Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, my shitburglar of an ex asked me to take him back. He said dumping me was a huge mistake. He dumped me because I was bed-ridden for several weeks and was in no condition to have sex. If his social media is anything to go by, he only wants me back because he couldn't get laid elsewhere. FML

#21518208
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20801) - you deserved it (1368)

On 01/22/2016 at 2:31pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, one of my professors left a cabinet door open whilst teaching class. The compulsion to get up and close it was so strong that I could barely concentrate on what was being taught. FML

Today, my sick semi-delusional boyfriend, whom I've been taking care of for days, accused me of trying to poison him so that I could play World of Warcraft. FML

#21517791
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18845) - you deserved it (1666)

On 01/21/2016 at 1:17pm - love - by Septy (woman) - Spain (Andalucia)

Today, while I was taking a shower, my boyfriend came into the bathroom to ask me a question. When I got out of the shower, I was greeted with a horrifying cutout of Michael Jackson. I fell backwards, shattering the glass shower door. I needed stitches. FML

Today, at my work at a charity shop, I reached into a new bag of donations only to pull out... used underwear. Thanks for your generosity. FML

Today, I was at school deleting documents I no longer needed on my school account. After clicking empty trash can, I saw a final paper on political science deleted. I'm not in political science, and I wasn't deleting files on my account. FML

#21517390
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17523) - you deserved it (9630)

On 01/20/2016 at 2:20pm - misc - by Jennifer (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, 9 years on, my dad still hates my husband for "ruining" my life by getting me pregnant in my late 20s. FML

#21517297
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19308) - you deserved it (1426)

On 01/20/2016 at 7:30am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I rode a skateboard down a street past a busy two-story outdoor cafe. As I rode by, a group of people thought it'd be funny to kick stray pebbles at my wheels, trying to make me trip. It worked. My backpack ripped open in the process letting all my school-work float away in the wind. FML

#21517189
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21912) - you deserved it (1763)

On 01/19/2016 at 11:06pm - misc - by YipYop (woman) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I took my two-year-old daughter to the dentist for her first check-up. We were at the front desk when she tripped, fell and chipped her front tooth on the marble floor. FML

#21516953
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20090) - you deserved it (1338)

On 01/19/2016 at 12:03pm - kids - by moosemay (woman) - Germany (Bayern)

Today, I told my boyfriend he's the only good thing left in my life. That's not a healthy relationship dynamic, he said, and ended up breaking up with me. FML

#21516923
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19691) - you deserved it (3116)

On 01/19/2016 at 9:59am - love - by brokenhearted (woman) - Sweden (Vastra Gotaland)

Today, I went to the hairdresser for the first time in the country I just moved to. Guess I don't speak the language as well as I thought. FML

#21516917
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20327) - you deserved it (2704)

On 01/19/2016 at 9:37am - misc - by hrmpf (woman) - Germany (Bremen)

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. It was all going great until he decided to try talking dirty. His idea of this was moaning loudly, "Just what the pussy ordered" as he entered me. FML

#21516882
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19502) - you deserved it (2213)

On 01/19/2016 at 6:03am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my dad and uncle got in an argument over money and ended up fighting in the back garden. Only, my dad is a muay thai fighter and my uncle is an MMA fighter, and they're refusing to stop until one of them is out cold. I foresee me driving them both to the hospital before midnight. FML

#21516668
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20074) - you deserved it (1286)

On 01/18/2016 at 5:29pm - misc - by enya (woman) - Luxembourg



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: