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Today, I opened my Christmas presents with my husband. One of the things he got me was a ball gag. "Yeah," he said with a grin, "That one's more for me but I didn't wanna buy myself headphones." Cue our son asking me what it was. FML

#21507419
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20293) - you deserved it (1938)

On 12/24/2015 at 6:47pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I was taking my grandma shopping, when she pointed at a pair of thongs and told me if I don’t start wearing them I won’t get a man. I've been married for 4 years, gran. Thanks for paying attention. FML

#21507374
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19463) - you deserved it (1457)

On 12/24/2015 at 4:38pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I told my friend I was considering adopting a dog. She looked at me like I was Satan and went on a rant about how dogs are "born evil" and will always maul someone given the chance. I still have the marks from when one of her psycho cats sliced open my arm last month. FML

#21507307
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19952) - you deserved it (1552)

On 12/24/2015 at 1:06pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my mom decided that my hair was too long and that she was going to cut it. I now look like a male extra from Xanadu. FML

Today, as I passed a printout over my shoulder to my mum, I managed to give myself a papercut on my tear duct. FML

#21506874
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22102) - you deserved it (2499)

On 12/23/2015 at 12:11pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Germany

Today, it's been a week since I flew down to stay with my long distance boyfriend. We went on long walks on the shore, under the stars, and had an unforgettable picnic viewing the sunset. I just now received a message of screenshots displaying him attempting to hook up with another girl. FML

#21506777
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21014) - you deserved it (1654)

On 12/23/2015 at 1:54am - love - by Nothing Special (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I took a coach bus to travel to New York. Along the way, the bus stopped at Burger King and I went out to buy some food. When I got back, I couldn't find the bus. It left without me. FML

#21506719
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20341) - you deserved it (3164)

On 12/22/2015 at 10:44pm - misc - by natalie_sarantos (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my boyfriend dumped me during what was supposed to be a romantic getaway at a remote log cabin. FML

#21506547
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21284) - you deserved it (1594)

On 12/22/2015 at 11:53am - love - by pabj208 (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I was in class and I smelled what I thought was month-old trash coming from a student in front of me. I politely ignored the smell, only to realize a few hours later that the persistent smell wasn't coming from every student in my university, but was from my shoes. FML

#21506480
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18914) - you deserved it (7887)

On 12/22/2015 at 4:26am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my 15 year-old brother told us his girlfriend is pregnant. He was taught in his abstinence-only sex ed that condoms don't prevent pregnancy. My parents are blaming her pregnancy on me, for not telling him the truth about sex, because parents giving their kids the sex talk is "too awkward." FML

Today, my friends and I were going to Applebee's. A girl we don't like invited herself along. She waited for my friend outside of the bathroom, forced her to drive her, and said, "It's okay someone will pay for me." She then ate off of everyone's plate and left before the bill came. FML

#21506364
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21345) - you deserved it (3512)

On 12/21/2015 at 9:42pm - misc - by RUFckingSrs (woman) - United States (California)

Today, four days before Christmas, I discovered a rash on my daughter's shoulder. The doctor took one look and said, "It's chicken pox. Merry Christmas." FML

#21506142
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21269) - you deserved it (1814)

On 12/21/2015 at 6:45am - kids - by BadLuck (woman) - United Kingdom (Oxfordshire)

Today, my husband finally revealed that he's been secretly buying a particular brand of spicy chicken, eating it on his way home from work. He does it because it makes his farts smell just the way he likes it under the duvet when we go to bed. FML

#21505151
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21276) - you deserved it (1762)

On 12/18/2015 at 12:49pm - misc - by tara (woman) - Switzerland (Zug)



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