Today, I was developing film at walmart. It started to get a little warm, so I began taking off my sweatshirt. This creepy old man approaches me, saying "You know, usually girls like you are paid to take their clothes off." FML

by hotandbothered / 02/03/2010 at 1:24am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, after calling my boyfriend and telling him that my dog had just died, he hesitated and stuttered "She was old, sick, and suffering. Babe, it was her time to go." He then informed me he had to go to his friend's house and hung up. My dog was 2, in great health, and was hit by a car. FML

by Brittany / 02/03/2010 at 12:03am / United States (California) / Animals

Today, I found out that you can get arrested for holding up a 'free hugs' sign. FML

by nonameLiz / 02/02/2010 at 8:16pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to explain to my son that his dad was too busy in a raid on World of Warcraft to be at his award ceremony. FML

by fuckmylife / 02/02/2010 at 3:30pm / United States (Maryland) / Kids

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend watching a home made sex tape he had previously made with his ex-girlfriend. What's worse than him jerking off to it? He was crying and hugging a pillow. FML

by Anonymous / 02/02/2010 at 10:40am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

Today, I found out that I owe the IRS money due to my previous job not taking enough taxes out. I am broke, unemployed, and was counting on a big refund so I could pay for my divorce. FML

by taxed / 02/02/2010 at 8:00am / United States (Texas) / Money

Today, I found out that my boyfriend asked me to marry him because he could get a tax cut from buying the ring. All of this happened in front of his mother. FML

by engagedmaybe / 02/02/2010 at 1:20am / United States (North Carolina) / Love

Today, I woke up in the hospital. I had apparently overworked my heart so much that I fainted. What caused it? I was playing a racing game on my Wii and freaked out when I won first place. FML

by overexcited / 02/01/2010 at 7:40pm / United States (California) / Health

Today, I went outside to scrape the inch and a half of ice off my car so I could get to work. After half an hour of intense scraping, I realized that it wasn't my car. FML

by Anonymous / 02/01/2010 at 3:56pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Transportation

Today, I was giving a class presentation, when I suddenly sneezed so hard I wet myself. FML

by Anonymous / 02/01/2010 at 2:29pm / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous

Today, my mother gave my daughter a behavior chart. I noticed that "drinking beer" was at the top of one of the columns. It's a chart for my daughter to use on me so my mother can judge my parenting skills. I am currently losing a sticker right now for being on the computer. FML

by argh / 02/01/2010 at 8:17am / United States (Massachusetts) / Kids

Today, I found out that whilst I was asleep last night, my boyfriend was playing on his XBox. I also found out that whenever he unlocked a new level, achievement or just generally beat someone's ass, he would celebrate by pulling out one of his pubes and putting it in my mouth. FML

by doesnttastegood / 02/01/2010 at 5:23am / United Kingdom (Bath and North East Somerset) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was trying to get my car out of my boyfriend's apartment garage but couldn't. Why? Because somebody decided to park in front if the garage door and have sex. Complete with steamed windows and loud noises. FML

by ocroyalty / 02/01/2010 at 2:31am / United States (California) / Transportation