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Today, my idiot kid brother set my shirt on fire with a magnifying glass while I was taking a nap outside. FML

#21463887
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11966) - you deserved it (1147)

On 09/02/2015 at 8:32pm - kids - by girl on fire (woman) -

Today, I had yet another debilitating migraine that kept me awake. In the middle of the night, I heard an owl hooting. Thinking it was cool, I moved closer to the open window to hear better. After a few minutes, I realized it was actually my new neighbor having loud sex. My aunt moved in next door. FML

#21463837
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12173) - you deserved it (881)

On 09/02/2015 at 5:52pm - intimacy - by Hooty (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I brought home a new small glass necklace and put it somewhere I figured that the cats couldn't reach. I was wrong. Now I will be looking through kitty litter to find something smaller than a dime. Talk about needle in a haystack. FML

#21463835
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10036) - you deserved it (1554)

On 09/02/2015 at 5:39pm - animals - by Shay (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my mother called me a slut and unladylike because I prefer beer instead of wine. Apparently, beer's only for "unladylike sluts". FML

#21463833
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11930) - you deserved it (1066)

On 09/02/2015 at 5:37pm - misc - by BeerSlut (woman) - Portugal (Vila Real)

Today, after the doctor poking around my urethra and vagina at a lump. She turns to me and says, "I'm going to be honest, I have no idea what that is. Have some antibiotics and we'll see how it goes in two weeks." Excuse me while I go panic in a corner. FML

#21463826
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12061) - you deserved it (747)

On 09/02/2015 at 5:10pm - health - by freakingout (woman) - United Kingdom (Coventry)

Today, my doctor informed me that the tests we've been doing the previous months show no sign of leukemia. I was just about to express my relief when he casually followed up with, "Never mind, there's still a lot of other blood-related diseases we need to look out for." FML

#21463645
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17693) - you deserved it (1041)

On 09/02/2015 at 6:09am - health - by Lily (woman) - Austria (Wien)

Today, I invited an acquaintance over for tea. When he came in, I told him to make himself at home. He took it literally and now half of my pantry is messed up, my boyfriend's chocolate supply is gone, and I'm pretty sure our couch is broken. Thanks. FML

#21463240
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18762) - you deserved it (2859)

On 09/01/2015 at 12:37am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, it was my birthday and I have no children. My father bluntly says, "Well, I guess if I get any grand-babies out of you now, they will have Down's Syndrome." I just turned 30. FML

#21463070
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19978) - you deserved it (1446)

On 08/31/2015 at 5:46pm - kids - by AM (woman) -

Today, I walked in on my dad completely naked. When I expressed my displeasure, he told me to knock next time. I'd agree with him, if he hadn't been standing in the middle of the hallway in our very open living room. FML

#21462782
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19877) - you deserved it (1305)

On 08/30/2015 at 11:27pm - misc - by Eminnis (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I found out that while my sister can somehow manage to keep an eye on and control her three preschool-aged children at the park, making sure nobody steals my dog from right beside her is just too big of a job. FML

#21462507
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20104) - you deserved it (2787)

On 08/30/2015 at 9:29am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (West Virginia)

Today, I met my fiancé's much older sister for the first time. Turns out she is actually my old high school English teacher who used to make me cry at least 3 times a week. It's been three hours and I've accidentally called her Miss Willow 4 times and been reduced to tears twice. FML

#21462491
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25833) - you deserved it (2793)

On 08/30/2015 at 8:13am - misc - by Alice (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, I was hit by acute food poisoning while attending a colleague's birthday party at his home. The toilet had a door that wouldn't close all the way, there were only three sheets of toilet paper left, and I had to walk home through town, in a dress, with my soiled underwear in a plastic bag. FML

#21462484
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20722) - you deserved it (1472)

On 08/30/2015 at 7:29am - health - by monkeywrench (woman) - Sweden

Today, my mom saw a picture of the moon and asked me what "those big spots" were. She actually thought the craters were continents and tried correcting me when I told her what they were. Then I almost got into trouble for being disrespectful. FML

#21462353
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18960) - you deserved it (1226)

On 08/29/2015 at 11:02pm - misc - by bornfromhillbillies (woman) - United States (Illinois)



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