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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I caught my dad squishing my stick-on bra cups in his hands, trying to figure out what they are. He's an engineer who graduated from MIT. I still don't think he knows what they are. FML

Today, I was sitting on the couch with my little brother. He was looking at me and says "so cool." I asked him what was so cool and he says "it's not that cool but, your eyebrow connects to your other eyebrow". FML

#4760219
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30871) - you deserved it (12078)

On 08/23/2009 at 3:41pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was driving my car and I thought the construction guy was flirting and waving at me. So I drove by him, waving back and hit an oil spill and my car ended up spinning out of control. He was trying to direct me away from the oil spill. FML

#4757716
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6248) - you deserved it (38812)

On 08/23/2009 at 1:08pm - misc - by Susan (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was outside with a guy I really like. He asked me to lay down on the ground and watch the stars with him. I did. Suddenly, he got up, walked over to another girl and kissed her. They left me there on the soaking wet ground, watching the stars. FML

#4756705
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39420) - you deserved it (3386)

On 08/23/2009 at 7:00am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Norway (Buskerud)

Today, while laying in bed trying to go to sleep, I listened to the chirping crickets and appreciated how soothing the sounds were. Then I realized I lived on the 8th floor of an apartment building. Turns out my brother's science project got into my room and multiplied... a lot. FML

#4750882
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30191) - you deserved it (1892)

On 08/23/2009 at 12:38am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I spilled my heart out to a guy by showing him one of my poetry journals. He read through it and said, "Wow, I feel sorry for the guy you wrote about." The poems were all about how I loved him. FML

#4747171
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28773) - you deserved it (7228)

On 08/22/2009 at 10:41pm - love - by storyofmylife (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, it was my next-door neighbor's birthday. Over the past year, his pitbull has attacked my stepdad several times and put some stiches on me. Lucky for us, the dog was finally put down. For his birthday my neighbor got a new, bigger, pitbull. FML

#4739824
250 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32073) - you deserved it (5036)

On 08/22/2009 at 5:07pm - animals - by ShockBait (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my husband decided to drain his motorcycle oil into an empty bottle of laundry detergent. Also today, I decided to lift a stain out of my white comforter with some detergent I found in the garage. FML

#4738861
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29349) - you deserved it (10406)

On 08/22/2009 at 3:48pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I found out that the crumbs on the couch that look like the oreos you just ate, can actually turn out to be very crunchy, and have legs. FML

#4738686
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9984) - you deserved it (41618)

On 08/22/2009 at 3:39pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. As I was leaving his house I hear him shout "Hey! Wait! Sweetie, come back here!". He was talking to his cat who ran out the door behind me. FML

#4733759
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34080) - you deserved it (2996)

On 08/22/2009 at 11:39am - love - by roostergirl (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my husband came home from shopping with my 4 year old daughter and showed me a shirt she picked out herself. The shirt read "My mom's easy i'm living proof." Apparently she just liked the colours and her father agreed. FML

#4730526
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34942) - you deserved it (4034)

On 08/22/2009 at 5:29am - kids - by naughtyshirt (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was instructed to shave my back in preperation for my first tattoo. I'm a girl. FML

#4730370
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35673) - you deserved it (11191)

On 08/22/2009 at 5:07am - health - by Buggga (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my sister went into early labor. Instead of telling me, my mom turns to my dog and says "Guess what? You're going to be an uncle!" Our new dog ranks higher than me in our family's metaphorical food chain. FML

#4726515
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29844) - you deserved it (2742)

On 08/22/2009 at 1:39am - animals - by bigscarypuppy (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)



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