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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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today after mah son's new friend spent the night, I commentd on how his hair had such a straight line in it from one ear to the other. I jokd about how he must have fallen asleep with headphones on, or had bad hat hair. He informd me it was a scar from brain surgery he had when he was younger. FML

#3853046
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13381) - you deserved it (54266)

On 07/18/2009 at 7:26am - misc - by insertfoothere (woman) - United States (California)

Today, husband an I were in bed when the alarm on his phone went off. He then told me that he had to 'sound the horn' an went over to his laptop. Wondering what that meant, I peered over at his laptop. It turns out hunting for mice on Facebook is more important than procreating. big fat FML

#3851520
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33665) - you deserved it (3698)

On 07/18/2009 at 4:15am - love - by Phoebe (woman) - Singapore

Today, I just found out that my current boyfriend an my ex-boyfriend r rooming together at college!! Visits r going to be extremely awkward!! real FML

#3846556
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52194) - you deserved it (6337)

On 07/18/2009 at 12:21am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I found out that my son is really gay. He just told me that so I'd let him have grls in his bedroom. FML

#3842566
435 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36353) - you deserved it (95635)

On 07/17/2009 at 10:00pm - kids - by Pumpkin (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today , I was babysitting a little grl down the street. She pulld out her 'memory box , which containd many childhood treasures. After pulling out a variety of dresse an baby pictures , she says , ( ... an here's mah belly button! ) an plops an umbilical chord in mah hands. FML

#3840283
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50541) - you deserved it (3337)

On 07/17/2009 at 8:12pm - kids - by heresmybellybotton (woman) - United States (Oregon)

2day I looool learnd that evenhen u puttd a sock on the door because u r having sex with yur boyfriend, doesn't mean yur mom won't walk in yur brand new apartment for a ( surprise visit. ) FML

#3838782
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36340) - you deserved it (9409)

On 07/17/2009 at 7:09pm - intimacy - by Alwayshappens2me (woman) - United States (California)

Today... I awoke to ma usband donning a gorilla mask in te middle of te nigt. My kids ave been staying in a tent out back fir looool te past few nigts... and ave complaind of a ( monster ) scaring tem. I told tem tat it was tere imagination. My usband says e gets a kick out of it. FML

#3837360
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46179) - you deserved it (6498)

On 07/17/2009 at 6:02pm - kids - by Divorcemenow (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, mah boyfriend and I exchangd promise rings . I promisd that I would stay committd to him and that he was the only one fir me . He promisd that he would stop seeing other woman behind mah back . He wasn't kidding . fat FML

#3833567
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49768) - you deserved it (4791)

On 07/17/2009 at 3:24pm - love - by Shocked (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

2day to get back at me for breaking up with him, ex-boyfriend thought it would be really funny to post semi nude pictures of me on Craigslist. To top it off, he decidd to give all 200+ people who respondd to ad home phone number. I'm getting non-stop calls from horny freaks. FML

#3832351
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51430) - you deserved it (18916)

On 07/17/2009 at 2:25pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I Was Walking Down The Street An While Stoppd At A Light, This Old Man Wavd At Me. Thinking Nothing Of It, I Walkd Through A Parking Lot To Get To Where I Was Going, Where He Not Only Followd Me, But Mistook Me 4 A Prostitute. It Was 5pm. FML

#3831265
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36770) - you deserved it (7653)

On 07/17/2009 at 1:29pm - misc - by ohman (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was going to check out my secret condom stash. When I looked inside, I found a note. The note read: "Thanks hun, I really needed this. Love, Mom". FML

Today hile backpacking in Switzerland I had mah camera stolen. Not only does this have photos of mah entire trip but the pictures I took fir mah best friend's wedding. I was the only photographer of her elopement. FML

#3828649
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46642) - you deserved it (10621)

On 07/17/2009 at 11:01am - misc - by pissedinSwiss (woman) - Switzerland (Bern)

Today, I received a ( diamond ring ) in Mafia Wars (a facebook app) from my boyfriend of 3 years!! Along with the ring came a message!! It read, ( Will you marry me? ) He was serious!! FML

#3827229
376 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56436) - you deserved it (9301)

On 07/17/2009 at 8:56am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)



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