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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I took my boyfriend to a family dinner. Not an hour later, I walked in on my sister giving him a handjob in her room. And what's worse, my first reaction was just to wonder why he'd bother cheating on me for just a handjob. FML

#21358057
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39303) - you deserved it (3100)

On 02/17/2015 at 2:17pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, a homeless guy told me I looked like shit and to have some self-respect. Right. FML

#21358017
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27279) - you deserved it (3944)

On 02/17/2015 at 1:23pm - misc - by trolls have hit the gutters (woman) - United Kingdom (Durham)

Today, my drinking problem became apparent when my daughter asked for a glass of juice, and I instinctively poured a large glass of scotch instead. FML

#21357563
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14960) - you deserved it (34182)

On 02/16/2015 at 8:04pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, after 3 hours of sleep, I had to rush to my grandmother's house because she fell and couldn't get up. An embarrassed, half-naked old lady, a very wet rug, an ambulance and a trip to the hospital later, and she still refuses to use her cane and walker. I hope I'm not this stubborn when I'm old. FML

Today, a police car hit my parked vehicle, likely due to icy road conditions. When the officer came over to talk to me, I assumed it was to give me his insurance information. Nope. It was to give me a ticket for 'impeding a police officer'. My car was in my driveway. FML

#21357102
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40744) - you deserved it (2144)

On 02/16/2015 at 1:01am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my roommate let out a blood-curdling scream in the bathroom. I ran in to see what was going on, only to find her sitting on the toilet, topless. Turned out she'd tried to pierce her own tit using a clothespin and a needle. FML

#21356659
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33665) - you deserved it (2805)

On 02/15/2015 at 12:57pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Denmark

Today, once again I tried to convince my dad to stop smoking. And once again, while I was speaking, he lit up a cigarette and smoked until my asthma flared up and I was wheezing so hard that I had to leave the room. FML

#21356583
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33237) - you deserved it (2541)

On 02/15/2015 at 9:52am - love - by =( (woman) - Australia

Today, I gave birth to a baby girl. Where was my husband after the agony finally ended? Standing just outside the room, flirting with a nurse. FML

#21355574
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35688) - you deserved it (3193)

On 02/13/2015 at 9:43pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I'm working for a company that makes over a million dollars a year, yet leaves me with no choice but to pee in a cup because they won't pay to fix the only toilet in the building. FML

#21355373
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28121) - you deserved it (2057)

On 02/13/2015 at 2:05pm - work - by Anonynonynon (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my husband fell asleep while cuddling. I didn't want to wake him, so I lay there for ages, trying to fall asleep. Just as I finally dozed off, my leg uncontrollably jerked and hit him in the nuts. He's convinced I did it deliberately as revenge for an argument we had 5 days ago. FML

#21355326
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27400) - you deserved it (2946)

On 02/13/2015 at 12:33pm - misc - by Innocence (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, as a reward for finishing all my work in maths, I was told I could leave early. Apparently, later on, the class had a random attendance inspection. I didn't know about this until I received a detention for not being present at that class. My teacher had completely forgotten about me. FML

Today, I made my mom breakfast in bed for her birthday. She was naked when I went to give it to her. FML

#21354690
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29261) - you deserved it (5702)

On 02/12/2015 at 12:23pm - misc - by ahhhhhh (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)



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