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Man or woman?

Today, I was at work laminating a large photo. While I was doing this, I had a sudden itch on my nut sack. So I quickly scratched it away. When the customer came to pick up the print, I noticed that one of my pubic hairs had laminated itself on the cheek of the woman in the photograph. FML

#869023
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16815) - you deserved it (92628)

On 04/08/2009 at 10:48am - work - by StevieMe (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I saw my train pulling in to the station. I sprinted up the stairs and luckily made the train. I looked around and no one was in my compartment. I began to notice that the train was heading down some tracks I'd never been too. I got stuck on an empty train for 3 hours in the train garage. FML

#868262
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53906) - you deserved it (13617)

On 04/08/2009 at 8:49am - misc - by bkeiya (man) - Japan (Kanagawa)

Today, I was at the gym with my friends when they invited me to do a few bench presses. Since I'd never done any before, I decided to start with no weights on the bar and work my way up from there. I wound up pinned beneath the bar, calling for my friend to come free me. FML

#867922
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45655) - you deserved it (21090)

On 04/08/2009 at 7:17am - misc - by MarcusJones713 (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I made the mistake of sneezing in front of a hyper religious customer, who for ten minutes blamed the incident of shifting weather patterns that signaled the return of Jesus, who was as she explained, upset about the abortion rates in America and President Obama. FML

#867771
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67428) - you deserved it (4739)

On 04/08/2009 at 6:26am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was at a gay bar and asking a really convincing drag queen about her daily routine. I asked how she tucked her penis in. She responded, "Um, I'm a woman." I said, "Oh I'm sorry, are you pre-op or post-op?" She said, "No, I always have been and always will be a woman, asshole." FML

#866665
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20260) - you deserved it (73230)

On 04/08/2009 at 2:38am - misc - by thatwasmiz (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was afraid my mother had seen the bottle of hand lotion I'd forgotten to take off the desk after I'd whacked off last night, but she acted fine. I went out with friends to find she'd had changed the background to say "Please Do Not Watch Porn on the Family Computer." FML

#864808
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9328) - you deserved it (61353)

On 04/08/2009 at 12:34am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were outside tanning in the sun. I asked her if she could put some sunscreen on my back. Thinking it would be funny, she used the lotion to write "I Love Little Boys". I work as a children's swimming instructor. FML

#864226
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63506) - you deserved it (5781)

On 04/08/2009 at 12:03am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because apparently I need to "grow up". He is the one who plays excesive Call of Duty and still has Pokémon and Bionicles in his room. FML

#856956
469 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59183) - you deserved it (20253)

On 04/07/2009 at 5:41pm - love - by phreshrice (man) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I was on a flight from Chicago to Minneapolis. A rather attractive young lady sitting next to me fell asleep at the beginning of the flight. About 40 minutes into the flight I noticed my fly was open. The lady woke to me with my hands in my crotch struggling to zip up my fly. FML

#853459
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58583) - you deserved it (7377)

On 04/07/2009 at 2:12pm - misc - by saltynutz20 (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was at the beach walking on the boardwalk without a shirt on. Two cute girls are walking my way and I decide to try and impress them by flexing my abs. While I flexed them, I accidentally let a fart out that everyone heard. Everybody, including the girls, laughed hysterically at me. FML

#852008
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13126) - you deserved it (75232)

On 04/07/2009 at 12:12pm - misc - by gotmon3y (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was at work at a local hot dog chain. A child (about 10, who I've seen there before) came in to order food for his Dad. He orders very excitedly, and I told him he'd be a great worker here when he gets older. He said "oh no, my Dad says I'm too smart to work in a place like this." FML

#850361
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55892) - you deserved it (12524)

On 04/07/2009 at 8:50am - work - by GT716 (man) - United States (New York)

Today, we were at the end of our surfing trip watching a photo montage. A picture popped up of an ugly girl surfing so I shouted out "I didn't know Shrek could surf". The room went very quiet. "Shrek" was sitting beside me. FML

#850097
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13630) - you deserved it (160504)

On 04/07/2009 at 7:46am - misc - by Brastro (man) - Ireland (Kildare)

Today, I saw the blueprints for my family's new house. My room is half the size of the room next to it. The room next to it is my step mom's walk-in closet. FML

#849768
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (169380) - you deserved it (9244)

On 04/07/2009 at 6:07am - misc - by Powerfool (man) - United States (Virginia)



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