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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I accidentally farted while on my flight home. It was silent but so deadly that several people were visibly distressed. The overweight guy sitting next to me got a bunch of dirty glares. I was too ashamed to own up to it. FML

#21505094
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18200) - you deserved it (6631)

On 12/18/2015 at 8:34am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Sri Lanka (Western)

Today, I woke up to noises from downstairs. I practically pissed my pants and called the cops. Turned out it was just my cat being a dickhead in the living room. FML

#21505083
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17823) - you deserved it (5050)

On 12/18/2015 at 6:40am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I started my new job at a small business. I was pretty excited to finally be working, until I found out the big boss is a creeper and sees no problem making comments such as "You're way more interesting than the rest of these slope-eyed fucks." FML

#21505072
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19331) - you deserved it (1523)

On 12/18/2015 at 5:17am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I had to explain to someone in my class who Gandhi really was and that he was not a fictional goblin. FML

#21504813
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21237) - you deserved it (1522)

On 12/17/2015 at 1:45pm - misc - by anon (woman) -

Today, I was in Starbucks with my daughter when she noticed a travel cup she liked. She picked one up and asked for it, but I said no because it was expensive. She angrily slammed it back into its stand and in the process, knocked over a display of ceramic mugs. I had to pay for each broken mug. FML

#21504605
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23675) - you deserved it (4169)

On 12/16/2015 at 9:55pm - kids - by Starfucks (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I went for a soak in a mineral hot pool to relax after a stressful day teaching middle school. There were 120 middle schoolers there on a school trip. FML

#21504328
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23817) - you deserved it (1886)

On 12/16/2015 at 4:10am - kids - by Teacher (woman) - New Zealand (Bay of Plenty)

Today, my sister finally came home from the hospital with my new baby nephew. When I got a chance to hold him, my mother mentioned that he looked a lot like me when I was a baby. My sister started crying. FML

#21504149
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20954) - you deserved it (1550)

On 12/15/2015 at 7:32pm - misc - by hi_im_ughlee (woman) -

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I went for a much needed relaxing massage. As I lay down, the renovation works in the next building started up. FML

#21504091
23 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18075) - you deserved it (1236)

On 12/15/2015 at 5:01pm - misc - by BangBangBzzz (woman) -

Today, I came home early to surprise my boyfriend. I walked into our bedroom to find him in dressed completely in my clothes, and in makeup. It took me a moment to realize it was him and not a female intruder. FML

#21503943
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23426) - you deserved it (2031)

On 12/15/2015 at 8:03am - misc - by ConfusedGirl (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, after working at the same place for 3 years, I found out that they are not only cutting my hours but now I have to take orders from some girl I trained because she was promoted over me. FML

#21503764
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20979) - you deserved it (2520)

On 12/14/2015 at 7:15pm - work - by hatemyjob (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I got a concussion at work. Our resident schizophrenic decided to test how gravity worked by dropping a torch over the bannister directly onto my head. I'm still seeing stars. FML

Today, my parents decided that the best way to save money was to dilute everything we drank with water. Only one more year of watered down soda and juice to go. FML

#21503382
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20695) - you deserved it (2227)

On 12/13/2015 at 7:15pm - misc - by BasicallySodaFlavoredWater (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my step-brother went grocery shopping alone for the first time. He came home with Ramen and 14 bottles of chocolate milk, which will expire by the 20th. My step-dad is insisting we eat it so it doesn't go to waste. FML

#21503235
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20619) - you deserved it (1717)

On 12/13/2015 at 9:10am - misc - by noodlesandmilk (woman) - Australia (Australian Capital Territory)



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