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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, I decided to come clean with my daughter about her adoptive status within my family. Just after I told her she was adopted, I realized that I have been telling her stories about me giving birth to her. FML

#6240777
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6675) - you deserved it (59928)

On 11/10/2009 at 7:33am - love - by Uh-oh (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my boyfriend and I were lying in his bed watching football when it went to commercial. He started kissing my neck and trying to get me turned on. Then I remembered we'd be going to visit his mom soon, where we'd be playing Wii. That thought turned me on more than my boyfriend did. FML

#6239894
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9575) - you deserved it (22073)

On 11/10/2009 at 4:09am - intimacy - by vanessa_d15 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got a paper back that was given a zero for suspected plagiarism. Everything I wrote was my own thought and analysis. My instructor basically thinks my paper is smarter than I am. He won't listen, even when I explain my thought processes throughout the piece. FML

#6238965
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44652) - you deserved it (2590)

On 11/10/2009 at 1:43am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I received a rejection letter from a company I interviewed with three weeks ago. They didn't mention giving my $200 portfolio back. Guess I'll keep using my 4-year degree to wait tables. FML

#6238713
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28535) - you deserved it (3096)

On 11/10/2009 at 1:20am - work - by blargggggg (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my boyfriend of 7 years broke up with me in a text message. Then I found out from a mutual friend that he "came out" and told everyone at our school that he is gay. He has known he was gay for years and he was just using me as a cover up. What a great way to start my senior year. FML

#6237110
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37935) - you deserved it (4835)

On 11/09/2009 at 11:02pm - love - by amanda_ae_erin (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I attended a focus group. Since I've been unemployed for a month now I thought the $60 would come in handy. By the time I finished someone had broken into my car, stole my GPS and MP3 player. FML

#6236488
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26938) - you deserved it (3187)

On 11/09/2009 at 10:16pm - money - by unlucky (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out that I didn't get a job because I failed the psychological analysis. It told me to answer each question and tell the truth. So I did. I ask my friend, who got the job, if she told the truth. She said no. Apparently you have to lie in order to get a job. Sorry for being honest. FML

#6235478
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29518) - you deserved it (7501)

On 11/09/2009 at 9:28pm - work - by samantha711 (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was saying goodbye to my boyfriend before I got on my bus. As I turned to get on, the door closed on my face. I knocked on the door. The driver looked at me, and while still staring at me, drove off. FML

#6235277
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28344) - you deserved it (5183)

On 11/09/2009 at 9:20pm - misc - by Tee (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I went to have my eyebrows waxed for the first time. After signing in the receptionist looked at me and said "Lip wax?". I told her no, my eyebrows. She sat me down and the waxer walked up, took one look at me and said "Lip wax?" FML

#6230893
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32299) - you deserved it (9660)

On 11/09/2009 at 5:27pm - misc - by LoserOfTheYear (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, after visiting my mom, she stuffed a bunch of pads in my backpack so I'd have some at my dorm. When I was going through security, I was stopped and ended up missing my flight. Apparently the jumbo pads my mom sent look exactly like packs of cocaine when they go through the X-ray machine. FML

#6228123
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33243) - you deserved it (2645)

On 11/09/2009 at 1:42pm - misc - by tampondealer (woman) - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, while finishing up raking leaves, I decided it would be a fun idea to jump into them. After rolling around in the leaves for a bit, I smelled something funny. Turns out I was rolling around in dog shit. FML

#6226609
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15443) - you deserved it (36436)

On 11/09/2009 at 10:18am - animals - by Kirta (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, we got our results for our final grade English paper on which I worked my butt off on, and also which I let my best-friend copy off from. I received a E- and two detentions for plagiarism. My friend got a A minus. All she said was "oh well, at least you tried your best". FML

#6225217
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15305) - you deserved it (51603)

On 11/09/2009 at 5:27am - misc - by fuck_thisshit (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I discovered that my boyfriend only stayed with me because he didn't want to "be alone," and now that he has a new girlfriend, apparently he won't be. We were together for three and a half years. FML

#6225204
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33141) - you deserved it (2983)

On 11/09/2009 at 5:24am - love - by LasagnaRawks (woman) - United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire)



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