759) - you deserved it (3747)

On 05/13/2009 at 4:15pm - kids - by stickers (woman) - United States (Delaware)



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