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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I started my day off with a relaxing cup of coffee, the morning paper, and the sound of my mother informing me I will be going to hell for being not believing in God. FML

#21417394
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26485) - you deserved it (5077)

On 05/29/2015 at 12:16am - misc - by idonthavereligion (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, for my birthday, my boyfriend made me a coupon book. I thought it was sweet until I noticed they were all conditional. For example; "Give your boyfriend a blowjob and he'll give you a 10 minute back massage!". They're all like that and he's mad because I refuse to use them. FML

#21417382
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28756) - you deserved it (2923)

On 05/28/2015 at 11:39pm - intimacy - by shmoooopie (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I found out that the reason why my boyfriend has been denying me sex isn't because he is scared of someone walking in on us. It's because his blow-up doll pleasures him more than I do. FML

#21417148
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29678) - you deserved it (4764)

On 05/28/2015 at 2:05pm - intimacy - by MarieAmber18 (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I got engaged. When I called my father, who is out of state for a few days, to tell him, his response was, "What'd you do that for?" FML

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend having sex with another woman. They told me to leave so they could finish, and that "we'll all talk this over later." FML

#21416749
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36017) - you deserved it (2404)

On 05/27/2015 at 6:03pm - intimacy - by hellno (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my dad stood by and nodded in agreement as my sister told me that my clinical depression is "getting REALLY old." FML

#21416569
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28026) - you deserved it (3162)

On 05/27/2015 at 9:39am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, I woke up to my little sister strangling me. My parents accused me of making the red marks on my throat myself to exaggerate how bad it was. She's just "going through a phase", they say, and I'm a bad person for punching her to get her off me. FML

#21414899
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33366) - you deserved it (2088)

On 05/24/2015 at 11:15am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I kept getting out of bed because I was sure my daughter had pooped in her diaper. Every time, I found nothing. I finally figured out the foul smell was my husband's breath, when he leaned into kiss me goodnight. FML

#21414880
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26772) - you deserved it (2375)

On 05/24/2015 at 10:14am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I caught my son trying to punch his own teeth out so he'd get more money from the tooth fairy. FML

#21414342
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25878) - you deserved it (3107)

On 05/23/2015 at 7:06am - kids - by DENTALITY (woman) - Norway

Today, I finally found a bug I had been trying to get rid of. When I removed my bra, I noticed what looked like a piece of bug on it. Apparently, the bug was flattened and suffocated by my boob the entire day. FML

#21414219
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24714) - you deserved it (2359)

On 05/22/2015 at 10:26pm - misc - by Kurda (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my aunt, whom I live with, told me she is going to move out and demanded her half of the rent back, as she only spent two days a week there. When I told her that's not how rent works, she called my mom to tell her what a failure she had raised. Her own sons are unemployed drug addicts. FML

#21414120
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27945) - you deserved it (1699)

On 05/22/2015 at 6:14pm - money - by Failure (woman) - Germany (Sachsen-Anhalt)

Today, I had to ask one of my coworkers if we were supposed to return a client's teeth to her. I work at a jewellery store. FML

#21413953
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23819) - you deserved it (2038)

On 05/22/2015 at 11:02am - work - by grossedout (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I used a tanning bed for the first time ever, in an attempt to get a base tan for the summer. No one bothered to warn me that you shouldn't go the full ten minutes your first time. Now my skin is as red as my hair. FML

#21413860
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17245) - you deserved it (19148)

On 05/22/2015 at 3:36am - health - by missko519 (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)



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