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Today, I walked in on my boyfriend getting it on with the neighbour's daughter. As soon as he saw me, he started singing 'It Wasn't Me' by Shaggy, completely naked, still sitting with the girl. FML

#4933603
222 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58853) - you deserved it (4700)

On 08/30/2009 at 5:26pm - love - by shaggy (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my friend and I were making sandwiches at his house. His family's dog wandered over just as I dropped a large chunk of cheddar on the floor. The dog snatched it up and ran away with it. I yelled after it, jokingly, that I hoped it would choke and die. It did. FML

#4932229
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29041) - you deserved it (52753)

On 08/30/2009 at 4:17pm - animals - by lily (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was at my favorite Mexican restaurant when I realized my really cute waiter, along with his buddies kept looking at me and smiling. Trying to be cool, I took a bite of my burrito, choked, and spilled ground beef down my new shirt and in my bra. They laughed the whole time. FML

#4929895
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14611) - you deserved it (37159)

On 08/30/2009 at 2:09pm - misc - by pootythe5th (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I had a stressful day at work and decided to go in the jacuzzi. I hadn't used it for a year, so it was a little dirty. After I cleaned it, filled it up, and jumped in, I pressed the jets. Immediately, thousands of dead moths shot out at full speed towards me. FML

#4927406
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56975) - you deserved it (15137)

On 08/30/2009 at 11:23am - misc - by mel (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I had to buy another pair of 'fat jeans', because my old 'fat jeans' became my new 'skinny jeans'. FML

#4926734
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25183) - you deserved it (57305)

On 08/30/2009 at 10:15am - misc - by FML (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I told my boyfriend that my fantasy was for him to eat me out on the dinner table. My boyfriend told me his was me in a Pikachu costume. FML

#4921754
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46082) - you deserved it (9083)

On 08/30/2009 at 1:38am - intimacy - by pokie (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had to explain to my father why most of the bar was giving him dirty looks at a concert. His air guitar motions made it look like he was jacking off under the table. FML

#4921457
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38392) - you deserved it (2884)

On 08/30/2009 at 1:25am - intimacy - by Embarassed (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, after two years of dating, I gave my virginity to my boyfriend on my birthday. It wasn't as all like I dreamed about; I dreamt that I wasn't allergic to latex. FML

Today, my best friend informed me that I could not be her maid of honour because I "wasn't as pretty as the other bridesmaids" and she wanted her wedding photos to have "consistency". FML

#4914313
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54973) - you deserved it (3704)

On 08/29/2009 at 8:39pm - misc - by deadmedia (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, the guy I've been dating tells me that I need to stop hanging on him in public because it's ruining his game with other girls. FML

#4909488
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49323) - you deserved it (5858)

On 08/29/2009 at 4:42pm - love - by Intheway (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was at the park with my new boyfriend. We were sitting between some trees, when some of his mates turned up at the park. He pushed me behind a tree so his mates wouldn't see and went to join them in a game of football. He pretended not to know me. FML

#4908594
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54954) - you deserved it (5075)

On 08/29/2009 at 3:56pm - love - by legallyblondemad (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, I was helping my mom pack for our family vacation. We were both talking about how excited we were, when she turns to me and says, "Would you be offended if I asked you not to come? It's just... I want to have fun." FML

#4907075
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56879) - you deserved it (5354)

On 08/29/2009 at 2:40pm - misc - by Nofun (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)



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