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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, my boyfriend murmured his sister's name during sex. Before you say he was thinking of someone else with the same name, I've only ever met one person in our town called Nohemi. FML

#21429316
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28619) - you deserved it (1688)

On 06/21/2015 at 12:38am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I realized I'm pregnant by a man who won't even accept my Facebook friend request. FML

#21429134
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22457) - you deserved it (17966)

On 06/20/2015 at 4:54pm - misc - by happycow122 (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I caught my mother-in-law trying to plant a GPS tracker on my car. FML

#21428876
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26705) - you deserved it (1783)

On 06/20/2015 at 1:08am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I decided to do naked yoga in my lounge room, as I always do. Later, I found a note on my front door saying "Keep doing what you're doing". FML

#21428771
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25835) - you deserved it (8590)

On 06/19/2015 at 9:06pm - misc - by jenpearl (woman) - Australia

Today, I woke up to the sound of 4 gunshots from downstairs. I screamed, hid under the bed in tears and called the cops. Turned out my boyfriend hadn't been murdered by a burglar like I thought - he'd found a tarantula in our living room and decided to feed it a face full of lead. FML

#21428622
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28111) - you deserved it (3438)

On 06/19/2015 at 3:00pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I went to the restaurant I recently got a job at, to take the introductory three hour training course. Afterwards, I was told I wasn't hired after all. Why? The girl I was replacing suddenly decided she didn't want to move away and quit after all. FML

Today, I was in a hot tub at a public sauna. After chatting with a friendly couple, I decided to go get some lunch. I was halfway out of the water when the man started laughing and said he'd thought I was a woman. I am. FML

#21428077
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26180) - you deserved it (1969)

On 06/18/2015 at 12:56pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Netherlands (Limburg)

Today, my sister started a full-time job with a good pay despite having no prior work experience and being a college freshman. Meanwhile, I've graduated with two degrees, have been working two jobs for the last five years, and still can't get a full-time position anywhere. FML

#21427853
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28714) - you deserved it (2987)

On 06/17/2015 at 11:50pm - work - by Realworldred (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I'm actually starting to miss my former heroin addict neighbor because of how mellow he was compared to my new neighbors. FML

#21427797
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26284) - you deserved it (2087)

On 06/17/2015 at 10:07pm - money - by Rusty (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my mother got heartburn. She claimed she only gets heartburn when she is near a pregnant woman. She threatened to kick me out of the house if I didn't take a pregnancy test, despite there being no way I was pregnant. Turns out, I am pregnant, and my mother's ego has never been bigger. FML

#21427606
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30183) - you deserved it (8565)

On 06/17/2015 at 2:09pm - kids - by RecentCollegeGrad (woman) -

Today, I wore a sleeveless shirt for the first time in years, when I glimpsed something on my shoulder that looked like a spider. I let out a scream that sounded like a donkey having a stroke and flailed my arms. Then I realized it was my tattoo, and that I was freaking out everyone on the bus. FML

#21427542
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23665) - you deserved it (11527)

On 06/17/2015 at 11:41am - misc - by HURP (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my wife came back from her camping trip with her friends. I decided to help her out by unpacking her stuff while she used the bathroom. It's funny; I never knew that a dildo, a ball gag and an open pack of condoms were considered camping gear. FML

#21427521
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36667) - you deserved it (2825)

On 06/17/2015 at 10:12am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my co-worker told me how "lucky" I am that I "chose" to be a lesbian, because I don't have to deal with "guy drama". I spent two years of my adolescence sleeping at a bus stop and begging strangers for money after I got kicked out of home. FML

#21427509
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34850) - you deserved it (3340)

On 06/17/2015 at 9:31am - misc - by Lesbihonest (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)



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