Today, I was so broke, I couldn't come up with enough change to pay the parking meter at my job. FML

by joanikens / 11/14/2016 at 2:20am / Money

Today, I flew 1800 km with my two small children to a remote northern village for work. Our bags were lost, leaving us without winter gear and only one change of clothes. Just to make things extra fun, we now all have uncontrollable vomiting and diarrhea. FML

by Anonymous / 11/13/2016 at 10:35pm / Transportation

Today, I was complimented by my guests about the great of service I was giving them. They then left me a $2 tip on a $50 tab. FML

by lolowills / 11/13/2016 at 10:20pm / Work

Today, my mom volunteered me to house-sit for one of her friends. This lady has texted me over ten times in less than 24 hours, called me unreasonable for not dropping jury duty to meet with her, and has messaged my mom multiple times to complain about me. My mom already said I would do this for free. FML

by Knittedbirch / 11/13/2016 at 9:36pm / Miscellaneous

Today my date kept offering to drop me off back home because he thought I wasn't enjoying myself at the dance. I wasn't enjoying myself at the dance because he kept asking if I wanted to leave. FML

Today, my boss at my new job yelled at me for being 15 minutes early to work. Last week he yelled at me for being late for my shift when I arrived 5 minutes early. He's considering this my final warning before I'm fired. FML

by Late / 11/12/2016 at 2:45am / Work

Today, I tried to make things less awkward by complimenting my Tai Chi partner's ring and he says, "Thanks, it's a purity ring!" I said, "I used to have one of those. Would you believe me if I said I lost it in a river?" Now my entire Tai Chi class thinks I lost my virginity in a river. FML

by Lizzy / 11/10/2016 at 10:01pm / Intimacy

Today, my cousin invited me to an event that would be on Saturday night. The first thing I did after she texted me, was ask my mom if I could go. I'm 20. FML

Today, I argued with my dog for ten minutes because she refused to go outside and pee. FML

Today my boyfriend proposed to me and I gladly accepted. The first words out of his mouth after getting off his knees were, "I own you now!" FML

by tallesttree54 / 11/10/2016 at 7:38pm / Love

Today, I replaced my dating apps with food apps cause at least someone will show up after I use the food apps. FML

by fyreangel / 11/10/2016 at 4:39pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, after complaining about the clocks still being an hour ahead from daylights savings, my work finally changed the time on all the clocks in the building. Now all the clocks are two hours ahead. FML

by needagoodlaugh / 11/09/2016 at 8:58pm / United States (Oregon) / Work

Today, my dog ate my underwear. This is the twenty-seventh pair that he has eaten. FML

by CanadianEH / 11/08/2016 at 6:39pm / Animals