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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, let's just say it's not a good sign when your plumber yells "What the fuck?!" That is, unless you actually like your kitchen being swamped by sewage. FML

#21512099
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19497) - you deserved it (1232)

On 01/06/2016 at 10:58am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I went to move a load of laundry out of the washer and into the dryer, but the clothes were already in the dryer. Normally, I would be happy about this. However, I am currently living alone. FML

#21511987
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20790) - you deserved it (1866)

On 01/05/2016 at 11:48pm - misc - by Pithegreat (man) - United States (California)

Today, someone had thrown up onto the last remaining seat on the train. Guess who accidentally sat in it. FML

#21511850
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19526) - you deserved it (3144)

On 01/05/2016 at 5:23pm - misc - by sochunky (man) - United Kingdom (Bedfordshire)

Today, my grandfather showed up at my house in a panic. He rushed over, with a gun, because I wasn't answering his texts and he thought something had happened to me. I was asleep. FML

#21511770
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20766) - you deserved it (1990)

On 01/05/2016 at 12:44pm - misc - by notanightowlanymore (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my dad sat me and my sister down and give us a "talk". More like an angry irrational rant. He forbade us from being gay, marrying a Muslim or a black person, demanded kids from both of us, and threatened to disown us if we didn't. Where's my free will? FML

#21511511
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22361) - you deserved it (2013)

On 01/04/2016 at 7:21pm - misc - by this is impossible (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my boss lost the company a very lucrative contract I had worked on for weeks because he wouldn't tolerate the client's "disrespect." The disrespect? Asking him to not interrupt her or put words in her mouth during a conference call with her employees. FML

Today, I sneezed hard while eating some quite spicy potato chips at my friend's house. Some of the chips passed to the nasal cavity, and I ended up having to pick my nose for some pointy, spicy chips shrapnel. FML

#21511081
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17831) - you deserved it (1662)

On 01/03/2016 at 5:42pm - health - by yankesik (man) - Poland (Wielkopolskie)

Today, I found out my ex started a Tumblr where she posts one photo a day. Each photo being a pic I texted her over the course of our relationship. My office, the bars I like to go to, favorite restaurants, my mom's place, my place, my penis, etc. FML

#21511030
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21466) - you deserved it (3848)

On 01/03/2016 at 3:02pm - intimacy - by ywouldudomelikethat (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I had to listen to my brother whine yet again about being single and how unfair it is. This is a guy who owns an "I fuck on the first date" t-shirt and has more than once referred to women as "vaginas with a person attached". Last time I called him out for being such a dick, I got punched. FML

#21510935
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24301) - you deserved it (1731)

On 01/03/2016 at 9:01am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Leeds)

Today, I was driving a little over the speed limit, when I saw a cop car waiting to join the road ahead of me. I quickly hit the brakes so they wouldn't have a payday with me. I hit the brakes too hard, lost control and almost ended up on someone's lawn. FML

#21510493
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9902) - you deserved it (23035)

On 01/02/2016 at 2:04am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, after much reflection, I realized my "happy childhood" was more like "the years I was oblivious to how much people despised me." FML

#21510381
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20047) - you deserved it (1947)

On 01/01/2016 at 9:07pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, a customer gave me hell because a high-spec game he bought wouldn't run on his ancient Windows XP PC. I ended up having to profusely apologize and refund him. Whoever coined the phrase "the customer is always right" should probably be shot, run over by a bus, then shot a few more times. FML

#21510144
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24205) - you deserved it (1772)

On 01/01/2016 at 9:28am - work - by fucking fuck off (man) - United States

Today, my girlfriend furiously bitched me out because I got more upset about my phone screen cracking than when she told me about the death of her cat. We hadn't even met when her cat died. Did she expect me to burst into tears from hearing the story? Guess who's single again! FML

#21510107
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21835) - you deserved it (3029)

On 01/01/2016 at 5:33am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Tennessee)



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