Today, my boyfriend accused me of cheating on him, all because I shaved my legs on a Wednesday. FML

by Humpday / 05/29/2016 at 5:36pm / United States / Love

Today, I got a rental car because my car needed new tires and I had a long drive ahead of me. Today, the rental car got a flat tire. FML

by alucas3 / 05/29/2016 at 4:14pm / United States / Transportation

Today, I received an email asking for a Skype interview at 11 am sharp. I waited for half an hour. He never even accepted my contact request. FML

by Heatherrolstonn / 05/29/2016 at 4:13pm / United States (Georgia) / Work

Today, I decided to make the switch from pads to tampons. My boyfriend ended up having to show me how to apply them. FML

by Anonymous / 05/29/2016 at 11:15am / Denmark / Miscellaneous

Today, my fiancé and I are house-sitting for my future in-laws for the next 3 weeks. They left a bible in both bedrooms, along with printouts of an article denouncing the "sin" of premarital sex. They're such complete whack-jobs, I wouldn't be surprised if they've set up hidden cameras everywhere too. FML

by Anonymous / 05/29/2016 at 8:06am / United States (Kansas) / Intimacy

Today, my mom was "that" customer at the local drive-thru. She slipped into attention whore mode and bitched the guy out for not giving us extra fries. He said she didn't ask for any, which was true. Instead of apologizing, she swore at him and floored the gas, sending our drinks spilling all over me. FML

by Anonymous / 05/28/2016 at 10:20pm / United States (New Hampshire) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was cuddling with my boyfriend after a fight. I told him the reason I was so irritable is because I'm on my period. He yelped in disgust and nearly fell out of bed. Good to know I'm dating a man-child. FML

by ideserveit / 05/28/2016 at 6:10pm / Finland / Love

Today, after waiting months for an appointment with a doctor who specializes in the disease I have, I showed up at his practice, only to find the cops executing a search warrant. FML

by Rescheduled / 05/28/2016 at 4:44am / United States (California) / Health

Today, my brother came out on Facebook, with a message including the words "I got nothing against gays. Except my dick!" I replied "Eww!" My second comment, "Eww because of the analogy, lol." disappeared among a load of replies tearing me apart for being a homophobe. FML

by Anonymous / 05/27/2016 at 11:47pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I dropped my father-in-law's friend off at the airport, and I got in trouble because he ended up missing his flight. He only missed it because he forgot to check in. FML

by rykelmb / 05/27/2016 at 7:40pm / United States (Alaska) / Miscellaneous

Today, my skittish cat almost fell off my bed. He caught himself, though. Using his claws on my bare foot. FML

by MercyRoseLiddell / 05/27/2016 at 3:13pm / United States (New Jersey) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my husband was being obnoxious, so I jokingly sprayed him with the dish hose. The floor got wet, and he slipped and busted his knees. Our daughter rushed over to him to see if he was okay, then slipped and busted her head on the floor. FML

by Anonymous / 05/27/2016 at 3:09pm / United States (Florida) / Kids

Today, my boyfriend added me to his friends' private Whatsapp group, after weeks of asking him to include me in more of his life. It turns out almost all they do is post pictures of their shits and rate them. There is nearly a year's worth of pictures. FML

by ~~~~ / 05/27/2016 at 2:45pm / Belgium (Antwerpen) / Miscellaneous