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Today, I'm stuck in a taxi cab while the driver listens to a radio show about sex fetishes. Can't wait to look him in the eye as I pay him. FML

#21365302
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25805) - you deserved it (2518)

On 02/28/2015 at 2:53pm - misc - by jojolee68 (woman) - United States

Today, while cleaning my son's room, I found an envelope labelled "PRIVATE AND CONFIDENTIAL" under his bed. I opened it, only to find it was a glitter bomb. I couldn't get it all cleaned off myself before he got home. He just said "HAH! Serves you right!" and went to his room smirking. FML

#21365242
238 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18763) - you deserved it (55474)

On 02/28/2015 at 1:11pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I sharted during my wedding vows. FML

#21365151
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37795) - you deserved it (4515)

On 02/28/2015 at 9:16am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Denmark (Nordjylland)

Today, after struggling for over a year with it, and now having it medically confirmed, I told my step-dad about my depression. He gave me a disgusted look and scoffed, "Toughen up, cunt." FML

#21364994
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33311) - you deserved it (3879)

On 02/28/2015 at 12:22am - health - by fine (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I broke my leg. My mom told me I still have to go to tennis class tomorrow because the course isn't refundable. FML

#21364862
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29266) - you deserved it (2059)

On 02/27/2015 at 9:25pm - health - by Ouch (woman) - Hong Kong

Today, my hiccups got so intense that I threw up in the middle of class. FML

#21364742
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30110) - you deserved it (2256)

On 02/27/2015 at 5:23pm - misc - by pregz (woman) - United States

Today, while having sex, my fiancé started talking dirty. I enjoyed it, until he had a brain fart and said, "God, you love fucking my pussy." FML

#21364648
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29780) - you deserved it (3169)

On 02/27/2015 at 2:37pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I won a pool game against some guy. His friends started mocking him for getting his ass whooped by a pregnant girl who couldn't even lean over the table. He got mad, swung his pool stick at them, missed, and hit me right in the face. FML

#21364532
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (75) - you deserved it (2432)

On 02/27/2015 at 10:29am - misc - by MCForty (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, as I was about to have sex with my husband, I said I wanted to "spice things up." Apparently, our ideas weren't the same. He yanked my nipples as hard as he could and said, "Yeah, you like that?" FML

#21364342
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31226) - you deserved it (5954)

On 02/27/2015 at 12:28am - intimacy - by milked (woman) - United States

Today, the doctor let me know I have an autoimmune disease. The disease results in ulcers in my colon which bleed when I poop. I cried, but only when I was told that I wouldn't be allowed to eat cheese anymore. FML

#21364143
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29937) - you deserved it (2666)

On 02/26/2015 at 7:20pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was telling my friends that I'd gotten a paid position to cover a worker's bereavement leave for the next three weeks. They then called me an insensitive bitch for 'profiting from someone else's misfortune'. FML

#21363187
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27492) - you deserved it (2590)

On 02/25/2015 at 6:51am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I T-boned a woman who pulled out of a parking lot right in front of me. According to her, the accident was my fault because she "didn't see" me. FML

Today, while trying to sleep, I heard what sounded like someone breaking into my house. I ran downstairs, only to find my cat had ripped down my blinds and was tangled up in them, thrashing around the floor like a fish. FML

#21363021
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27589) - you deserved it (2841)

On 02/24/2015 at 11:33pm - animals - by Sarah1330 (woman) - United States



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