Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, my boyfriend called me explaining that he is getting married this weekend to a woman he met on Craigslist. Why? Because I won't marry him, and he'll make an extra thousand dollars per month having a wife since he is in the army. FML

#3462029
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41710) - you deserved it (11044)

On 07/03/2009 at 7:25pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I was helping my friend with her little sister's birthday party. We were playing a game where you get up and switch seats if you've done a certain thing. One girl said to switch if you've kissed a boy. I watched as 18 12-year-olds switched seats with each other. I stayed sitting. I'm 17. FML

#3457854
282 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47974) - you deserved it (8323)

On 07/03/2009 at 4:09pm - love - by neverbeenkissed (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, at work I had to use the bathroom. I asked my boss to watch my register and quickly walked into the bathroom. I squatted down and peed. A minute later I heard someone ask over our walkie talkie system who was using the bathroom. I had been pressing the intercom button while I peed. FML

#3456831
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30623) - you deserved it (11769)

On 07/03/2009 at 3:19pm - work - by PeePee (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I noticed a string was following behind our family cat. After close inspection I realized it was a plastic kite string he partially digested. I had to pull the other three feet of plastic kite tail from his rectum. He purred the entire time. FML

#3456534
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68499) - you deserved it (4989)

On 07/03/2009 at 3:06pm - animals - by RachelDC (woman) - United States (West Virginia)

Today, I exchanged numbers with this guy in the McDonald's drive-thru. When he asked why I gave him my number I told him I thought he had a nice smile. When I asked him the same question, he responded with "I just thought you had a nice rack". FML

#3453387
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12390) - you deserved it (43349)

On 07/03/2009 at 12:23pm - love - by dreamer2639 (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I woke up early, showered, dressed, and made the 40 minute drive to work, only to discover when I arrived that today was my day off. When I got home my live in boyfriend was gone. I called and he told me he was at the beach, right near my work. FML

#3448245
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32604) - you deserved it (8749)

On 07/03/2009 at 4:01am - work - by wherefelix (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went on an excellent first date. After the 'end of the date kiss' came "I suppose this is where I tell you that I'm married". FML

#3447565
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54347) - you deserved it (4431)

On 07/03/2009 at 3:24am - love - by hannaholic (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I got a job selling knives. I had training for 11 hours. At the end of the training session, the instructor promptly informed everyone that they had to pay $145 for a set of demo knives. I paid the $145. I went home and learned that it was a scam. I went back for a refund. They said no. FML

#3446185
422 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13425) - you deserved it (49981)

On 07/03/2009 at 2:19am - work - by Regina (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was chatting with an amazing guy online. He was perfect for me. After five hours he told me he loved me and I said it back. So than we decided to trade nudes. I sent mine. Within two seconds my niece calls, laughing her ass off, telling me how weird my birthmark is. FML

#3442749
295 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14093) - you deserved it (98964)

On 07/03/2009 at 12:20am - misc - by Uriah (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I went to the gym to lift weights because my arm muscles are pathetic. In order to use a machine, I needed to pull out a knob to adjust the seat setting. After an embarassing struggle, a worker came over and helped me. Turns out I'm not even strong enough to adjust the seat settings. FML

#3440456
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35966) - you deserved it (7058)

On 07/02/2009 at 11:06pm - misc - by Heethersays (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my girlfriend left me. The reason? She's not actually a lesbian. She has been using our relationship to piss off her conservative parents. We've been together for over a year, and I've been in love with her for over five. FML

#3437520
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67087) - you deserved it (7942)

On 07/02/2009 at 9:33pm - love - by heart-broken (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I went to my fiancé's house to have dinner with his family for the first time. Trying to be polite at the end of the meal I went to take the plates in to the kitchen. I overestimated how heavy the half-finished soup pot was, and threw soup all over myself and future mother-in-law. FML

#3435497
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35525) - you deserved it (6205)

On 07/02/2009 at 8:12pm - love - by Damnsoup (woman) - United Kingdom (Stockport)



Mathilde Morieux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Mathilde Morieux's illustrated FML
  • Madonna must be the only person breathing a sigh of relief right now thanks to all the idiots arguing about the colour of a dress. Thanks to a badly-lit photograph, everyone seems to have forgotten that she super…

Friday 27 February 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: