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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I discovered that when you're the maid of honor giving a toast at your best friend's wedding, it's important to make sure the zipper on your dress is secured. Otherwise, your bare breasts and Hello Kitty panties could end up exposed to a wedding party of 600 people. FML

#5973387
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44218) - you deserved it (8805)

On 10/24/2009 at 12:11pm - misc - by meg265 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I went to McDonalds to get breakfast. I sat my food down at a table and went to get some napkins and a straw. I returned to the table to find that my food was gone, and could hear nothing but "SUCKKAAAA" trailing from the entrance to the restaurant. Some jerk stole my meal. FML

#5972550
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34459) - you deserved it (9394)

On 10/24/2009 at 10:45am - misc - by HungryGirl (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was informed by my next door neighbor that they heard me singing in the shower last night. I laughed and she told me that the family gathers in their upstairs room closest to my bathroom window to guess which song I'm singing. Every night. FML

#5971275
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33595) - you deserved it (6333)

On 10/24/2009 at 6:27am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I was playing Farmville all day, and I was really into the game. I was getting phone calls all day, but I kept ignoring them cause I was making so much Farm Money. Come to find out it was my son's school. He fell off the jungle gym and broke his arm. FML

#5970435
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9771) - you deserved it (136935)

On 10/24/2009 at 3:25am - kids - by stewhart (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, as I was driving with my boyfriend, he pointed out what a crappy car I drive. About how the locks don't work, the vents are broken, the windshield wipers are busted, my headlights aren't bright, and a hubcap is missing. Then he said I’m a good match for my car, 'cos we have the same “personality". FML

#5969153
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32072) - you deserved it (3780)

On 10/24/2009 at 1:07am - love - by Clunker (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my fiance told me he thought it was time that we started to see other people. I'm six months pregnant with his baby. FML

#5968857
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53388) - you deserved it (4257)

On 10/24/2009 at 12:49am - love - by Marcella (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I found my brand new tropical fish dead in its tank because my boyfriend got drunk last night and decided to pour red wine into the aquarium. FML

#5968472
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34592) - you deserved it (3434)

On 10/24/2009 at 12:26am - misc - by Brinty (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was changing my shirt in the bathroom when I dropped it. It fell on my foot, so I decided to flip it up with my foot instead of bending down to get it. I flipped it, and it landed in the toilet. Which somebody had not flushed. FML

#5966338
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13594) - you deserved it (34047)

On 10/23/2009 at 10:25pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was working a haunted house. I have a really good spot where I hide and scare people. This really hot guy was walking up, and I jumped out and screamed. He punched me in the face. FML

#5964680
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34737) - you deserved it (7096)

On 10/23/2009 at 8:40pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I heard whimpering while I was in my bedroom. Thinking it was my parents doing something nasty, I let them do it and turned on my music. My parents came home from work and I realised they were never home. I went into the room and saw my dead dog laying on the floor. FML

#5959934
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55403) - you deserved it (11078)

On 10/23/2009 at 3:13pm - love - by ashleyramsay (woman) - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, they are pumping out the septic system in the building next door. I am three months pregnant, suffering from morning sickness, and can smell everything within a three-mile radius. FML

#5958040
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36447) - you deserved it (3673)

On 10/23/2009 at 12:12pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I had to remind my roommates of the importance of wearing clothing at all times in the common living area. My roommates are my parents. FML

#5957888
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36551) - you deserved it (5843)

On 10/23/2009 at 11:54am - misc - by ihatemylife (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my old highschool math teacher called me, asking me to please stop calling him at 2AM every weekend. Turns out my best friend uses my cellphone to call his number every time she's drunk, and declares her eternal love to him. FML

#5957571
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36460) - you deserved it (4204)

On 10/23/2009 at 11:15am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Netherlands (Flevoland)



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