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Today, my boyfriend decided to suddenly stop in the middle of sex, just as I was actually starting to enjoy myself, just to bear hug me and exclaim, "Crikey, she's angry!" in the voice of Steve Irwin. He laughed so hard at his own joke that he went soft and couldn't continue. FML

#21410853
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27702) - you deserved it (2665)

On 05/16/2015 at 5:11am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Aberdeen City)

Today, I was supporting my aunt as she gave birth. She was getting tired during the pushing stage, so I tried to encourage her by making a show of pushing as well with each contraction. I got a little too into it and accidentally gave birth to a little turd of my own. FML

Today, my drunk boyfriend decided to wake me up by fingering me. Let's just say going to the ER to get your tampon dug out isn't fun. FML

#21410572
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29869) - you deserved it (2490)

On 05/15/2015 at 3:54pm - intimacy - by nazirah4shizzle (woman) - United States

Today, my sister told me she found my escaped tarantula and put it in a box on my bed. I never had a tarantula, and the box was empty when I checked. FML

#21409835
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27989) - you deserved it (2147)

On 05/14/2015 at 1:11am - animals - by cricketsins (woman) - United States

Today, my little cousin was helping me wash my car. After scrubbing all the dirt, I gave him the hose and said, "Okay, now rinse off this disgusting thing." He turned the hose on me. FML

#21409816
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23117) - you deserved it (5727)

On 05/14/2015 at 12:26am - kids - by ptarr12345 (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my friends told me they will be unable to attend my birthday party on Friday because they'll be watching the Vampire Diaries finale. FML

#21409757
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26485) - you deserved it (2989)

On 05/13/2015 at 10:55pm - misc - by Muralove (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, whilst visiting an unfamiliar office site for work, I was conversing with my boss about the possibility of considering myself for a managing position in the future. I then unintentionally followed him to the bathroom whilst walking and texting. FML

Today, my grandpa told me he was going to be eating out tonight, and I asked at which restaurant. He replied "Your gran's room." and winked. I didn't need that mental image, at all. FML

#21409445
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29751) - you deserved it (2668)

On 05/13/2015 at 12:00pm - misc - by -_- (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I managed to throw my back out by blowing my nose. FML

#21409404
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23788) - you deserved it (2605)

On 05/13/2015 at 9:57am - health - by Hlaalette (woman) - Belgium

Today, a while after finishing and uploading a task, I looked at my peers' work to make sure I hadn't missed anything in mine. One of them had gotten the same idea and had decided to incorporate part of my work into his. "Part" as in "all". "All" as in all of his work is also all of mine. FML

#21409245
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25136) - you deserved it (2102)

On 05/12/2015 at 11:19pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, after a big presentation, people sent an open invitation to dinner. When I asked which restaurant and what time, I was told that I wasn't invited. I've been here for three years. FML

#21409208
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25038) - you deserved it (1998)

On 05/12/2015 at 10:11pm - work - by spitt (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I went to bring my 92-year-old neighbor some cake we had just made. When I walked in, she was wearing pants. That's it. I stared blinking in shock for a few seconds before running away, yelling, "So sorry. I brought you cake. Real tired. Gonna sleep now. Bye." FML

#21409137
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23572) - you deserved it (3012)

On 05/12/2015 at 8:33pm - misc - by Nikki (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I stood up in front of the class and dropped my pen. As I bent over to pick it up, a boy in the front row loudly broke wind. I will forever be known as "that teacher who farted". FML

#21408482
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25521) - you deserved it (1966)

On 05/11/2015 at 4:54pm - work - by Becky (woman) - United Kingdom (Dorset)



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