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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, my fiancé freaked when he noticed the tattoo on my wrist, and demanded to know when I got it. It was two years before we even started dating. FML

#21395494
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28195) - you deserved it (2192)

On 04/17/2015 at 11:12pm - love - by pandapantsMD (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, a friendly game of Cards Against Humanity somehow ended in a screaming match, my best friend's mother pulling out her tits, and me getting bit in the foot by a dog. FML

Today, I coughed so hard that I fractured two ribs. FML

#21395325
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30161) - you deserved it (2393)

On 04/17/2015 at 5:47pm - health - by rachlette (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my boss showed me a two-page letter from a customer, complaining about me because I couldn't honor a coupon that expired in 2009. He agreed that I did the right thing by refusing it, but said it would be a black mark on my record anyway due to the complaint. FML

#21395274
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27994) - you deserved it (1594)

On 04/17/2015 at 3:50pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Argentina

Today, I received a terrible grade for an essay I worked really hard on. I had two friends, one being an English major, check it over. However, apparently I "clearly didn't use spellcheck" on this essay just like the last one I submitted to her. FML

#21394988
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23961) - you deserved it (4975)

On 04/16/2015 at 11:34pm - work - by shaifox96 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I invited a guy I've been crushing on for ages to my house, and I really wanted to make a good impression. We were sitting in the living room having drinks when my cat came in, dragging a pair of my dirty underwear and dropped them right in front of us. FML

#21394577
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31853) - you deserved it (4153)

On 04/16/2015 at 9:10am - animals - by HM (woman) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, after a discussion, my boyfriend said, "I think it's time you found somebody better." After I gave him a look, he continued, "For me." FML

#21394512
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27584) - you deserved it (2337)

On 04/16/2015 at 3:59am - love - by Marona (woman) - Croatia (Grad Zagreb)

Today, my husband came too soon during sex. He then tried to pretend it didn't happen and continued. He humped me with a half-erect noodle for about seven minutes before I finally called him out. FML

#21394468
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32244) - you deserved it (4924)

On 04/16/2015 at 1:04am - intimacy - by Evra (woman) - United States

Today, a few weeks after teaching my dog to fetch my phone and drop it in my lap, he decided to do it spontaneously. Too bad I was in the bath at the time. There goes a $300 phone. FML

#21394097
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26685) - you deserved it (19494)

On 04/15/2015 at 1:18pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, my 3-year-old broke his glasses, clogged the toilet with Hot Wheel cars, and covered the whole house with Cheerios. All in a matter of roughly 6 minutes while I was putting laundry away. FML

#21393865
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30105) - you deserved it (3339)

On 04/15/2015 at 12:17am - kids - by mommylife (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I got a massage. Just as I was starting to relax, the massage therapist drooled on my face. FML

#21393655
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28432) - you deserved it (1939)

On 04/14/2015 at 5:50pm - misc - by spitty (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my supervisor forced me to bring the image of a failed simulation to the group meeting, because he thought it looked funny. So did the others and it's now going on our webpage. I have to provide a scientific description of how I made a mistake in my code. FML

#21393415
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23839) - you deserved it (2461)

On 04/14/2015 at 7:50am - work - by OptMouse (woman) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)



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