Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, my friend called saying she was gathering all her girlfriends for a girl's night out. I was thrilled with the idea and started to think of something to wear. She then asked if I would mind watching her son. FML

#5368746
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39331) - you deserved it (2490)

On 09/20/2009 at 8:28am - misc - by Finesse7791 (woman) - United States (Delaware)

Today, I was at work and was trying to cheer up my stressed out manager by chatting. We were on the subject of sleeping in when I told her that I loved to be lazy and sleep in when I could. She looked up and down me and then answered, "I can see that." FML

#5368634
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29227) - you deserved it (9738)

On 09/20/2009 at 8:03am - work - by Lazy (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was at a party with my boyfriend meeting all of his friends for the first time. My boyfriend went into the kitchen to get me a drink, and after ten minutes I went looking for him. I discovered his friend holding two melons to his chest, mid explanation on how they look exactly like mine. FML

#5368590
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33837) - you deserved it (6262)

On 09/20/2009 at 8:00am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I went to babysit eight kids under the age of ten, all by myself. After five hours of Hell, the parents finally came back from the ASU game. I got paid $5. FML

#5365635
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48950) - you deserved it (6833)

On 09/20/2009 at 2:06am - misc - by JazzyandAlice (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my grandma wasn't feeling well, so I went to her house to check on her. After about 20 mins, I knew she was feeling better when she looked at me and said "So do you have a boyfriend yet? I pray everynight that I get to live long enough to see you with a boyfriend." FML

#5364824
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35702) - you deserved it (3740)

On 09/20/2009 at 1:18am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was in a department store with my three year old daughter to buy some new jeans. I took her into the dressing room with me and as I began to take off my pants she yells, "Mommy, you can't go peepee in here!!" I am no longer welcome in that particular store. FML

#5364487
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39370) - you deserved it (3581)

On 09/20/2009 at 1:01am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was locked out of my house so I texted my cousin to come over and help me get in. She came over, stood on a chair and lifted me through the smallest unlocked window possible. Sadly, this was my bathroom window and I ended up head-first into my toilet. FML

#5358347
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34080) - you deserved it (9381)

On 09/19/2009 at 8:08pm - misc - by GodDaughter (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I saw a YouTube video of a guy scratching a knife and a screwdriver on his iPod, and at the end he showed how there were no scratches and the screen was still clean. I took my iPod touch and did the same with a knife. It didn't work. FML

#5355612
490 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21671) - you deserved it (252625)

On 09/19/2009 at 5:36pm - misc - by MgmEboy (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, after being a stay-at-home mom and picking up after my kids for the past 15 years, I got a job rejection letter saying I wasn't qualified. It was a housekeeping position. FML

#5354989
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37194) - you deserved it (3858)

On 09/19/2009 at 5:04pm - work - by HousekeeperNoMore (woman) - United States (California)

Today, it is my wedding day. I couldn't find my very expensive wedding dress anywhere. After almost 2 hours of panic and chaos, I found it in my pool, covered in red paint, with a note on one of my lounge chairs reading, "Today is MY wedding day, bitch." FML

#5354968
251 comments

I agree, your life sucks (75793) - you deserved it (4062)

On 09/19/2009 at 5:04pm - misc - by weddingcrashed (woman) - United States (California)

Today, was my birthday. I asked for a camera - nothing fancy, just a basic digital camera. My mother bought my brother a fancy digital camera, with all the accessories, for over £200. She then gave me his old, analogue camera, that I can't get film for anymore. He hates taking photos. FML

#5352891
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40320) - you deserved it (2591)

On 09/19/2009 at 3:05pm - misc - by unlucky (woman) - United Kingdom (Hounslow)

Today, I had my 3 year old son in the doctors office. During the exam, he informed the doctor that he doesn't sleep in mommy's bed anymore because mommy sleeps in her underwear and farts all night long. FML

#5349169
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39471) - you deserved it (8223)

On 09/19/2009 at 10:37am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was trying to turn on my computer and couldn't. I spent twenty minutes trying to figure out what was wrong when I finally called my husband for help and made him leave work. He came in, looked at the wall, and plugged it back in. The look on his face said it all. FML

#5348863
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7288) - you deserved it (54252)

On 09/19/2009 at 10:10am - misc - by burnnotice (woman) - United States (Nebraska)



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