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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I found some oversized-strawberry-spree candies in my pantry. They were delicious and I munched on them through out the day. I ended up in and out, but mostly in, the bathroom in the dead hours of the night experiencing the wonders and effectiveness of Fruit Flavored Fiber pills. FML

#2367025
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11500) - you deserved it (40498)

On 05/28/2009 at 3:14am - health - by KKimrae_ness (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I decided to give blood for the second time. I felt excrutiating pain when she stuck the needle in my arm. Another nurse came running over in a panic. Apparently my inexperienced nurse had put it in my tendon instead of my vein. FML

#2363233
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59661) - you deserved it (2245)

On 05/28/2009 at 12:19am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my mom informed me that she wouldn't be joining the rest of the girls in the limo ride to the church for my wedding ceremony because she wants to have her car with her. Why? Because she is planning to leave my wedding reception half way through to go home and take her dog out to pee. FML

#2357341
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42281) - you deserved it (3773)

On 05/27/2009 at 9:40pm - animals - by KitKat270 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went to a real Japanese restaurant with my sister and mom, where you had to take off your shoes and sit on the floor. After the meal, I realized my shoes were no longer where I put them. For the seven years the restaurant has been open, I'm the first person to get their shoes stolen. FML

#2355217
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46377) - you deserved it (3023)

On 05/27/2009 at 8:51pm - misc - by Jdub (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my last task for the day as a high school janitor was to power-wash the concrete area where the graduation ceremony will take place. Tired and bored, I drew a huge penis with the power hose. Right before I was going to wash it off, the machine broke. Graduation is tomorrow. FML

#2350763
250 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15007) - you deserved it (65112)

On 05/27/2009 at 7:10pm - work - by waterproblem (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my kitten was playing with the drawstring on my pajama pants. He then jumped, clinging on to my crotch. I screamed in pain, which scared him and made him hold on tighter. My cat was literally hanging from my vagina with its claws for a good 30 seconds before I could pry him off. FML

#2349846
310 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56362) - you deserved it (7234)

On 05/27/2009 at 6:44pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I got an acceptance later to a great boarding school in India for my senior year of high school. I sent them a letter telling them I wouldn't go, because I just got back with my ex-boyfriend. I just got a text from my boyfriend. Guess who's my ex again? FML

#2344396
416 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15053) - you deserved it (103712)

On 05/27/2009 at 4:12pm - love - by tarini (woman) - Bangladesh (Dhaka)

Today, I had a job interview. I had to drop my daughter off with my babysitter first. When I got to the interview I got a weird look from the vice president of the company. I had lime green poop running down the side of my white blouse. FML

#2341558
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45220) - you deserved it (6385)

On 05/27/2009 at 2:15pm - kids - by boo (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was sitting in a bar next to this gorgeous guy who kept eyeing me up and after about 30 minutes he finally leaned in to whisper something in my ear. What he said? "If I were you, I would get a push-up bra." FML

#2340174
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46253) - you deserved it (5291)

On 05/27/2009 at 12:46pm - misc - by snitchovich (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I witnessed the homeless man that visits my neighborhood placing bags containing his own poop in my trash cans. I later received a notice stating that the garbage company will not provide my residence with garbage service until I “refrain from placing bags of my own feces in the trash.” FML

#2339155
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45862) - you deserved it (2454)

On 05/27/2009 at 11:39am - misc - by Brook363 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was woken up at 2 in the morning by my phone ringing. As I groggily reached for it I managed to knock my fan onto my head, leaving a grate-shaped bruise. The best part? My phone wasn't ringing, I dreamed myself awake. FML

#2336807
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33192) - you deserved it (4073)

On 05/27/2009 at 7:44am - misc - by GodDamnFan (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I took my friends out to an expensive restaurant for my birthday treat. They had arranged for a surprise birthday cake for me which I cut, very happily, while they chanted birthday wishes. When the bill came, I discovered I was supposed to pay for my great 'surprise' cake. FML

#2336185
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47269) - you deserved it (4651)

On 05/27/2009 at 6:15am - money - by abc (woman) - Pakistan (Sindh)

Today, I was on webcam with someone and the conversation died so I said "brb". I sat there for five minutes not realising I had left my webcam on. FML

#2334865
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7176) - you deserved it (70057)

On 05/27/2009 at 3:11am - misc - by Arrgh (woman) - United Kingdom (London)



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