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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, none of my 500 Facebook friends responded to my status about "who wants to hang out during summer holidays?" I created an imaginary person on a different account to respond and ask me to hang out with him. I had a conversation on my status, with myself. FML

#2232704
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54640) - you deserved it (42566)

On 05/24/2009 at 2:43am - misc - by ineedalifekay (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, a waiter came up and and put out his hand so I gave him a high five and pounded it. He then says, "Um, that was a nice high five but I wanted your plate." FML

#2230053
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11695) - you deserved it (56556)

On 05/24/2009 at 1:01am - misc - by Clueless (woman) - United States

Today, I got into a huge fight with my boyfriend. I called him and started yelling at him over the phone. He told me that if I wanted to end the relationship I should just hang up the phone right then. Before I could say I still love him and don't want to break up, my phone battery died. FML

#2228533
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (98022) - you deserved it (23509)

On 05/24/2009 at 12:14am - love - by noboyfriend (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was lying on the couch with my boyfriend and was feeling tired, so I got a soda. I sat back down and surprised him with a passionate kiss. I also surprised him when I suddenly burped right into his mouth. FML

#2228534
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18140) - you deserved it (43211)

On 05/24/2009 at 12:14am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I took my grandma to the hospital to visit her estranged husband who she hasn't seen in years. After a thoroughly disasterous visit, we're waiting in the carpark and my gran strokes my face and tells me I have a lot of facial hair. I thought she was going to thank me. And I'm a girl. FML

#2223599
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39492) - you deserved it (3518)

On 05/23/2009 at 9:41pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went into work happy about my supervising promotion. When I arrived at work, I realized that only one person had decided to come into work today, which meant I had to clean 15 rooms, and supervise myself. FML

#2214094
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36999) - you deserved it (3241)

On 05/23/2009 at 4:20pm - work - by jend (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, after a nap, I went to scratch my eye and felt what I presumed to be a clump of mascara on my eyelash. I didn't wear mascara today. It was a tick. FML

#2213407
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54040) - you deserved it (3361)

On 05/23/2009 at 3:37pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, after being diagnosed with cat allergies, I explained to my cat-loving boyfriend that the doctor strongly recommended not allowing the cat in the bedroom. At 1:30 am my boyfriend got out of the bed to go sleep in the spare room because: "the cat is sad." FML

#2209571
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51816) - you deserved it (8187)

On 05/23/2009 at 12:07pm - love - by Ames (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I was straightening my hair when I heard this crunching, sizzling sound. Taking the flat iron away, I realized that I had just fused a spider to my hair with the heat. FML

#2207384
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60475) - you deserved it (6062)

On 05/23/2009 at 10:03am - animals - by beatricesank (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was leaving work when some creeper start following me. When he asked me for my name, I immediately gave him a fake one. He just laughed and said “I hope to see you soon.” He used my real name. First AND last. I was still wearing my name tag. FML

Today, my family returned from a holiday in Egypt. A holiday that I really wanted to spend with them. As if leaving me behind wasn't bad enough, they then made me watch a 200 picture slideshow of how much fun they had. FML

#2206074
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44053) - you deserved it (3280)

On 05/23/2009 at 7:51am - misc - by MdT (woman) - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, I thought I'd finally make a step towards getting over my ex-fiancé by flirting with a cute waiter. I left him a note on the bill. He comes back, says "which one of you is [name]?" and leans down close to me to say, "Thanks for your note, but your card was declined." FML

#2203706
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46828) - you deserved it (7343)

On 05/23/2009 at 2:43am - love - by Mel (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I decided to tell my mother what I thought about religion. I've been raised catholic. I told her I was converting to Wicca, to which she sort of nodded and walked away. I went into my room to study with my earbuds in, music loud. I walked out to see a cross nailed above my door. FML

#2202679
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37538) - you deserved it (31953)

On 05/23/2009 at 1:50am - misc - by Sigh (woman) - United States (Florida)



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