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Today, my boss told me I ask too many questions and that's why they cut my hours in half. Officially, I'm a "Pharmacy Technician in Training", which means I'm trying to teach myself how to do the job without killing someone. All from on the job experience and an outdated textbook. FML

#21402730
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27790) - you deserved it (2248)

On 05/01/2015 at 2:12am - work - by PharmSlave (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, after frantically searching my house and office and calling every place I'd visited in the last 24 hours, I finally found my phone in my fridge. FML

#21402394
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23991) - you deserved it (5941)

On 04/30/2015 at 2:48pm - work - by nerderer (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, a guy asked me for my number. Now I deeply regret giving it to him, because he won't stop sending me Bible quotes and pictures of Jesus. FML

Today, my mother was trying to have yet another "helpful" conversation about how to fix my anxiety. My sister's insightful comment? "I think your problem is that you need to get laid." My mom agreed with her. FML

#21401985
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28774) - you deserved it (3231)

On 04/29/2015 at 8:46pm - intimacy - by sexandanxiety (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my three-year-old nephew chose to jump out of a window and break his arm rather than be babysat by me. FML

#21401920
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25918) - you deserved it (3735)

On 04/29/2015 at 6:44pm - kids - by Winxy (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my mom announced my pregnancy to the entire family via Facebook with the post, "Just went from a MILF to a GILF in one moment of unprotected sex." FML

#21401833
100 comments

Today, my sister's kitten walked away from his litter box, jumped onto the table, looked me dead in the eyes, then peed directly onto my laptop. FML

#21401720
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29219) - you deserved it (2753)

On 04/29/2015 at 12:06pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - South Africa (KwaZulu-Natal)

Today, after waiting for 2 weeks for the right moment to meet my boyfriend's mom, she walked in as I was straddling him, trying to prove that I'd win in a wrestling match. I guess we met, then. FML

#21401631
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26009) - you deserved it (3578)

On 04/29/2015 at 7:11am - love - by xxlenalunaxx (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my fiancé called me 'thick' for not realising he'd been sleeping with his ex earlier. FML

Today, I went to a wine tasting for the first time. I copied the experienced people around me by swishing the wine around in my mouth, which I then choked on and spit out all over my white blouse. FML

#21400331
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26119) - you deserved it (8988)

On 04/26/2015 at 11:12pm - misc - by rookiemistake (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while with a large group of friends, my best friend started talking about my struggles with dating and intimacy. I quietly asked her to stop talking about it, as it was personal and I wasn't comfortable with everyone else knowing. Her response? "Um, it's really none of your business." FML

Today, I asked the man of my dreams out on a date. His response: "I'd rather eat my own balls." FML

#21399850
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32355) - you deserved it (3076)

On 04/26/2015 at 4:19am - love - by fuck you (woman) - United Kingdom (Sheffield)

Today, I was bitten by a therapy dog. FML



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