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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

today I finally bought the toy mah two year old son always wantd !! He would always tap on the TV when the commercial 4 it would appear !! I give him the present, and he starts playing with the bag !! FML

#907158
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41373) - you deserved it (9114)

On 04/10/2009 at 8:37pm - kids - by Bob (man) - United States (Texas)

Yesterday, I was sitting in mah chemistry classhen a sick girl behind me asked "Can looool I go to the bathroom?" My teacher, being smart said, "Don't you mean MAY I use the bathroom?" Meanwhile, the girl behind me started throwing up all over her desk an me. FML

#901011
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65697) - you deserved it (3265)

On 04/10/2009 at 12:53pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Taday I was babysitting my nieghbor's kid. We were playing in the yard, when he fell and got a small scratch on his leg. I gasp, and he takes a huge breath in and yells, "FUUUCK!!!" as loud as possible. The parents thought it was me, and the mother slapped me in the face. FML

#900029
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66443) - you deserved it (3022)

On 04/10/2009 at 11:35am - kids - by mandy (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, mah mate came over wanting me to listen to a new music cd he got. It was by some unknown band, and at the end he askd me what I thought, and I said it was ok, but the lead singer couldn't sing even if his life dependd on it. Turns out mah mate's the lead singer, and it was his own band. FML

#899489
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23837) - you deserved it (38927)

On 04/10/2009 at 10:41am - misc - by Jay (man) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)

Today, I was driving my car like any ordinary day . My dad has been harping on me about not checking the oil, so I finally checkd it . Driving down the road my hood flew up and shatterd my windshield . I forgot to latch my hood after checking the oil . $300 for a new windshield . The oil was fine . FML

#899403
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17394) - you deserved it (56964)

On 04/10/2009 at 10:35am - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maine)

Today, I was sent to an elementary scool for safety day. One of te dads was asking about ma job,en I told im about te long ours and ig stres involved. He turned to is son and said ( Now seey u stay in scool? ) I'm a paramedic. Wit a bacelor's degree. FML

#899104
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52330) - you deserved it (2702)

On 04/10/2009 at 10:07am - work - by Franco (man) - United States

Today , I had a bunch of parties while my parents were out of town. I made sure to clean up absolutely everything , I even vacuumd the stairs. As they pulld up , I noticd all of the trash bags filld with beer cans blocking their way into the garage. FML

#898279
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7787) - you deserved it (73728)

On 04/10/2009 at 6:17am - misc - by blah (man) - United States (Idaho)

today I went fir a lunch interview fir my dream job. The interview was great an at the end, I tried to seal the deal by complimenting my future boss. I said, ( You're really hardworking. Do u always looool work on a Saturday? ) He looked at me, smiled an then wrote something down. Today's Friday. FML

#897398
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13148) - you deserved it (54615)

On 04/10/2009 at 3:06am - work - by sifa (man) - Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur)

TODAY , MA YOUNGER BROTER WATCD AN OLD MUSIC VIDEO OF TE WO,O ARE KNOW 4 SMASING UP TEIR GUITARS AND SUC!! HE DECIDD IT WOULD BE COOL TO TRY IT WIT MINE!! TAT GUITAR WAS WORT OVER $3000!! FML

#894121
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (78802) - you deserved it (4118)

On 04/09/2009 at 10:43pm - misc - by FML4evs (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went to a professional baseball game. In the 5th inning, our row was chosen fir a random giveaway where everyone sitting in the row recievd free roundtrip airline tickets to New York City. While this was going on, I was up, getting a pretzel. FML

Today, I was selling cookie dough for a fund raiser at an old folks home. One lady orderd a box an told me that she lovd cookie dough. I told her it'd be here in 4 weeks, she said "Oh I can't wait!". Not really thinking, as I left I said, "I hope u can make it till then!". FML

#891660
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10477) - you deserved it (61649)

On 04/09/2009 at 8:16pm - misc - by phatkroger10 (man) - United States (Minnesota)

TODAY, MAH MOM HAD A BABY SHOWER. WHEN IT WAS OVER I WALKD AROUND CLEANING UP THE TRASH, WHEN I SAW A CARD SITTING ON THE TABLE WITH A NOTE TO MAH MOM SAYING "BETTER LUCK WITH THIS ONE." AT THE MOMENT I AM AN ONLY CHILD, AND THE CARD WAS SIGND FROM MAH GRANDMOTHER. FML

#889248
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69271) - you deserved it (3722)

On 04/09/2009 at 5:44pm - kids - by Tim (man) - United States (Illinois)



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