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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I told my boyfriend I was afraid he would no longer love me when he returned from basic training. Hoping he would reassure me his feelings wouldn't change and we'd still be together, he replied instead, "Shit happens." FML

#6148813
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34638) - you deserved it (7822)

On 11/04/2009 at 9:00am - love - by reality_stricken (woman) - Guam

Today, I decided to dress up sexy for my boyfriend. I put on cute undies and a corset because they made the most of my assets. The first thing my boyfriend said was 'the colours don't match'. FML

#6148778
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21693) - you deserved it (5431)

On 11/04/2009 at 8:53am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my son thought he'd take my new car for a drive without permission. He accelerated straight into a tree, reversed into a lamppost and then accelerated again into the neighbours car. FML

#6147430
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37942) - you deserved it (4548)

On 11/04/2009 at 3:44am - misc - by ishouldhidethekeys (woman) - United Kingdom (Leeds)

Today, I had a blind date that my friend set me up for. My date was the ugliest, most disgusting person you will ever meet, but I thought that I would give him a chance. He saw me, eyed me up and down, then said to my friend "You're kidding, right?" FML

#6146707
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41440) - you deserved it (9519)

On 11/04/2009 at 1:51am - love - by BlackCheetah101 (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I filled out a 'perfect job placement' test, where you put down your skills, experience and education level and then it finds you jobs based on your abilities and areas of knowledge. No lie, the most compatible job they found for me was 'Dishwasher'. FML

#6145744
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29696) - you deserved it (5914)

On 11/04/2009 at 12:26am - work - by dishwasherforlife (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I totalled my car. I flipped it over on the freeway and broke my collarbone in the process. I was in extreme pain and unable to move. It took the ambulance an hour to get there in rush hour traffic. The song repeating on my iPod was, "Don't Worry, be Happy." FML

#6145601
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41236) - you deserved it (5424)

On 11/04/2009 at 12:18am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I got a phone call from my dad that I haven't heard from in months. I didn't answer, but it left me an accidental voicemail saying "Oh s***, I didn't mean to call her!" FML

#6145553
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33702) - you deserved it (2399)

On 11/04/2009 at 12:15am - misc - by assdialed. (woman) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, the guy I've been dating texted me to say he joined an online dating site. He must have thought I was the best person to share this information with. FML

#6145417
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28529) - you deserved it (2567)

On 11/04/2009 at 12:05am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Northwest Territories)

Today, I watched my car roll backwards on the freeway, while attached to the tow truck that I was sitting in. FML

#6144396
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26822) - you deserved it (2320)

On 11/03/2009 at 11:06pm - misc - by ljd09 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got my crush's phone number. I started texting him and once I told him who it was, he stopped replying. FML

#6143431
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29335) - you deserved it (10516)

On 11/03/2009 at 10:17pm - love - by tbanana95 (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I accidentally cut myself with a razor blade on my toe. Not only does it sting really badly, but it reinforces the fact that I have abnormally hairy toes that need to be shaved. FML

#6141684
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25355) - you deserved it (4981)

On 11/03/2009 at 8:44pm - misc - by scaryhairy (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I found out that my best friend and the guy I had a crush on for 2 years are getting married. The worst part is that they've been dating for 2 years in secret, and just came out about it now. I've been telling her for 2 years how much I like him, and she's encouraged me the whole time. FML

#6140991
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51937) - you deserved it (3882)

On 11/03/2009 at 8:12pm - love - by Uknowwh (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I came in to work and found the conference room white boards completely clean. My assistant wiped all the white boards where I spent 10 hours writing schedule for the next three months. I was going to meet with all supervisors to finalize that schedule today. FML

#6137753
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37549) - you deserved it (6801)

On 11/03/2009 at 4:51pm - work - by CorpDrone (woman) - United States (Arizona)



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