Today, I found out that my friend uses pictures of me to motivate her to work out. They are accompanied by sayings such as "you don't want to turn out like this." FML

by Anonymous / 11/09/2009 at 12:47am / New Zealand (Auckland) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend tried to be romantic by dipping me backwards and kissing me. He dropped me on my butt and stepped on my hand while trying to help me up. FML

by alltern8ive / 11/09/2009 at 12:05am / United States (Louisiana) / Love

Today, I was in line at the store behind a lady and her young daughter. Trying to be polite I smiled at the little girl. She burst into tears asking her mommy 'what is wrong with that ladies teeth'. Apparently braces on a 25 year old is not 'kid friendly'. FML

by itsjustmyluck / 11/08/2009 at 11:37pm / United States (California) / Kids

Today, my boyfriend of 2 years told me he had feelings for someone else. He also told me he wanted to continue dating me until things progressed further with the other woman. FML

by toughlove / 11/08/2009 at 8:27pm / United States (Ohio) / Love

Today, I fell down a set of stairs while going into my basement. With a horrible pain in my left leg, I called out to my boyfriend to help me. Apparently a commercial about grass was more important. FML

by Elizabeh / 11/08/2009 at 5:38pm / Canada (Saskatchewan) / Health

Today, I got home from a small vacation. Before I left, I set up cameras in my room to see if my roommate was stealing my money. Turns out she wasn't. However, she does borrow my personal "adult toy" whenever I'm out. FML

by grossedout / 11/08/2009 at 4:11pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy

Today, I was at a petting zoo with my boyfriend. A guy that worked there said he'd take a picture of me with a mouse on my head. He reassured me that this mouse was trained. I agreed. Once the mouse got on my head, it peed. Turns out the guy didn't work there after all. FML

by Poopyhead / 11/08/2009 at 2:14pm / Ireland (Cork) / Health

Today, my ex told me she still misses having sex with me. Her next text was "but it's still over." FML

by peacexout108 / 11/08/2009 at 1:16pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, I was waiting at home for a phone call. While I was in the bathroom, the phone rang. I quickly stopped my business and ran out of the bathroom with my pants by my ankles. I leaped over the couch, tripping and then stubbing my toe while hopping to the phone. It was a telemarketer. FML

by lauren_rox / 11/08/2009 at 12:50pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was walking through the store when I saw a little boy point to me and say something to his mom. I was out of earshot at the time, but I got close enough just in time to hear the mom reply, "God says we have to love everyone, even if they're ugly." FML

by Anonymous / 11/08/2009 at 8:53am / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, It was pretty nice out, so I decided to walk to work. Not twenty minutes after leaving, it started to pour. I was soaking when I got there and had to change. My boyfriend works next door, so I asked him if he could give me a ride. His reply? "Sorry Babe, I just can't be seen with you like that." FML

by MissBeEyeTeeSeeH / 11/08/2009 at 6:46am / Canada (British Columbia) / Love

Today, I went to the movies with the guy I have been in love with for a long time. I laid my head on his shoulder and he held my hand throughout the movie. Afterwards he asked me for advice on the girl he likes. Apparently she isn't talking to him anymore. FML

by SkySkyChan / 11/08/2009 at 5:36am / United States (Florida) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my dad drove me to work which is an hour away. 20 minutes into the job, I was told 'Didn't we tell you last week? We let you go.' Clearly, no, they didn't. I had to wait one awkward hour, with my colleagues who knew I was fired before I did, for my dad to collect me. FML

by FML / 11/08/2009 at 5:07am / United Kingdom (Hampshire) / Work