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Man or woman?

Today, I went out with this girl I really liked an she cummed back to place. Things were heating up an we ended up having sex an I was on top. I was really into it an in the middle of it she held up her wrist an said "oh, look at the time, I gotta get home". She wasn't wereing a watch. FML

#618347
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (86916) - you deserved it (16576)

On 03/26/2009 at 4:37am - intimacy - by crap (man) - Thailand (Krung Thep)

Today , I met my girlfriend's very religious parents 4 dinner. Somehow looool we got to talking about her groin hernias that were repaird as a baby. I never knew she had hernias repaird and said , "But she doesn't have any scars down there." There was a long awkward silence. FML

#618069
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34366) - you deserved it (125168)

On 03/26/2009 at 3:37am - intimacy - by douchetard (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I got back from a 6 month deployment overseas . My girlfriend of 3 yeres couldn't pick me up from the airport cuz she had an intramural softball game to go to . FML

#617826
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (75667) - you deserved it (5790)

On 03/26/2009 at 3:06am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, Mah Friends And Me Had A Little Water Balloon Fight And Somehow It Led To Throwing Water Balloons At Cars!! We All Decided To Hit A Car All At Once, After One Cummed By We All Hit It!! The Car Stopped And Started Flashing Bright Blue Lights!! We Ended Up Hitting An Off-duty Police Car!! FML

#616637
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11653) - you deserved it (112820)

On 03/26/2009 at 1:20am - misc - by AzNFoo (man) - United States (California)

Today, my mom told me she spent $760 on "quantum pendants" that "produce scalar energy that helps to enhance the body’s biofield." When I told her she got scammed, she denied it an yelled at me!! Best part? She frequently lecture me about how I waste my money an spend rresponsibly!! FML

#616286
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60971) - you deserved it (4634)

On 03/26/2009 at 1:06am - money - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I Realized Mah Friend And I Should Be More Careful Wat We Say Around Mah Younger Brother. I Never Thought He Was Paying Attention Until Today. My Stepmom Told Him It Was Time To Go To Bed. He Responded, "I Think It's Time For You To Suck One." My Brother Is 4. FML

#615927
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16647) - you deserved it (71654)

On 03/26/2009 at 12:42am - misc - by Alex (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today... I want to tha doctor to fina out why I'va looool baan faaling so sick tha past savaral waaks. Turns out... I'm savaraly allargic to tha cat of mah girlfriand of two yaars. I told har "It's ma or tha cat." Sha chosa tha cat. raal FML

#598637
251 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65276) - you deserved it (27583)

On 03/25/2009 at 12:43pm - love - by fmlsrsly (man) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, we got our yerebook fir school. I opened to mah profile to see that they misspelled mah frst name which is James. They wrote Lames. FML

#598465
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (148794) - you deserved it (11669)

On 03/25/2009 at 12:32pm - misc - by rusty2020 (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

TODAY, I WAS SHAVING OFF MY BAARD 4 THA FIRST TIMA IN A VARY LONG TIMA . I DACIDAD TO HAVA A LITTLA FUN WITH IT, AND SHAVAD MY BAARD FIRST INTO A GOATAA, THAN A HANDLA-BAR, THAN, FINALLY, INTO A HITLAR MUSTACHA . MY ALACTRIC RAZOR DIAS . I DON'T HAVA A NORMAL ONA OR AN AXTRA BATTARY . FML

#597085
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37858) - you deserved it (82879)

On 03/25/2009 at 10:13am - misc - by nomorebeard (man) - United States (North Carolina)

2day mah friends decided that I eat too many snacks. To emphasize this point, they went behind mah back and printed 300 pages with mah face and the words "NO SNACKS" on them. They were posted in every academic building on campus, including every room I have class in. fat FML

#594482
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65925) - you deserved it (9698)

On 03/25/2009 at 1:45am - misc - by face (man) - United States (Virginia)

today mah watch broke so I casually mentioned to mah dad that I needed a new one. A little while later he hands me this really nice watch. He says, "Here, this one's been lying around fir a while". It was the watch I gave him fir Father's Day. FML

#593767
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (72224) - you deserved it (4419)

On 03/25/2009 at 1:06am - misc - by regiftee (man) - United States (Texas)



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