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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, my kid made a new friend at school. When I asked her to describe her new friend, she said, "She looks kinda like you, only pretty." FML

#21372313
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (98) - you deserved it (2408)

On 03/11/2015 at 1:32am - kids - by CasaDeLoser (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I thought the ring my boyfriend bought for me had fallen off while emptying the trash into the bin. After panicking and emptying a week's worth of rubbish onto the ground, I found my ring safe and sound. On my other hand. FML

#21372086
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18189) - you deserved it (53)

On 03/10/2015 at 8:33pm - love - by MyPrecious... (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was stopped in the grocery store by a stranger, who berated me, quite loudly, for going out in public in my pajamas. I had just gotten off work and was wearing scrubs. FML

#21372027
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29865) - you deserved it (1931)

On 03/10/2015 at 6:38pm - misc - by katgib13 (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I got a new haircut. I was feeling pretty confident, until coworkers and family members kept making comments like, "I think you gained a little weight", "You look older" and "Do you still like guys?" Apparently, my new haircut changed my waist size and my sexual orientation. FML

#21371884
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27601) - you deserved it (2640)

On 03/10/2015 at 2:47pm - misc - by Lovemynewhaircut (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my ex-boyfriend asked me to homecoming, in front of the whole school, knowing I have social anxiety. I was forced to say yes to not seem like an asshole. Now I can't back out. FML

#21371675
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (144) - you deserved it (5974)

On 03/10/2015 at 4:03am - love - by TooMuchAnxiety (woman) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I got to listen to my boss lecture me about professional dress and subtly insinuate that my being on the heavier side top-wise with all the men in the office could be a problem. I've worn turtle necks for the whole two months I've been working there. FML

#21371359
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26187) - you deserved it (1917)

On 03/09/2015 at 6:59pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I noticed that whenever I don't give the homeless guy around the corner some money, my side mirrors get stolen. FML

Today, I decided to put on some sexy lingerie and wait for my husband to come home to surprise him. He took one look at me and immediately accused me of cheating. He was convinced my explanation was a lie and that I'd rushed some guy out the back door when he came home. FML

#21370369
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65) - you deserved it (2752)

On 03/08/2015 at 6:33am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Barnet)

Today, at a big family dinner, my dad said, "Pfff, gays don't have it hard at all. The things a guy has to do for sex with a girl? Crazy. All a gay guy has to do for sex is become an altar boy!" My husband's side of the family is very religious, and all hell quickly broke loose. FML

#21369938
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32629) - you deserved it (3042)

On 03/07/2015 at 1:42pm - misc - by killme (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my son was at a birthday party. After eating a plate of cake, he loudly asked the birthday boy's mum if he could have sloppy seconds. I don't know where he heard that phrase, but the other kids' parents shot me very dirty looks. FML

#21369892
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28009) - you deserved it (2970)

On 03/07/2015 at 11:59am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I watched in horror from the doorway as my brother furiously scratched at his greasy hair and ate the large flakes of dead skin that came loose from his scalp. I think our real dad might be caged in a zoo somewhere. FML

#21369858
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27073) - you deserved it (2081)

On 03/07/2015 at 10:58am - misc - by GROSS (woman) - Bangladesh

Today, I rolled up a newspaper and smashed a huge spider in my room. As I went to scoop it up with a tissue, it lurched away and fell near my bed. I can't find it, but I can sure as fuck sense the pure evil coming from it. Looks like I'll be sleeping on the couch tonight. FML

#21369803
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (74) - you deserved it (4891)

On 03/07/2015 at 7:14am - animals - by farksh (woman) - Australia

Today, my boyfriend's little sister told me she hates me. I thought she was just a jealous, whiny tard like most kids are, until she calmly walked over to the wall and headbutted it hard. She burst into tears, ran out of the room, and told my boyfriend I hit her. He believed her. FML

#21369365
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34988) - you deserved it (2878)

On 03/06/2015 at 3:44pm - kids - by single&alone (woman) - United States (Washington)



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  • It's the weekend so let's plaster on a fake smile and plough through this shit one more time. Sorry, I was channelling Bill Hicks there. I'll start again. Hi everyone, how are you doing? This week…

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