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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, my professor, who was born without arms, asked somebody "need a hand?" There are over 300 students in that class and I was the only one laughing. FML

Today, I woke up at 5 and studied for my 9:30am exam for 4 hours. When I left my dorm at 9, it was dark outside. Turns out I slept through the entire day and woke up at 5pm. FML

#77446
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39177) - you deserved it (26433)

On 02/19/2009 at 11:57am - work - by AbsolutelyEffed (man) - United States (California)

Today, I woke up in a girls bed, that I have had a crush on for two years. She was sleeping on the floor with someone else. FML

#77324
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41350) - you deserved it (3308)

On 02/19/2009 at 11:29am - misc - by VacationTSA (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was marked absent from my math class because nobody in my class noticed I was there. FML

#77123
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48316) - you deserved it (4931)

On 02/19/2009 at 10:48am - misc - by Invisible (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I asked to borrow my fat friend's pants for a semi-formal activity tomorrow. I figured I'd just get a belt to hold the pants up. Turns out, the pants fit me. FML

#76555
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11947) - you deserved it (51858)

On 02/19/2009 at 7:18am - health - by Machine (man) - Japan (Okinawa)

Today, I told a girl I liked her. She replied, "Don't". FML

#75697
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53874) - you deserved it (5066)

On 02/19/2009 at 2:08am - love - by grlks (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was looking after a hamster for a friend. My dog ate it. FML

#75299
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46307) - you deserved it (9439)

On 02/19/2009 at 1:14am - animals - by zac545 (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I told my long-distance girlfriend that I just could not handle the distance and we should just be friends. To which she responded, "What? You thought we were going out? Lol". FML

#71381
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39063) - you deserved it (7297)

On 02/18/2009 at 7:43pm - misc - by Fack. (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, at Church, the little boy sitting behind me asked his mother if I had the chicken pox, because there were red dots all over my face. I've had bad acne since I was twelve. FML

#69964
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38500) - you deserved it (2718)

On 02/18/2009 at 5:09pm - kids - by Spotted (man) - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, I was having sex with a girl I really like for the first time. After a while I told her I was about to come. Her response: "Lucky you." FML

#69948
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49113) - you deserved it (20085)

On 02/18/2009 at 5:07pm - intimacy - by sadguy (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my friend had a Coke can on his desk in class. It was empty but I was thirsty so I picked it up thinking I could try to get that little bit of Coke always left at the bottom. When I took a sip I found out he had been picking his fingernails and putting them in the can. FML

#67274
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15151) - you deserved it (47142)

On 02/18/2009 at 9:29am - misc - by Thatkid (man) - Singapore

Today, I told my parents how grateful I am for having them in my life and that not many kids are as lucky as me. My mom texted me after I went out 10 minutes later: "Are you ok? You seemed depressed earlier." FML

#66830
22 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28613) - you deserved it (4630)

On 02/18/2009 at 3:55am - love - by dxl (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, my group of friends, my girlfriend, and I were playing 'never have I ever.' My girlfriend's turn came up and she went with, 'Never have I ever had an orgasm.' FML

#64211
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55468) - you deserved it (17799)

On 02/17/2009 at 10:22pm - intimacy - by skeletor (man) - United States (New York)



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