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Today, I opened the cupboard and a bag of flour fell on my head, covering me from head to toe. Last night I got drunk, and set some booby traps up around the house for my roommate. I'd forgot that my roommate moved out a week ago. FML

Today, I arrived at the kennels I work in to find the power disconnected and the water pump off. This meant I had to bucket water and carry it to keep over sixty assorted dogs and cats alive in temperatures over 90 degrees. The moment I finished, the power came back on. FML

#21514912
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20965) - you deserved it (1364)

On 01/13/2016 at 9:08pm - animals - by TooFlamingHot (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, sewage came up the toilet and tub in my apartment and spread far enough to get into the hallway. The maintenance crew found the source of the blocked pipes to be a ten inch long weave some idiot flushed down a toilet. FML

#21514581
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19762) - you deserved it (1064)

On 01/13/2016 at 12:54am - misc - by NeedsANewApartment (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my girlfriend launched her own business. I was recently laid off from my job, so I offered to be her very first employee. I now have the glamorous job of bleaching people's assholes. FML

#21514315
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20345) - you deserved it (6516)

On 01/12/2016 at 1:04pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, at work, a drunk demanded a salad dressing we don't have. He marched into my kitchen and demanded I make it for him. When I said we didn't have the ingredients, he pushed the microwave over and stormed out. My boss came in and wrote me up for being "pushy and rude to customers". FML

#21514245
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22887) - you deserved it (1278)

On 01/12/2016 at 8:24am - work - by Talis (man) - United States (California)

Today, while I was in a very important meeting on Skype, my apartment complex was evacuated due to the fire alarm going off. The reason was that my neighbor put a fork in his microwave due to him being extremely drunk. FML

#21514057
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19019) - you deserved it (1207)

On 01/11/2016 at 6:15pm - work - by DookDaSpook (man) - United States (California)

 Today, I realized how lonely I am, when I got a call from an elderly women who had dialed the wrong number. We ended up having a 20 minute conversation about her cat and how he "just won't use the darn litter pan." I was sad when she had to hang up. FML

#21513970
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22387) - you deserved it (2187)

On 01/11/2016 at 1:03pm - misc - by JoseIsAdork (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I found out that my crush of a few years likes me. How? Her boyfriend told me, followed by a punch in the face. FML

#21513961
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22830) - you deserved it (1658)

On 01/11/2016 at 12:21pm - love - by anon (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I went out with my mom to a restaurant. We were sitting down to eat, and a waitress walks over to our table and asks, "How are you ladies doing tonight?" It really was a nice thing to ask, for my mom. As for me, being a man, not so much. FML

#21513803
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19476) - you deserved it (2116)

On 01/11/2016 at 12:28am - misc - by TheMike23 (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I met my new upstairs neighbors. They have a four month old child and appear to be firm believers in the "let them cry it out" philosophy. The baby's room is right above mine. A few days of trying to sleep through this shit and I'll look like a Walking Dead extra. FML

#21513493
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20750) - you deserved it (1424)

On 01/10/2016 at 8:17am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, after dating my girlfriend for a while, I had a realization. She often says things like, "You're my favorite!" and scratches my beard, which I appreciated affectionately. Upon meeting her pets, it dawned on me that I am just another one of her cats. FML

#21513338
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22260) - you deserved it (2207)

On 01/09/2016 at 9:07pm - love - by Jack (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I spent nearly an hour trying to take a decent photo for my dating site profile. Not 20 minutes after uploading it, I got a message saying "Srsly dude stop trying, u look like Rosie O'Donnell." FML

#21513083
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19887) - you deserved it (2097)

On 01/09/2016 at 12:38am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was stretching on the balcony, when I heard my neighbor's daughter scream. She was playing in their kiddie pool and thought I was peeping on her. And now her parents think so too. FML

#21513068
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19427) - you deserved it (1282)

On 01/09/2016 at 12:14am - kids - by orcatheseapanda (man) - Thailand



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