Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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today ours after being turned down 4 sex, I woke up to my boyfriend sitting at te computer, jacking off to a picture of my deceased mom. FML

#21351381
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47337) - you deserved it (3770)

On 02/07/2015 at 6:51am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

TODAY, MAH MOM CALLED ME AN ATTENTION SEEKER AND THREW A BITCH FIT BECAUSE MAH CAT ( DECIDED ) TO DIE ON HER BIRTHDAY. REAL FML

#21351283
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31434) - you deserved it (2085)

On 02/07/2015 at 12:13am - animals - by juliette (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I experienced te orror of walking in on ma best friend fondling is tits. Yes, "is". FML

#21351065
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27590) - you deserved it (2932)

On 02/06/2015 at 6:00pm - misc - by barf (woman) - Ireland

Today... my mom accused me of smoking weed. Truth is... I'd just ripped the quietest and weirdest smelling fart of my life. She wouldn't believe me... accused me of making stupid excuses up... and grounded me. FML

#21350938
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28000) - you deserved it (2536)

On 02/06/2015 at 1:51pm - misc - by valarmorgoolies (woman) - United States (New York)

Yesterday, in an effort to avoid mah school's strict no-gum policy as mah teacher made a b-line to me, I swallowd it. By the time the teacher reachd me, the gum was on mah desk, as well as mah breakfast, thank to mah overactive gag reflex. FML

#21350431
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24136) - you deserved it (14037)

On 02/05/2015 at 4:03pm - misc - by gumchuck (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I woke up to a broken car window an a text from mah ex that read, "Before u ask me, the answer is yes." real FML

#21349905
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30693) - you deserved it (2739)

On 02/04/2015 at 8:21pm - misc - by jamienicole1993 (woman) - United States (Georgia)

2day my date dropped me off at home and briefly met my parents. As he was leaving hehispered into my ear, ( I want to feel the inside of yur virginia with the outside of my penis. ) My parents totally hered. FML

#21349904
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37044) - you deserved it (4217)

On 02/04/2015 at 8:21pm - intimacy - by MIB thingy please... (woman) - United States (Oregon)

TODAY, I CALLED BOSS A "FUCKING RETARD" 4 DOING SOMETHING INSANELY STUPID, ONLY 4 HIM TO FINE OUT 5 MINUTES LATER THAT I DID EXACTLY THE SAME THING . I'LL NEVER HEAR THE END OF THIS NOW . FML

Today, I'm here to inform men that, ( If I fucked you, I wouldn't pull out ) is not an effective pick up line. Ever. Especially on a coworker. FML

#21349737
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31881) - you deserved it (4640)

On 02/04/2015 at 3:17pm - intimacy - by No thank you (woman) - United States (Ohio)

TODAY, AT WORK, I SNEEZED SO HARD THAT I HIT HEAD ON CASH REGISTER!! A SECOND LATER, I HEARD ROARING LAUGHTER FROM THE SECURITY ROOM, FOLLOWED BY SOMEONE SAYING TO PLAY IT BACK!! I'D ALMOST CONVINCED MYSELF IT WASN'T ABOUT ME,HEN ONE OF THE GUYS CUMMED OUT AN GAVE ME A THUMB UP!! FML

#21349710
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33677) - you deserved it (2956)

On 02/04/2015 at 2:28pm - work - by fxck (woman) -

Today, mah boyfriend of 5 days proposed to me at the mall . FML

#21349612
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39129) - you deserved it (3929)

On 02/04/2015 at 11:06am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Netherlands

Today, mah science teacher decided not to recommend me fir an honors science class fir next year. The reason? Last week, I made the mistake of askinghether spray tans give vitamins in the same way as the sun. mega FML

#21349372
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14177) - you deserved it (42758)

On 02/03/2015 at 10:53pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today... I shavd fir the frst time. My mum gave me a razor and I spent about 20 minutes trying to use it. I gave up... yelling... "FUCK IT!" and put it back on the shelf. It fell... and as it hit the floor... a lid fell off. I'd trid to shave with a sheathd razor fir 20 minutes. FML

#21349366
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14635) - you deserved it (38264)

On 02/03/2015 at 10:45pm - health - by februarymarchapril (woman) - United States (Texas)



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