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Today, there was a parents bike race on the track at my high school for a fundraiser. My dad entered, and ended up winning. He did his victory dance with a massive erection showing through his spandex. Just about all of my friends, teachers, other parents, and the hot soccer team saw. FML

#2501660
293 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60297) - you deserved it (3552)

On 06/01/2009 at 3:13pm - intimacy - by biker2012 (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I got an invitation to my ex-boyfriend's wedding. We broke up because "he didn't believe in marriage." FML

#2501509
256 comments

I agree, your life sucks (74966) - you deserved it (4464)

On 06/01/2009 at 3:08pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was working as a waitress at this pub. It was dead. After 4 hours I had only made 5$ in tips. A friendly couple came in and complimented EVERYTHING down to the freshness of the lemons in their tea. The bill came to $50. They left me a $5 gift card to starbucks. I don't drink coffee. FML

#2501090
288 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43795) - you deserved it (6958)

On 06/01/2009 at 2:49pm - misc - by Kitty (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was talking this guy I'm dating and stated that the only reason I am with him is because of what he buys me. I was joking. He then responded that he doesn't care because the only reason he is with me is because I give good head. He was serious. FML

#2499784
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21095) - you deserved it (61432)

On 06/01/2009 at 1:47pm - intimacy - by sweet_02 (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, three women came into my work and one was wearing a shirt with a rainbow that said, "We are everywhere". I had just gotten what it was referring to and when I greeted them I ended up saying "Hi gays!" instead of the standard "Hi guys". FML

#2494614
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18736) - you deserved it (47066)

On 06/01/2009 at 6:46am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I met my boyfriend in Hong Kong after being apart for almost 6 months. We got to our room and got right down to business. I was just about to come when a voice came over the PA system in the room. "This is just a fire alarm test, sorry for any inconvenience." FML

#2492731
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50766) - you deserved it (5413)

On 06/01/2009 at 3:06am - intimacy - by frustrated (woman) - Hong Kong

Today, I asked my mom if I could join my friends in getting lessons in self defense. My mom told me that I didn't need them because my face was a better weapon to repel anyone. FML

#2492711
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67213) - you deserved it (4963)

On 06/01/2009 at 3:05am - misc - by anonymous (woman) - Korea Republic of (Seoul-t'ukpyolsi)

Today, my fiancé and I were cuddling in bed talking about our future wedding coming up. He leaned over seductively to tell me he got a present for me to ‘use’ on our wedding day. It was a pack of breath mints. FML

#2491424
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41428) - you deserved it (10364)

On 06/01/2009 at 1:55am - love - by thanksbaby (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I pulled up to the stoplight near my house. It was dark with no traffic and the car behind me kept edging closer and closer to me. I finally got fed up with waiting and the car and ran it. In fact, it was a cop and he was trying to read my license plate because the back light was out. FML

#2490084
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9142) - you deserved it (49548)

On 06/01/2009 at 1:10am - misc - by PulledOver (woman) - United States

Today, I was in the park for a walk when a ball rolled to my feet. Figuring it belonged to the kids not far off, I wound back and kicked. The ball had actually been kicked by someone else for their dog to chase and I ended up punting it in the head. FML

#2489611
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14588) - you deserved it (35371)

On 06/01/2009 at 12:50am - money - by steph (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was walking down the sidewalk and heard a little girl ask her dad why I had blue hair. He said, "Sometimes drugs will make people do stupid things." FML

#2485875
301 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41690) - you deserved it (37076)

On 05/31/2009 at 11:12pm - misc - by bluehairedfreakgirl (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was cleaning out my bedside table when I came across some condoms I bought on my 18th birthday, to use the first time I had sex. They expired five years ago. I'm still waiting for my first time. FML

#2471479
244 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69679) - you deserved it (11492)

On 05/31/2009 at 5:10pm - intimacy - by fmeplease (woman) - United Kingdom (Kent)

Today, I woke up and my husband said he got me a gift for our 1 year anniversary and it was on the table. We laid around cuddling and when I finally got up I was expecting to walk out to beautiful bouquet of flowers. I got two pack of cigarettes. FML

#2465572
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43218) - you deserved it (9790)

On 05/31/2009 at 2:07pm - love - by sadwife (woman) - United States (Illinois)



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